At My Worst ( a Nicholas Matthews story)

I'm afraid.

Christmas has arrived. It's snowing outside, pretty badly actually. It's been like this since last night, so I made Jessica stay here to make sure nothing bad would happen to her. She slept in Lloyd's bed while Lloyd slept on the couch and i on the floor, wrapped up in several blankets. It's like 7 am, and like a child I got up to wake up Lloyd so we can open presents.

"Lloyd" i called as I shook him.

"What Nick" he responded.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" I shouted.

"You too" he smiled. "Do you want to open your present now?"

"I want you to open yours from me" I corrected.

"Ok" he said, sitting up.

"I'm gonna wake up Jess too" I told him, as I got up from the floor. I headed towards Lloyd's room where Jessica was. I opened the door and ran in. "Jessica it's christmas! Merry Christmas!" I exclaimed and pushed up and down on the mattress.

"Nick, you fucking 5 year old" she joked.

"You're not wrong" I laughed, "c'mon let's open presents."

"Fine" she rolled her eyes as she smiled at me. I kissed her, before she could get up. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into the bed. She kissed me as she ran her hand through my hair.

"Is this my gift?" I asked.

"You bet." She replied "Merry Christmas"

Around 15 minutes later, we came out into the living room.

"I thought you were gonna just wake her up." Lloyd said.

"That was the plan but" i started as he cut me off.

"DID YOU FUCK ON ME BED!?" he questioned.

"NO, no no, t-there was no fucking, just making out with c-clothes fully on... On top of your bed." I explained, hiding behind Jess as she laughed at me.

"That's still weird, I'm not sleeping on that until you wash the sheets" He laughed. He picked up a gift bag and handed it to me.

"Thanks" i said as i took out the tissue paper. I looked in and pulled out a box. "I'm scared." Lloyd began to crack up.

"What is it?" Jess asked.

"Something that better have a gift receipt." i responded. "You walked in to Spencers, to buy me this?"

"Yup!" he laughed, "That's just a gag gift."

"Oh thank god." I said, relieved.

"Here's the real thing" he pulled out a rectangular shaped item, wrapped in wrapping paper with pictures of Santa Claus and snowmen. "I promise you'll like this one... hopefully"

"Ok" I answered suspiciously ripping the paper. It's a black leather notebook with our band logo perfectly painted on it. "This is way better. Thanks Lloyd"

"Open it, read the first page." he told me. I did as told.

"Hey Nick, This took forever to get made so you better be grateful.

So I just wanted to say, I'm glad you have rejoined Get Scared. You are my best friend and always will be. I hope you know that, like the floor, I will always be here for you if you start to fall. I may not always be the best listener, but I will try my best to help if you need me. I don't care if It's 2 am or if i'm with my girlfriend, i will be there to pull you out of your worst. I know this is rough, but you will be ok. I never understood why you stopped venting to me, even though when we were teens you would open up a lot more than recently. But whatever it is I wish that it will all go back to how it was. This is honestly the most mushy, sentimental thing i've ever given you, but I thought you would like it and maybe make you happy and cared for. You can now write down your ideas for songs in a safe pace that won't get ripped apart, or destroyed in any other way. Stay strong, and smoke 'em if you got 'em

-Bradley"

The feels! The Feels are strong!

"Are you crying?" Lloyd questioned.

"No" I replied, "Open mine. It's not as thoughtful and sentimental as yours but i still think you'll like it" I gave him his bags of skittles inside of another bad. He them out.

"Hell yeah!" he cheered as he hugged me. "Thanks, Nick"

"There's a card" I said.

"Oh cool!" he took it out of the bag and began to read it. He took a few minutes to read since it was so long. "And I thought mine was the one with the feels."

I laughed.