Park Jimin; Sinner

Park Jimin; Numb

|Warning| smut (ish)

Anonymous POV
Should I tell him?

Jimins POV

This was way too much, a complete over load of my senses, I had half a mind to stop, to just pull back and end it. I felt really bad for corrupting Kookie, for making him this way, but at the same time the selfish part of me screamed that this was needed, that it was so important that this happened because god did it feel good.

At this point I was half hard and Jungkooks slender fingers were tugging on the waistband of my track pants and it took all the willpower I had to resist his attempts because I wanted this bad. I've wanted this for months. I reached down and placed my hand on top of his, causing his finger movements to come to a halt.

"Are you sure about this Kook?" I tried to say without stuttering because the pressure of his hand atop my bulge was enough to make anyone crumble. At this he withdrew his hand and placed it over his own bulge, palming himself and I swear I nearly lost my sanity.

"Do you not want this Jimin?" He said with half lidded eyes, glazed over with arousal. Oh how incorrect he was.

"Jungkook I have wanted this since the night in the mill, I'm just worried about you" I said earnestly, my hand inching towards my dick, it wasn't getting nearly enough action. Jungkooks eyes seemed to follow the movement of my hand, I saw his Adam's apple bob as he gulped before leaning forward again.

"You always say to live in the now don't you?" He whispered before getting off the beanbag and pushing me into the floor, his lips mouthing along the column of my neck. I let out an embarrassingly pitiful keen.

By the time his lips met my nipple I was a moaning mess due to the fact that he had started rotating his narrow hips, grinding down on me giving me the friction I have been craving for some time now.

"Ah-ah Jungko-ok" I stuttered when his hand slipped into my track pants, palming over the steadily growing bulge in my boxers. It was at this moment he took his hand away and dragged it to the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head. He did it slowly, uncertainly, and I couldn't help but feel a pang of guild flood my chest and the self conscious expression that coated his face.

The front of him didn't look that bad in all honesty, he had a few yellowing bruises on his abdomen that made me feel a twinge of sadness, and a few brighter, purple bruised on his shoulders, little circles that looked like fingerprints.

"I-ignore the bruises" Jungkook said sadly, shyly. I pulled him into my arms, trying to ignore the feeling of our bare skin together.

"Kookie, how many times do I have to tell you that I'm not disgusted, I'm in awe that you are still strong. The only thing they do is make me feel is angry, not at you, but at the person who made you like this." I said softly leaning down to press my lips to the bruises on his shoulder, lightly pecking each purple fingerprint before making my way down to the ones that spread over his (well built) stomach, causing him to whimper in pleasure above me.

"I don't deserve you Jimin" he said seriously above me during a break in my relentless kisses. I paused the movement of my lips and glanced at his serious expression through my eyelashes. I took his tone as a queue to back away.

"All I've ever been is rude to you. And a burden. I'm so closed off and you are so free spirited. It-" he paused taking in a deep, shuddering breath. "I thought it over Jimin" he looked up at me, a sad, empty look in his eyes that sent panic swirling through me.

"I don't think it's going to work" and with that he stood up, collecting his shirt from the dusty floor, sliding it back on over his head before disappearing through the door and into the world beyond, the world that was starting to look rather bleak.

It's not like we were together or anything but that looked like a breakup and I was not ready to deal with that.

What did this mean? Is he still going to be my friend? Or did he just mean in general? I don't know if I can lose him now. He means to much to me.

I sat there. The abandoned room feeling 10 degrees colder without Kookies warm and bubbling presence. A numbing silence enveloping the haphazard space.

I didn't get up. I didn't move to chase him and ask what he meant by that. I didn't ask for reassurance that everything was the same as it was before. I just sat there. Not reaching to put my shirt on, or lift my hand to trace the spots on my abdomen that still burned with his touch.

I just sat and waited. For what I wasn't sure. Maybe for him to come back, maybe a text or a call, but hours passed with out a sound from the hallway leading to where I was or my phone that was thrown onto the worn rug on the floor in the heat of Kook and I's moment.

What finally broke me out of my numbing reverie was Tae and Hoseok stumbling into the room with dark bottles in their hands, quite obviously drunk, so drunk that they didn't notice me and simply proceeded to make out on one of the homework clad walls. I took it as my signal to leave, so I picked up my shirt and left.

I walked into the darkness. Both literally and figuratively. A darkness that wasn't there when I entered the station, but was more present now than ever. It wasn't painful or hateful. It was numbing.

I've never felt numb before. I had felt love, hate, lust, pain, happiness. And sometimes it hurt, but at least when you hurt you can identify where the pain is, but when your numb you cannot find the spot that needs fixing.

And that is what needs to happen. I feel like a broken record. Skip skip skipping over the same moment, running on repeat in need of a good fix.

But when you are numb you cannot find the parts.

:::

Song rec

Haru Haru by Bigbang