Thursday October 19th.

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Dear dad,

I've pulled out from a total of 6 races and coach is getting apprehensive with me. So far I've been running on the sympathy 'oh she just lost her dad' card, but I can see his patience with me is running thin. To be honest I feel pressured. Tomorrow is the last race this year. I don't want to let coach down or you for the matter of fact. But I'm scared, what if I'm not as good as I used to be. What if I don't win, then all my effort would go for nothing and I would've let everyone down. I'm so scared. My tolerance is good but two years is a long time. Maybe I should just quit and pull out once and for all, I've already let you down so far, why bother with this at all?

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