| Don't Let Me Be Gone |- Joshler

F I F T E E N

It was all black and silent around me.
Had I succeeded?
I didn't know. It all just felt so quiet.
Until I heard sobbing.
I couldn't open my eyes or move, but I could hear him sobbing and I could feel his grip awfully tight on my hand.
"T-T-T-Tyler..." I could hear Josh trying to choke out words. "G-get u-u-up..."
I couldn't move. I had to show him somehow I was alive.
"J-Josh..." I said weakly, my voice fading away.
"Tyler..." He gently pulled me closer, holding me close to his chest. I could feel his tears falling onto my head. "Stay alive, please don't die Tyler please."
"I c-can't..." I choked out, feeling myself start to drift off.
I couldn't hear the next thing he said. I could feel him shaking me, I knew he was trying to get me to stay awake.
My throat burned, my head hurt and I was too weak to move.
My eyes fluttered closed and open again. I wanted to sleep, I wanted nothing more than sleep.
A pair of lips met mine.
I knew it was Josh.
I knew he was trying to get me to move and kiss back, but I couldn't.
He pulled away. "Please Tyler..."
Then it all went black.

---

The cold night air floated around us.
Josh still hadn't left me. My eyes where closed but I could hear everything he was say.
Not saying but rather, singing.
"Won't you stay alive? I'll take you on a ride, I will make you believe you are lovely."
His voice so beautiful, almost angelic.
I wanted to reach up and hug him and tell him I was alive, that I was okay. But I couldn't move.
"J-J-Josh..." I choked out, fluttering my eyes open just as I had before.
He looked down at me, his eyes sparkling with tears. "S-stay alive..."
I didn't answer. Josh closed his eyes and stood up.
He's giving up on me. I thought darkly, watching him through squinted eyes.
Josh bent down and lifted me up carefully on his arms. "I'm not leaving you here to die." He held me close, one arm hooked under my back and the other hooked under my knees. I looked up at him, his face was filled with fear.
I knew he was scared that I could die.
And I was too.
He ran through the darkening forest, holding me tightly and refusing to let despite my protests.
"L-leave m-me h-here..." I cried at him, starting to thrash my arms.
"No." He said simply, starting to slow down as we reached the sidewalk.
"L-let me d-die!" I yelled, starting to cry again.
"Pl-please...Josh please..." I cried, almost screaming.
"No!" He yelled, stopping and looking down at me. "I'm not letting you die here! I'm not letting you die ever!"
I closed my eyes, still crying. "I c-can't stay h-here anymore..."
"Yes you can." He said sternly. "You have a purpose. You have me to run to when things get dark, when you want to hurt yourself. You aren't alone, Ty, You aren't alone."
I shook my head out and opened my eyes. "Y-you don't u-understand..."
"No Ty, I don't." He whispered. "But I know enough to see that you need me by your side. I don't understand why you're like this. But I know that if I don't help, I'll lose the one person I love more than anyone else."
I shook my head out again, but didn't answer him. He started walking again and stopped when we reached his house.
"I can't stay here." I whispered weakly.
"Yes, you can." Josh said, walking to his porch and helping me sit up on the steps. "I'm not letting you go home after what happened."
I rolled my eyes, leaning back against the railing. "It's not like I'm going to try again."
"Ty, c'mon we both know you'll try again and I won't be there to save you." Josh said softly.
"I don't want to be saved." I whispered under my breath, being careful so Josh wouldn't hear.
"Lets get you inside." He said, extending out his hand for me to grab.
I grabbed his hand and got shakily to my feet. He guided me inside the oddly quiet house.
"They probably aren't home." Josh said, helping me to get to his room.
"I shouldn't be here after what happened." Tyler said bleakly, sitting down on the bed. "They obviously hate me."
"Well, they can go suck a fat dick." Josh laughed and I couldn't help but crack a small smile.
"Thats great." I said shaking my head and laying back on the bed, exhausted.
"I'll leave you here to sleep." Josh whispered to me, kissing my forehead. "Love you."
"Love you too." I whispered as he walked out of the room and shut the door behind him.
I didn't want to sleep.
I hated sleep.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket, deciding to text Maddi.
I don't understand why you hate me all of a sudden.
I wanted to throw my phone against a wall. The only family member I had that actually gave a shit hated me now.
I don't understand why you're so ignorant.
I closed my eyes, huffing angrily.
You don't understand what I go through, Maddi. You've never understood what it's like to have schizophrenia.
I wanted to scream so loud and just run away from everything attacking me.
No I never have. And I guess I'll never understand a freak like you.
It stung like fire what she called me. My head started pounding and everything began going blurry.
"No..." I choked out. "J-Josh!" I yelled and he came running into the room.
He saw me, pale and dizzy. "Tyler!"
He surged forward, pulling me into his strong arms.
It all went black.

---

Woopie doopie!
This fic is getting sadder and sadder by the chapter oh shit 😂
Should I stop putting these A/N type things at the end of each chapter? Let me know :)
Hope you all like the fic!