| Don't Let Me Be Gone |- Joshler

T E N

Sirens wailed and people around me cried.
What were they crying for? I'm alive aren't I? I lived right?
I weakly opened my eyes looking around and realizing I was inside an ambulance.
"Tyler!"
I looked over and saw Maddi and my mom, a mess of tears.
"M-Maddi..." I choked out, feeling my own tears start to run down my cheeks.
"Tyler...I'm so sorry I wasn't there to stop you..." Maddi said, hugging me tightly.
"D-don't be s-s-sorry..." I said, still crying. Then I remembered something. "Maddi?"
"Hmm?" She responded.
"C-can you get J-Josh, h-he's my fr-friend, p-please?" I said still sounding weak.
Maddi let me go. "Does he have bright blue hair?" For some reason, the edges of her mouth pointed upward in a small smile.
"Y-yeah." I said simply.
Maddi smiled and walked out of the area for a moment before returning with the blue haired boy.
"Josh...!" I almost yelled.
Josh rushed forward and hugged me tightly. I could hear tiny sobs coming from him as he spoke. "Tyler, d-don't e-ever tr-try s-something like that a-again."
I buried my head into his shoulder and whispered to him. "I can't promise you anything."
"I know you can't." Josh whispered back, sadness filling his gentle voice. "But you can at least try, Tyler. For me, please."
I could hear them again, the horrible fucking voices. My tears started coming out faster along with choked sobs and cries of agony.
Josh held me tightly in his arms, crying along with me.
I'm hurting him. I thought bleakly, feeling my stomach drop. What have I done...
The ambulance came to a stop and they took me out of the vehicle. Josh, Maddi and my mom ran at my side as they rushed me into the hospital.
My mind was racing. I couldn't stop crying, I couldn't stop myself from thinking about how much I was hurting Josh.
I was falling for him.
I was falling in love with Josh and I couldn't stop it.
Josh held my hand as we entered a hospital room, only letting go of my hand to let the doctors hook several machines up to me.
Once the doctors left for a moment, everyone sat down and Josh intertwined our fingers again. It made me feel somewhat calmer. Somewhat better about everything.
"Tyler." I heard my mom say, sounding a little bit stern.
I looked over at her. "Y-Yeah?"
"What were you thinking when you took those pills?" She asked, raising her voice.
"M-mom, I didn't mean to do it! I was too tired to notice how many I had took, I'm sorry!" I cried at her, tears flying down on my face.
My mom just shook her head. "We'll be back later." She motioned to Maddi. "C'mon let's go home."
They both started to walk out and Maddi waved goodbye.
"Tyler?" Josh said as they left, leaning over me slightly to wipe away my tears.
"What..?" I said, sniffling.
"Whats the real reason you took those pills?" Josh almost whispered, sitting back in his chair. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to tell him. Josh sighed impatiently. "Tyler c'mon. I need to know so I can help."
"I..." I took a deep breath. "I took them because....I'm afraid that...I'm falling in love with you and Josh, I...I made a promise with myself. I promised...I promised I wouldn't get close to anyone anymore. And I knew I was getting close to you and I thought I had to stop myself..." I was crying again by this point. I just spilled it all out on the floor for Josh to judge and hate me for it.
Josh stayed silent for a moment, obviously letting what I said sink in. "Tyler...I..." He closed his eyes.
"Don't talk. I know you hate me now." I said bleakly, still crying.
"No, no! Tyler I don't hate you I promise." Josh said, intertwining our fingers again.
"How couldn't you hate me? I'm just a fuck up that's falling for a boy I'll never have." I choked out, my own words cutting into me like knives.
"Tyler..." Josh whispered. Pain shown in his light brown eyes. "Don't beat yourself up over that okay?"
"Why shouldn't I? It's all true." I hissed, crying harder.
Josh sighed and closed his eyes. "Tyler I...I..." He stopped and breathed deeply for a moment. "Tyler I love you. I'm falling for you too. I fucking love you."
My breath hitched. No, no, no, no. This can't be happening.
Then I said something I thought i would never say in my entire life. "J-Josh... I love you too..."
Josh closed his eyes and squeezed my hand. "I'm sorry for not telling you that before this happen-"
I cut him off as I pressed my cold lips to his, Josh immediately melting into the gentle kiss.
I had no idea what I was doing, but I didn't care. I was too lost in the moment to even care if I was doing something wrong and it seemed as if Josh was too.
I never wanted that moment to end but we both eventually pulled back for air.
Josh kept our foreheads pressed together, a small smile on his face. "You didn't have any idea as to what you were doing did you?"
I giggled and shook my head. "Nope I didn't."
"Neither did I." Josh laughed.
I wanted us to stay like this forever. I wanted time to stop so I wouldn't have to leave this moment.
For the first time in my life, I was happy.