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sasusaku: book of oneshots

Hayran Kurgu

This is a book of oneshots, ranging from zombies apocalypses to Sarada beating the shit out of her father. Enjoy! I do not own Naruto, nor the picture used. I give full credit to the artists!

#funny #humor #love #ooc #sakura #sasuke #sasusaku #âu

Bubblegum Bitch

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by kittywazowski

by kittywazowski

This is based off the song, Bubblegum Bitch, by Marina and the Diamonds. Please don't criticize, it was hard for me to write this... Point of view is third person, mostly about Sakura. 800+ words. Enjoy!

Uh, oh, uh
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, oh, uh

Cue the click-clack sound of 5 inch heels hitting pavement. Cue cat-callers hollering to a 21-year-old pinkette, Sakura Haruno.

Got a figure like a pin-up
Got a figure like a doll
Don't care if you think I'm dumb
I don't care at all

Sakura ignored the calls made by the two men she actually knew. How shameful. One man straight up started ogling at her—with his probable girlfriend right there. Sakura Haruno had the perfect body. (Not even trying to brag, but she knew it too.) Her body was proportionate, with "all the right curves" in "all the right places". Not to mention, her light pink hair and startling green eyes captivated many. Sadly, her personality didn't match her looks. "Bitch," muttered one jealous girlfriend as Sakura passed by in her trench coat and heels.

Why couldn't she go one day without being catcalled or ridiculed? "Takes one to know one!" Sakura responded almost instantly, breaking the sweet girl charade. She smirked as she heard the supposed boyfriend holding his girl back.

Candy bear, sweety pie
I wanna be adored
I'm the girl you'd die for

Despite her terrible attitude, she still attracted many. Nearly everyday she'd receive a few letters professing love to her, usually from Rock Lee, a man she had "saved" after performing an almost impossible surgery on his leg after it was crushed. Sure, she liked the attention, but she didn't want a relationship. Especially after him.

I chew you up and I'll spit you out
'Cause that's what young love is all about

Before him, she was what you would call a good girl. Sakura went around, only dating a few people. That was, until the she got played by the player.

So pull me closer and kiss me hard
I'm gonna pop your bubblegum heart

After that, she didn't even think about who she hooked up with. She moved around to avoid feeling pain.

I'm Miss SugarPink, liquor, liqour lips
Hit me with your sweet love
Steal me with a kiss
I'm Miss SugarPink, liquor, liqour lips
I'm gonna be a bubblegum bitch
I'm gonna be a bubblegum bitch

She took satisfaction in making others hurt the way she did. It was pleasing.

Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, oh, uh

When she wasn't in bed with men, she was drinking. It was another way she didn't have to think about those handsome dark eyes and his black hair.

Queentex, latex, I'm your Wonder-Maid
Life gave me some lemons, so I made some lemonade

After she got played, Sakura tried to benefit from it. She played the innocent act, and many men were suckers and fell for it.

Soda Pop, Soda Pop
Baby, here I come
Straight to number one

Sakura loved breaking people's hearts. It was so funny to see how naive they were to believe she would stay with them.

Oh, dear diary, I met a boy
He made my dull heart light up with joy

Before she had been played, Sakura thought he was the only thing going right in her life.

Oh dear diary, we fell apart
Welcome to the life of Electra Heart

Sakura liked that last part because it reflected her. After her heart was broken, she had a 180° personality switch. She was now a "bad girl".

I think I want your
Your American tan, oh, oh, oh
I think you're gonna
Be my biggest fan, oh, oh, oh

Reminiscing of when he had came back from America in months, she remembered how tan he got. "I'll have another," Sakura called as she slammed the shot glass down.

Sakura heard the door open, and the sound of heavy steps coming in her general direction. The person that entered sat down, waved over for a drink, and turned to face her, resting his face on his hand. She could barely contain the excitement from seeing him after so long. Don't be creepy. Sakura went back to her relaxed posture and turned lazily.

"Hey, Sakura."

"Hey, Sasuke. Long time, no see. Am I right?"