| Don't Let Me Be Gone |- Joshler

T W Ø

I woke up with my head pounding and a pool of blood around my arm. I lifted my head weakly, my head pounding harder and harder with every move I made. I was hardly able to remember what I had done last night, everything was blurry and my mind was foggy. The pain in my head and arm was all I could feel pulsating through my bones and my skin. I forced myself to sit up, despite the horrible burning of pain that flowed over me at the sudden movement. I gritted my teeth and stared down at the carpet at last deciding a few moments later to get to my feet.
It was funny...the physical pain I was feeling wasn't even close to the same amount of emotional pain I was going through. So you can imagine how hurt I was. How broken, that's a better word for it.
I shook my head, whisking away any stray tears that had begun to form as I walked out of my room. I didn't know how early it was considering I had left my phone in my room without a second thought. I stumbled weakly down the small flight of stairs and stopped for a moment at the bottom of the stairs to rid myself of the blurriness. Shaking my head more vigorously, I pulled my combat boots on and walked out the front door. It was chilly and obviously, it wasn't even five in the morning yet. The sun hadn't even gotten close to rising yet and the moon was still out, shinning like normal.
I sighed and walked along the sidewalk, my hands inside my pockets and my hood over my head. I walked slowly, keeping my tired eyes on the ground not daring to even look up for anything.
Until...I collided head on with someone.
I feel backwards and gasped, hitting the ground hard.
"Oh! Oh my god, I'm so sorry..." I shook my head and looked up at the person I collided with. He had dark chocolate brown eyes, tanish skin and bright sky blue hair.
"Uhm..." I choked out, feeling awkward.
He stuck a hand out. "Here, let me help you up."
I gave him another quick glance before grabbing his hand and pulled myself up from the cold ground.
"Th-thanks..." I whispered and looked down sheepishly. This is why I didn't talk to anyone besides my family.
He rested a hand on my shoulder and I looked up quickly. "Sort about that. I'm Josh, by the way."
I half-smiled at him. "I'm...uhm...Tyler."
Josh gave me a small smile. "Nice to meet you uhm Tyler." He chuckled. "Sorry about running into you."
I shook my head at him. "Don't worry about it Josh, I should have been looking where I was going." I started walking off.
"Tyler! Wait!" He ran after me and I cursed quietly under my breath.
"What?" I snapped at him, spinning around to face the blue haired boy.
"I...erm...don't think you should be out alone this early." Josh said, looking at me with...fear? Was that fear in his eyes?
"Is that just an excuse to become my 'friend'?" I snapped again.
The idea of friends was stupid. People to talk to? That didn't appeal to me, people just always seemed to mess things up when they were needed to most to fix something. But people do the exact opposite, all we do is break each other down until we are nothing.
Josh laughed weakly. "Yeah...it might be."
I snorted and shook my head. "I don't make friends with people."
Josh huffed impatiently. "C'mon don't you think it would be fun to have a friend?  Someone to talk to?"
Yeah, someone to talk to just what I need. Someone to get close to and then have torn straight from my hands. I thought bleakly.
"Sure, whatever. Just don't get on my nerves." I almost whispered to Josh. I could feel it, the feeling of all my pain pushing its way to the surface, wanting to tear out of me and destroy anything I had left.
"Thank you, Tyler." Josh smiled at me but I simply kept my head hung low. "Hey? What's wrong?"
"Oh..." I can't take this anymore... "It's nothing, I'm just tired."
Josh smiled at me. "Oh okay, yeah that makes sense. It is 4 in the morning after all."
I nodded and pulled my hood off my head, running a hand through my hair to make it look somewhat less messy. My hair was a fluffy brown and in all honesty, I hated how long it was.
I sighed. "So...uhm Josh..." I said awkwardly, shaking my head. "What's your uhm...favorite color?"
"Oooh gonna start prying me with the deep questions aren't you?" Josh laughed and I laughed a bit too. "It's blue. That's why I died my hair blue. What about you?"
"Me? Oh...uhm...I dunno there's too many to choose from." I stated simply, looking over at Josh.
Josh nodded and smiled at me. "That's true. How old are you?"
"Oh I'm sixteen." I said, immediately feeling more awkward around this strange boy.
Josh nodded again. "I'm 16 too." He looked down for a moment before looking back at me. "So...erm...why were you out so early Tyler?"
"Eh...I just felt like going for a walk, ya know, to clear my thoughts." I said, sounding more bleak than I had intended. But I guess that I just sounded bleak even when I didn't mean it. That was just me, I guess.
"Yeah, I totally understand that. I do that all the time." Josh smiled at me again.
What's up with this kid and smiling?!? Doesn't he see? Can't he see past my mask? I thought angrily. Maybe he can't. He is probably just like everyone else.
I sighed and shook my head, tears pounding at the backs of my eyes. "Well...uhm...Josh don't you have somewhere to be? I'm sure you can hang around me all day."
He sighed. "Yeah...well uhm nice seeing you." He started walking off but stopped quickly and turned back around. "May I see your arm?"
My heart sunk. "Uhm...why?"
"Well I don't have paper and I kind of want to be your friend." He said laughing slightly.
Oh. He was just trying to give me his phone number. "Oh okay sure." I pulled up the sleeve on my left arm, which luckily for me didn't have any cuts on it. "There."
He smiled and pulled out his pen and started writing. "Text me sometimes okay?"
I nodded and pulled my arm away as he finished. "Will do." He smiled at me one last time before walking off and I walked off tox in the opposite direction of course.
He doesn't see the pain, i've made it so obvious for everyone to see and yet, no one sees. Then, the tears bursted out and it all started hurting again. Or maybe...they just dont care.

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Okay I just wanted to add real quick that I will posted once or twice daily if I can. Also thank you so much for the positive feedback and all the views overnight!
Love you guys! Stay street and stay alive!