At My Worst ( a Nicholas Matthews story)

I'm moving foward

After a few months of working with Lexus, i could say i was actually getting better. I found myself laughing and smiling most of the time. It was all great and everything was seemed to be going to plan. My phone went off in my left pocket. It's Lloyd? I'm surprised he doesn't hate me after leaving the band.

"Hello?" i answered.

"Hey. How are you?" he asked me.

"I've been doing a lot better. You?"

"Yeah things have been pretty chill here."

"I see you have a new lead singer." i said, "joel is way better than me wow."

"Nah It's really weird not recording with you. Hey do you want to hang out later?"

Is he being serious? "Yeah, I'll meet you at your place. Lexus is throwing a party or something."

"We can hang out another day, it doesn't have to be today." he explained.

"Dude you know how awkward i am at parties. I don't even know any of the people she's inviting." i told him.

"Alright then."

"I'll there in like 45 minutes."

I got up from bed and brushed my messy black hair. Lexus is out buying drinks and decoration for later. I feel kind of bad for leaving but, oh well. We moved in together not to long ago, which is great so now we won't be apart as much so i can see her a lot more.

I got into my car and drove off. On the way i played some Blink 182 and Slipknot. As i head banged at a stop light, i saw a couple stare at me from the inside of their red car. I turned the volume even louder and went insane to the beat of the music, but once i took off i set the volume back down and stopped having a pretend seizure.. I like to drive alone. I can listen to whatever i want and sing as loud and as bad as i want. Or just let loose and have a dance party at every red light. I don't feel judged or uncomfortable. I just feel free. It's not that i can't do that anywhere else but, there's not that many places where i can have people stare at me and not see them again.

I made it to Lloyd's house. I rang the doorbell, and as soon as i did the door slammed open, scaring me half to death.

"Nick!" Lloyd shouted as he bro hugged me.

"Hi Lloyd." i smiled.

"It's like i haven't seen you in forever." he said with fake sadness in his voice.

"Yeah I know" I laughed, "So what's up?"

"Nothing really," he said walking inside. I walked in to find Johnny sleeping on the couch. Half his body is falling of the couch, which made me laugh. I ran over and sat on his back. He pushed me off right away.

"Lloyd!" he complained.

"Aw i'm not that heavy" i chuckled.

"Hey!" Lloyd laughed from across the room.

Johnny opened his eyes to see me sitting on the floor. "Oh hey." he closed his eyes again as he pushed the side of my head making fall over.

"Nice to see you too."

"It's too early lemme sleep." he complained, but still laughed.

"You do realize it's like 4 pm right?" i asked him.

"Like i said, too early."

"WAKE UP" I growled like i would in songs.

"Fine"

While i was there, we played Nintendo 64. We get really excited and competitive when we the original smash bros. I've been playing as Yoshi for a few hours so far, even if he's not the strongest character. There was five seconds left in the battle so the screen showed the numbers counting down. At three seconds left Lloyd smashed me out off the screen with Bowser. Just as the game ended he got up and hit me right in the eye with the controller.

"Ow. Crap!" i whined.

"Dude i'm sorry." He apologized.

"Nah it's cool." i assured him rubbing my watering eye.

"Nice going Lloyd," teased Johnny.

"Are you sure you're ok? That was kinda hard."

I removed my hand from eye. It was kinda blurry at first, but it cleared up after blinking a few times.

"Dude you have a black eye." Lloyd pointed out.

"Are you kidding me?!" i panicked a bit. I'm already ugly enough i don't need a nasty bruise on top of that.

"Well it's not really a black eye, you just have a bruise like right here" he explained as he ran his finger at the bottom edge of his eye socket.

"Oh."

"Here look." johnny took a picture of me on his phone and showed it to me. It looks bad, to me at least. It reminds me off the time i got beat up as a middle schooler when i rammed into the corner of an opened locker. That was way worse but, i haven't had a bruise on my face since then. I flashed back to that day.

I was running away from this guy named Jeremy and two other guys. It was after school so there was no teachers, no other students to slow them down, not even a janitor. They caught up to me right where someone had left their locker opened. Jeremy grabbed me by my hair, that was a dirty blonde at the time, and pushed my head down against it. It was my left eye, it didn't matter that much since i was born with that eye being blind. Blood ran down my face as I headed it out. I couldn't hide it from my parents, so they called the school and it just got worse. They would beat me a lot more, knock all my stuff down, and called me names every time they walked by me. It continued into high school. I know it's been years but it still haunts me like a ghost.

"Nick are you ok?" Lloyd asked me, bringing me back to reality.

"Um."

"What were you thinking about?" He asked me.

"Remember the last time i had a black eye."

"Oh.. Yeah."

"What? What happened." Johnny questioned. Lloyd looked at me, asking ' can i tell him, or is it too personal?' I nodded my head.

"When we're in eighth grade these guys, hit him against the corner of a locker." he explained to Johnny.

"That's terrible. I would've beat the crap out of them if i would've been there."

"Well they we're like 6'7 and the starters for the football team. I don't know how that would've gone down."

"Nevermind then"

I laughed a little, that awkward laugh you do when you don't really know what to do anymore. Johnny looked at me, then at the floor.

"Hey, I'm sorry for what i said to Lexus a while ago. I was just pissed that you wanted to leave, and at the way she treats you sometimes." he said, really meaning it.

"It's fine, that's behind us." i answered.

A stayed at Lloyd's for a few more hours, until it was around 10 pm. I decided it was time to get back home, and face the party i'd been trying to avoid. The drive back was fast. There was no traffic and i only hit green lights, sadly. I rolled the windows down and let the October breeze in. I wish i had a convertible, it would look way cooler. The moon is a burnt orange, and the stars are shining bright. There's quite a bit of clouds, making the sky seem like a horror movie. I drove into my neighborhood to find a whole lot of cars parked by my house. Well here it goes.