At My Worst ( a Nicholas Matthews story)

Everyone's Out To Get Me

"You ready?" Lloyd asked.

"Yeah," I responded, "let's go" 

I stepped in to our tour bus. I started putting my stuff where I always out them while on tour. And so did everyone else. We all called what bunk we wanted. I got stuck under Dan again, but it's okay. 

Our manager and our merch guy came on the bus as well. They did the same thing as my band mates and I did a few minutes ago. Everyone is ready. I guess we can leave Layton now.

A few minutes later, the driver took off. I stayed in my bunk for the first 2 hours of the drive. I tried sleeping, but that didn't work. I was on Twitter for a while, but I got bored. I played a game on my phone, but I quickly became frustrated and gave up on it. I tried thinking of lyrics for our upcoming album that we have to record after this tour, but I'm stumped.

I once again tried falling asleep out of boredom. My eye lids became heavy and I felt myself start to fade in to sleep. But of course someone yanked the bunk curtain open.

"HERE'S JOHNNY!" screamed Johnny in a low growl. I jumped up, yelling with some terror in my voice, then hit my head in the roof of my bunk. 

"Ow. You dick! What's wrong with you?" I complained. He cracked up at my annoyance, making him snort.

"Love you."

I stuck my middle finger up at him then pushed him out of the way to get out of the confined space. 

I sat by Lloyd who was also snickering at the fact that I had just yelled like a little girl.

"I hate all of you," I laughed.

An few hours later we arrived to our destination. We got off the bus and intimately heard a chorus of high pitched screams. We walked past the line, as they called out our names. Mostly mine and Johnny's though. Then the occasional scream of someone who thought I was Joel...

I don't get it; I am not more likable than the rest of the band. It's probably that lead singer stereotype thing. 

The guys and I set up our stage. All the amps, our background, Dan's drum set. Then headed to the back of the venue and set up our merchandise table with all our t-shirts, posters, and bracelets. To be honest, all of it is over priced, but I have no control over it.

Finally, it was time. 

"I can't do this..." I mumbled, 5 minutes before our entrance.

"What do you mean?" Dan asked.

"I can't go up there..."

"But you've done it before," he argued, "several times."

"Yeah, but I was usually drunk," I stated.

"Fair point."

"Plus, it's been some time. What if they don't want me anymore? What if they all like Joel better?" I questioned.

"Hey, we've gotten spam from fans saying they wanted you back, so I'm sure many of them will be happy to see you up there."

"I don't know, Dan."

"C'mon you'll be okay," he said, optimistically. "Right, guys?"

"What?" Lloyd asked, looking up from his phone.

"Nick will be okay."

"Oh yeah... What's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't feel like I'm gonna do well up there. I'm gonna have a panic attack!" I shouted, as I began hyperventilating.

"Hey hey hey. Don't worry, calm down Nicholas," Lloyd said, as he over to me. "Breathe, don't panic, we have 2 minutes, and we can't back out."

I took a deep breath in. Then exhaled. "I can't do this."

"Yes you can, you dip shit" Johnny shouted from across the room. 

My stomach twisted and turned. I'm gonna puke. 

"Do you remember the first time we had to preform on tour? You know our very first show?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah.."

"You kept saying you couldn't do it. You almost threw up on us. And had a anxiety attack ten minutes before we had to go on," he reminded me.

"Yes..."

"Then you went up on stage and just let go. You introduced us and pumped up the crowd. Then we played a perfect show. Afterwards you were happy as hell, and actually proud of yourself."

"Yes.. but there wasn't someone who had taken my spot for about a year then," I argued.

"Joel doesn't matter!" everyone yelled.

"We have to go out now," Lloyd told us, after turning on his phone.

"No.. No please give me more time. I can't fucking breathe!" I screeched. 

"Oh, well." Johnny grabbed me by my arm and started pulling me out the door. 

"Wait!" I screamed, grabbing on to the door frame. I was actually having breathing issues.

"Nick, we can't wait. I know you're scared but like the meaning of our band name, sometimes you have  to get scared to succeed," Lloyd explained. "So get up there before we have to drag you there!"

I let go and started walking to the stage. 

We all ran up, the audience screaming and shouting our names and the band name. I picked up the mic.

"Hello every one! We are GET SCARED! How are you guys!" 

The crowd screeched as a reply. 

"What? I can't hear you!" I yelled, "Are you guys excited?!"

Again they yelled back.

"You guys better go fucking nuts!" I shouted,"our first song is called VOODOO!!!"

The guys began playing the opening, and that's when I knew that everything was finally over. The anxiety and pain would no longer be my issue. I knew that I wasn't alone, that I was opening my eye to a new life

(A/N I'm done. I finished the story in less than a year! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA This story is cringey as a hell if you made this far, thank you for sticking with me. It means a lot actually. I might add something like things I changed or why somethings happened idk.. But thanks for reading this really pathetic story lol.. If you want more from me I have another book/fanfic so you can check that out if you want)