| Don't Let Me Be Gone |- Joshler

F Ø U R T E E N

"Tyler?"
I wearily blinked my eyes open, looking up to see Maddi standing above me. She looked worried.
"Maddi...?" I croaked out weakly, my eyes weak from the bright noon sun.
"I'm here to get you." She helped me stand and walked to the car.
Once we got inside the car, I sighed. "Thank you." Maddi nodded and started the car. "Maddi, do you have any idea why mom wouldn't pick me up?"
"I don't." Maddi shook her head. "I can't believe she did that to you."
"Neither can I." I whispered, staring out the window. "Maddi?"
"Hmm?" She hummed, turning a corner.
"I uhm..." I sighed. "I need to tell you something."
"What is it, Ty?" She said soothingly, focused on driving.
"I...I..." I breathed deeply, closing my eyes. "I'm g-gay a-and J-Josh is m-my b-boyfriend..."
Maddi pulled to the side of the road.
I was expecting her to tell me to get out of the car but instead, she leaned over and hugged me. "Tyler...I'm so happy you told me."
"I didn't think you'd accept me." I whispered, melting into her tight embrace.
"Why wouldn't I?" She smiled and whispered again.
"Please don't tell mom." I said, holding back my tears.
"I won't Tyler. I won't." Maddi said, letting go of me and driving once again.
I felt so relieved.
At least I had Josh and Maddi.
We arrived home a few minutes later, pulling into the big brown house's driveway.
My hands started shaking as I climbed out of the car and began walking towards the front door.
What is she going to say to me? I thought fearfully, my hand shakily turning the doorknob and stepping inside.
"Tyler?" I recognized the shrill voice of my mom.
"Hey, mom." I said quietly, shutting the door once Maddi came inside.
"What are you doing here?" She snapped. "Maddi, why did you get him? I told you not to!"
"We can't just leave him out there to die." Maddi said. "Ty-"
I didn't hear the rest because I ran too my room, a huge mess of tears.
"I'm fucking done!" I screamed then slammed my door shut.
"Tyler!" I heard Maddi yell, knocking on my door.
"G-go aw-away!" I yelled shakily, tears still flying down my face.
"Open the door, please." Maddi said, quieting down her voice.
"No..." I choked out, my eyes burning from the constant flow of tears.
"Tyler." She whispered, tapping on the door again. "Let me in. It'll be okay."
I got up hesitantly and opened the door. "W-what...?"
She walked in and hugged me tightly. "Don't worry about mom."
"Why shouldn't I?" I asked, breaking free from the hug. "She doesn't care and she never will."
"She does care." Maddi said bleakly.
"She doesn't." I hissed walking over to my bed and sitting down.
Maddi sighed resting a hand on my knee."Listen Tyler, I know. Nothing has been the same since-"
"Since I killed mom." I finished, looking down and shaking my head.
"You didn't kill her." Maddi said sternly.
"I did. I caused the fucking fire that killed her and dad!" I yelled, standing up. "None of this would have happened if I wasn't so fucking dumb!"
"Tyler!" Maddi yelled but I cut her off.
"No! Don't try to convince me that it wasn't my fault!" I yelled. "Get out! Leave me alone!"
Maddi shook her head. "All those times I saved your ass and you can't even listen to me." She said and stormed out.
And once again, I was pushing everyone away. Once again I was making everyone hate me and letting everyone fall victim to my stupidity.
I screamed and slammed my door, pounding my fists on the wall. "I'm so fucking stupid!"
More tears ran down my face, stinging my cheeks.
I couldn't do this anymore.
I was so fucking done.
So fucking done.
I got to my feet, rummaging through my closet and grabbing my rope. I sighed and clambered out of my window, keeping the rope gripped tightly in my hand.
No second thoughts.
This was it.
No more suffering, no more hurting other people.
No more anything.
I ran through the forest, the familiar sound of crunching leaves bring back memories of the day I had tried to do this.
This time nothing would stop me, no one would even know I was gone.
I climbed a tree deep within the forest, hesitating.
I can't do this. I thought closing my eyes. I can't do this to everyone.
I shook my head out. Everyone would be better off without me anyways. No one would care.
The pain was eating me alive, taking apart what I believed and shattering what things I had left. I couldn't take it.
But yet, I didn't move. I was too scared. Was it really smart to do this? Was it worth it?
My mind was screaming yes.
I listened to my mind.
I shook my head out one last time, wrapping the rope around the tree and then around my neck exactly as I had done the night before I met Josh.
Josh.
I screamed and shook my head out again.
"Tyler!" Josh's voice rang in my ears.
"What the fuck do you want!?" I yelled at him, seeing him standing below me.
"Don't! Please! I love you!" He yelled. I could see tears forming in his soft brown eyes.
"Too late." I whispered and slid off the tree.
Slipped out of the rope...
And fell to the forest floor.

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Hope you guys enjoyed!
Thanks for reading!
<3
I'm sure there's like ten typos but idc so yeah