Calum: “I hate you,” You mumbled out. Even with your eyes closed you knew that Calum was staring at you in fear. “Y/N?” He asked as he reached out to touch your arm. Once you felt his hand you backed away, “Don’t touch me!” “Y/N, I want to help. Please. I know you don’t hate me.” “I hate everyone,” You mumbled. “Babe, please. Something is making you sad and I don’t care what it is. You don’t have to tell you. I just want to make you feel better. What will do that?” He asked. You heard the concern flowing through his voice. Well, you’d heard it before, but now that you were having a break down he couldn’t hold it back anymore. Truth is, for weeks you’ve been trudging along life, not really giving a care for anything or anyone around you. There were few people that you didn’t hate at this point, Calum being one of them. But you couldn’t shake it from your brain. You wanted to be alone, or with someone you love, or alone. You never understood the anguish your brain went through. Shouldn’t you though? It’s your brain; and, if you can’t understand what makes Calum so sure he can. You opened your eyes, tired of the darkness that had built up. I hate the dark you thought. You looked up the slightest to see Calum. He stared at you. He looked so strong, but fragile at the same time. It looked like he was brave, but one movement would break him and he’d crawl away. “Please, Y/N,” he repeated. It seemed likes that all he could say. That so much was going on his brain could only think of a few words. He hoped they’d work, even if they might not have the first time. You gave him a weak smiled, “Hi Cal,” You said. What were you supposed to say? You wanted him to know that you loved him, but the words wouldn’t come out. If he could help you, you wouldn’t understand and he would get frustrated. Then, all would be lost. I just have to hold onto this moment for as long as I can you thought. You wanted to say the words out loud, but you feared Calum hearing you. “I want to help,” Calum explained. You kept looking at him, “I don’t know how you can,” You responded after some time. Calum thought, he looked you I the eye and though. You didn’t, you didn’t want to. You wanted your thoughts gone. “I know how we can start,” he finally said. He held your hand and led you to the bedroom. He tucked you under that blankets and then got in with you. “Tonight, nothing will harm you. You have me, I have you. I promise,” He explained. Those words soothed you. He really did help because that night, you fell asleep fast, no nightmares, nothing, just the warmth from Calum.
Luke: Luke smirked at you again and you responded by sticking your tongue out. Luke’s smirk turned into a beautiful smile and you couldn’t help, but copy it. It was pretty normal for the both of you to act this way. Somehow, the two of you adapted to quite a weird relationship. You guys would pull pranks on each other and flirt, but constantly tease each other as well. Almost every day the same thing would come out of your mouth, “I hate you.” It was something the both of you would say. To you, it was like telling Luke you loved him without actually spilling the beans, because though you two seemed like a couple, you weren’t. Based on your thoughts you always made sure one thing was always going on: You two could never ever be left alone together. That would cause you chaos; you wouldn’t know what to do. You’d stare into his blue eyes and he would stare at you awkwardly. But somehow you could easily talk to him when others were around. “Y/N and Luke, will the both of you stop flirting, we have a Twitcam going!” Ashton groaned. The both of you blushed and when Ashton turned back at you, you glared at him. He knew you like Luke, almost everyone did, but he had to go around hinting it. “Shut up, Ash, leave the two love birds alone,” Michael joked. You blushed again, not daring to Luke if Luke was or not. “Can you guys focus?” Calum asked, “Look, we’re being asked questions. I’ll even read one, okay: Are Luke and Y/N dating yet?” Ashton and Michael laughed as Calum realized what he just read, confusion covering his face. Luke awkwardly laughed and looked at your face. God, it must look like a tomato you thought. “We’re not dating,” Luke answered, “I’m going to go to the bathroom, pardon me.” You looked at Luke as he left and he made eye contact with you. You could easily tell that you were supposed to follow him, but that would mean the two of you would be alone. Finally, you mumbled an excuse and left a minute after Luke. Once you closed the door you heard a spray and all of the sudden silly string was covering you. “Luke,” You groaned as you turned to face him, “Ugh, I hate you!” Luke laughed, “No you don’t, you love me.” You stared at him, “Oh really?” He nodded, “Yup, Ash told me.” “What!” Luke laughed again, he laughed his beautiful laugh, “Don’t worry, I feel the same way.” As you mumbled about what you were going to do to Ashton you stopped mid-sentence, “Wait, really?” Luke nodded as he kissed you on the cheek, “And this took a lot of nerve for me so I hope your happy,” He joked. You smiled, “I am.”
