We Shall Heal

Tuesday August 1st.

Dear Zoe,

I'm so tired right now. But I have to write this because tomorrow I'll be too tired to do it then I'll forget.

We had the march today morning and we walked from my school to the city center and around the mayor's office all the way back. I was a little weak since I haven't been eating that well ever since I left the hospital, but I tried my best and held up this gigantic sign which I hand-wrote; Zoe, you are beautiful!

There was a huge turn up. More people than I expected and so many, like me, carrying signs with a message for a specific soul in heaven. This couple, whose sign read: We accept you, told me that their son committed suicide last year. He was gay. They didn't accept him. He was bullied at school. And so feeling worthless he decided to take his own life. I heard so many similar stories. Kids taking their lives because they couldn't find their place in this world. There were a lot of tears. To me it felt different because I was also suicidal. It was like witnessing your own funeral and I thought to myself if I had succeeded that day, would anyone come in my honor? Would they carry a sign for me? What would it say?

I realized I hadn't lived my life to the fullest. I hadn't impacted much change in the society. Neither had most of these kids. I still had a lot to live for. I still had a future. I still have a chance. But you don't dear Zoe. So I'll live my life for you and me. For us both.

The march was tiring. Lasted a long long time and I wasn't feeling too strong but I didn't leave until the end. I stayed to the last stop. We were raising money to spread awareness on suicide and acceptance of diversity as well as equip schools with counsellors. I don't think this will solve the problem, but it's the thought that counts, right?

You are beautiful Zoe. I love you.