Holding You (BoyxBoy)

Thinking Chapter .1

Thinking Chapter .1

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*Jordan POV* (boy)

*1st Diary entry*

The dark days I remember them , all my insecurities would eat me alive , hospital everyday doctors telling me that I would get through everything that I wouldn't be sick anymore , that chemo would help fight of the disease. I built my wall so high and so strong , I didn't want to talk to anybody at school not even the people that would worry about me. March 27 a day before my birthday thats when it went away thats what the doctors said they said that it was a "miracle". I got better my family got better , I was great-full , now a year later I don't want to live and I feel like I didn't deserve such a "miracle". I cry myself to sleep everyday thinking if am a survivor why cant I survive through this life am not the usual "Teenager" am fifteen and am in love or at least I think its love I feel something so strong for this person that it hurts me , its hurts me Because all never have a chance with him he's beautiful , perfect and gorgeous. Yes am gay and half of my years before I got the news I had cancer I thought it was a phase , I new I was different than the other boys I really didn't pay attention to them calling me names I mean it hurt and it still hurts me but I've learned to ignore it.

"JORDAN" ! I heard my mom screaming from downstairs , *stops writing in diary* I close my diary and lock it then I hide it were I usually hide it under my bed in a old cardboard box where I hide all my pictures old photo albums and other unimportant things.

I reluctantly make my way downstairs where all my 3 annoying siblings are , Jake , Julianne and Jessie there sitting on the table eating , mash with gravy & fried chicken with corn on the cob.

"Mom am not hungry" I tell her while she look straight into my eyes , " Whats wrong with you Jordan , please tell me" she says , " Mom am not hungry , my tummy doesn't want food" she looks at me for a minute she scrunges her eyes " If you say so Jordan , remember when your father comes from work He's like a hibernated bear" she gives me a smirk and I nod and go upstairs.

I make my way to my room , where I hear the familiar little bell which means I have a notification on my phone I close the door and grab my phone and check my messages.

*Jennifer*

To Jordan : Hey Ghost 😑 thought you were gonna text me later.

*Jordan*

To Jennifer : Sorry i got caught up on something whats up ?

*Jennifer*

To Jordan : well abby's is having a party next friday are you going?

*Jordan*

To Jennifer : Jeni am not going to abby's party I don't want to see her and Liam together probs making out in the corner , I dont wanna see him with her all break down .

*Jennifer*

To Jordan : oh but thats why your going with me to make sure they aren't together 😏 plus to see if he likes you!

*Jordan*

To Jennifer : no he doesn't like me why would he like me jeni he has a gf am not gonna come between them as much as I wanna pull that blond weave of her hair he probs think like all the other people that am a faggot an blah blah blah .

*Jennifer*

To Jordan : Well then can I come over and try to convince you bc believe me I will .

*Jordan*

To Jennifer : Sure you know my mom doesn't mind and bring a movie bc its a Saturday and am so freaking bored. ✋😑

*Jennifer*

To Jordan : Fine , see u in 10.

**** End of Conversation ****

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That was Chapter 1 Thank you for reading guys. I know Jordan Has a Very bad Past but will he be able to forget it and move on ?

Keep reading to find out and ,

Thank you . :) also please share please . Thank u Sorry for it being such a small chapter They get bigger as the story evolves.

Love Yall

-Noodles