Michael: “Y/N, come on, hang out with me!” Michael groaned as he tugged on your arm. You laughed, “I can’t Michael, I really have to practice.” He sighed and crossed his arms as you got out your clarinet (pretend). Once your reed was wet and your clarinet was put together you looked over at Michael and smiled. “You know I’m just going to distract you, right?” He asked. You laughed, “I’m not very easily distracted.” Michael smirked at your comment, “Wanna bet?” You laughed and turned to the music laid out in front of you. Michael jumped from his seat as you began playing, your fingers easily knowing to go up or down, switching perfectly to the notes. Michael went behind you and bent a little so he could be the same height as your sitting body. His heated breathe travelled down to your ear and gently kissed it, continuing until you stopped playing. He smiled at you, “I told you I’d distract you.” You scowled at him jokingly, “I hate you.” He smiled, “You love me.” You shook your head slightly, “I hate you,” You corrected. Suddenly, his smile faded and what was left was a concerned boy, “Do you love me? He asked. You looked into his eyes and nodded, realizing that you really meant a lot to him. You smiled and kissed you on the lips. Once he pulled away he mumbled, “Good, because I love you too.” Again, he kissed you showing you that his actions followed his words. You pulled away from him after a while, “I love you, Mikey, but I do have to practice.” He smiled at you, “You’re playing is beautiful.” “Thank you,” You responded. He pecked you lips before going back into his seat and letting you continue. You soaked your reed again and started the song over. Your fingers continued moving up and down, placing themselves as if they had a mind of their own. Every time a new note would come your brain would name it, eighth note, C. You imagined the rest of you band playing their parts, trumpets, flutes, tubas, all of them. Every part was in your head and somehow you continued playing yours, never messing up. The song picked up speed and the notes became more of a fan fair. You played louder because clarinets were the chorus along with trumpets. The song repeated a few places and continued on. It placed itself in your brain and at this point you knew you’d be whistling it later. Once you finished you heard a clapping, bringing you back into reality. “Beautiful, “Michael said as he pecked you in the lips again. “Thanks,” You said, still out of breath. He sat down next to you, I love you, and your playing.” This time, you kissed him. Continuing the kiss, you placed your clarinet on a stand and grabbed Michael’s hand. “Come with me,” You said, watching as he smiled at you.
Ashton: “You know what, Ashton? I hate you,” You spat at him. He looked at you for a second and then asked, “Why?” “Why? You want to know why? Well, it might be because you barely talk to me, and you tease me even though I’ve told you to stop. Also, you don’t clean up after any mess you make!” You yelled at him. You didn’t wait for him to respond until you grabbed your purse. Ashton grabbed your arm as you tried to walk out. “What?” You growled. “I’ll change,” He said. It was only two words, but you could hear the meaning in them. Though, some part of you knew that you had to do something dramatic to get it across his thick skull. “I need to be alone,” You explained. He let go of you and you finally got to the door. Before closing it you told him something to give him a little hope, “I might be back.” The door slammed and you didn’t dare look back. You didn’t know what your last words left Ashton thinking, all you knew was that you had to be isolated, somewhere comfortable. After weighing out all your options you realized that going to a hotel was the only logical option, even if it would cost a bit. You walked all the way to a local hotel ordered a room. It was ordinary and simple, but that’s what you wanted. Lying down on the bed you looked at your phone. Phone calls were empty, but you did have a single text message, it read: I understand you want to be alone and that you may or may not come back, but if you do I want you to know I’ll change. You don’t know what you have until you don’t have it, right? I promise, Y/N. But I would understand if you leave me, just make sure to tell me once you’ve decided. You smiled, happy for the message as well as the fact that he made sure to spell everything right. You laid down your phone on the nightstand and decided to take a mid-day nap, getting your mind off things. After two days at the hotel you finally sorted your brain, well, at least you hoped. You were going back to Ash, you always were. You used your key and opened the door to see the house sparkling. You smiled, knowing the meaning for it. On the dining room table were some beautiful flowers with a note explaining the meaning of everything. You walked into where you knew Ash would be, in bed, hoping that the smell of you wouldn’t fade. He wasn’t facing you when you walked in, so you called his name, “Ashton?” You turned and saw you, jumping up quickly and hugging you. “I love you, I love you, I’m sorry, are you back for good?” He asked. “Yeah,” You said, “I always was, I just needed you to realize something.” “I promise you I have,” he commented, still hugging your body. “I know you have, I love you too.”
