Too Much

Chapter Thirty Four

Eleanor

I didn't notice it at first.

But as time flew by right before us, the fire in his eyes gradually dulled. And it scared me.

It's like something inside him, something that flared with passion and intensity before, was starting to burn out. Like his deep desire was starting to burn out.

And as much as I was afraid to admit maybe we were burning out.

For almost three years we had been together, couple of songs dedicated for me was written, hundreds of phone calls I'd stay up late and wake up early for, several times he'd come home as a surprise, and this was the happiest I had been.

But everytime I watched him hop off the plane, the more hazy his eyes were becoming.

And it's not like he wasn't telling me he loves me. It's not like he wouldn't fondly laugh at me when I did something silly. It's not like he wouldn't kiss my forehead at night when he thought I was sleeping.

It's just his sighs were getting longer, he was pressing his lips in a thin line more, and he was spacing out many times as I could remember.

And I didn't know if it was because he was tired from the tours or if he was just tired in general. Exhausted of it all.

He has a whole world to explore everytime he rides a plane away from me. Thousands of places to go to and millions of faces to know. Maybe he wanted to learn them all or maybe fall inlove with some people every place he went, someone for a short span of time, someone that interested him in a certain place. He's young anyway, he should've been exploring places and knowing people.

But he'd remember me and realize he couldn't.

I wondered if that's what was happening.

If it was us he was tired of.

**

We were cuddled up on our couch one lazy Saturday afternoon, doing nothing but listening to each others breaths when I thought of an idea, "Lou,"

"Yes, babe?"

I looked up to his face from his chest, an excited smile on my face as I thought of spending time with him and having fun, just like before, "Let's go for a drive, just like the old times, yeah? I'm bored and-"

His lips pursed and his brows furrowed making my heart drop. No.

I pulled away from where I was nestled in his arms, "-or maybe not. Right, I'm just gonna-"

He pulled me back to his chest once again, "Don't be cross, love. It's not that I don't want to," he sighed, "It's just-"

I pulled away once again and turned to him to force a smile to appear on my face, "No, no. I get it," I said standing up and walking towards the staircase.

"Eleanor...." he called weakly.

"I'll just be upstairs doing, uh, something," I said while quickly running upstairs and into our room. I flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling thinking maybe I was overthinking it all. Maybe he really just wanted a day in and he was feeling lazy to get out. Maybe I was just too paranoid to lose something that wasn't even fading in the first place.

I turned to my side, facing away from the door when I heard footsteps incoming towards our room less than an hour later. The bed dipped behind me before an arm slipped around my waist and pulled me closer to his chest. He sighed contently into my hair before placing a kiss on top of my head.