Deranged | Jimin

Rectitude

After Yoongi helped me get discharged from the hospital, I stayed with the unconscious Jimin most of the time and so did Yoongi. He was still not awake after three days. Luckily, Yoongi had checked him into the best room in the hospital, so there was a sofa for us to rest on when we were tired of just waiting there. Yoongi came whenever he was not remotely managing FIRE. I was spending quite a lot of time with Yoongi because of that.

I was just chatting with Yoongi as we continued to stay with Jimin.

"Yoongi," I said as I sat on a chair next to the bed holding Jimin's hand. "How did you and Jimin meet?"

"We've known each other for quite a while," Yoongi said. "I think we met when I was around thirteen. Our schools were next to each other and I think it was one day after school."

"Did Jungkook go to that school as well?"

"No, Jungkook went to school with me, and Eunjung too. Ours was the 'rich kids' school actually. Quite a lot of them looked down on the pupils from Jimin's school."

"So why did you became friends with Jimin?"

"I had never believed that you should be judged based on how rich your parents are, because you didn't make those money yourself. I judge people on their own qualities alone, not their background or gender, or anything like that. And I saw potential in Jimin and Jungkook. We instantly got along very well as well. We became as close as real brothers," Yoongi looked at Jimin and I saw real brotherly love in his eyes. "And as brothers, it is only right that I take care of him."

It was so strange to see the two vastly different sides of this man. On one hand, he was kind and thoughtful to those he really cared about. One the other hand, if someone was in his way, he would get rid of them mercilessly using whatever means. I laughed a little, glad that I was not one of the latter.

"And I was right in choosing them," Yoongi continued. "I would not have been able to come this far without either of them or Eunjung."

"One thing I still don't understand even after being around you guys for so long, is how you can just kill someone without guilt, without your conscience getting in the way."

"You become num to it," Yoongi said. "Even though I've never been a 'good' person, the first few times I killed, I have to admit... I was scared."

I glanced at Jimin. "But Jimin says he enjoys it."

"That you'll have to ask him yourself," Yoongi chuckled. "I'm not a psycho killer like him. Though it was very useful having a psycho killer by my side when I was trying to create my underworld empire."

"The things Namjoon accused you of," I began, "why do you allow it?"

He sighed, "Yerin, you have to understand, we are in the underworld. And in the underworld, there are no rules. As the leader of my gang, my main goal is to expand it and make sure it grows strong. I cannot spend time each steep on the way to stop and ponder on morals or the Ten Commandments from the Bible or whatever."

"But he said he made his gang powerful without doing those things."

Yoongi scoffed, "And where is he now? Yerin, in my position, if you even have one trace of conscience, you are doomed to fail. And I'm sure Kim Namjoon lied to you. If he told you his gang has never done anything morally wrong that FIRE has done, then that is definitely a lie. I have seen Bludhood doing it. And it would've been impossible to expand Bludhood to the size it was without doing any of those things. It's a vicious world, Yerin."

I looked down not saying anything. Now that I thought back to it, I had been a fool to believe everything Namjoon told me. His gang was on the verge of collapse, and he desperately needed someone to save it so of course he would say whatever was needed to make FIRE seemed like the ultimately evil gang.

"How do I know you are not doing what Kim Namjoon was doing, using words to make me trust you?"

"Well," Yoongi smirked and leaned back on the sofa, "you would have to decide that for yourself."

I smiled, knowing there was no pointed even thinking about it since I have chosen FIRE's side already. There was no turning back. I wouldn't want to anyway since my love was also on this path.

After this incident, I became even more trusting of Jimin if that was possible. He, who was a 'psycho killer' as described by Yoongi, restrained himself from killing someone because of me. Whereas on the other hand my own blood-related brother pressed the trigger without caring how I would feel.

Also I felt like I understood Yoongi and Eunjung more after having to personally go through a moral dilemma. If they had guilt and conscience like mine, then I'm sure they would fail at what they do miserably since they have to make morally wrong decisions everyday for the greater good of the gang. I remembered when Jungkook first told me about Yoongi he described him as 'a person who does things that are not righteous, but is a good person at heart'. I felt that was actually a very accurate description of that man...given that you are not his enemy.

Suddenly, I felt slight twitching from the hand that I was holding. I immediately turned to look at the man on the bed.

"Jimin? Can you hear me?"

The twitching in his hand became more apparent and it turned into squeezing. My heart was overjoyed when I saw his eyes slowly opened.

"Jimin! Jimin! I'm here." I smiled, leaning closer to him. Yoongi also hurried to the other side of the bed.

He weakly turned to look at me. His other hand traveled up as if wanting to take off the breathing mask that cover his nose and mouth. I helped him did so.

"Yerin," he whispered breathlessly. "You are alright."

"Jimin," for what felt like the millionth time of the week, I had tears in my eyes. "You are an idiot. You have no idea how worried I was."

He smiled a little. "The necklace."

"What?" My brows was furrowed.

"The necklace," he said it a bit louder this time, "in my pocket."

Yoongi seemed to have understood him. "I'll go get it." He went out of the room.

"Yerin, you are not hurt anywhere?" He asked.

"No. Stop worrying about me and worry about yourself! Gosh you are an idiot." I laughed through tears.

Yoongi soon returned into the room. "This one right?" He dangled a necklace from his hand and I realised it was the 'J' necklace that Namjoon tossed away.

Jimin wanted to sit up but he hissed when he used the muscle on his abdomen.

"Don't," I said. "Don't over-exert yourself."

"I'll put it on her." Yoongi offered and Jimin nodded. He came around to my side of the bed. I held my hair as Yoongi put the necklace around my neck and did it up.

I stroked the familiar weight on my chest. I didn't realised I had actually missed wearing this.

Jimin's smiled strengthened when he saw I was finally wearing the necklace again. "Don't take it off."

I shook my head. "I won't."

His hand reached up and gently stroked my cheek, another smile gracing his pale face. He wiped off a tear with his thumb, his eyes taking the image of my face in longingly.