Part Thirty-Seven

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Part Thirty-Seven



I run my finger along Harry's jaw, his eyes watching me carefully. His temperature has gone down significantly; the only thing hurting is his stomach. My left hand rests on the top of his head, my head resting on my arm, and my right continuing to touch his scruffy jaw while we lie in bed.

"Are you hungry?" I whisper, placing a kiss to his forehead. He nods and brings a hand to my back, pulling me closer to him. His head rests on my chest and I cup his cheek, holding him close to me. I kiss the top of his curls and his body rolls on top of mine, letting out a laugh, his own chest rumbling.

"You are so warm," he tells me, his bare back showing and his arms shivering with goose-bumps.

"You are cold," I tell him, feeling his cool skin. He climbs off me and rolls off the bed, getting up and tossing a sweatshirt on. I get up myself and follow him out of the bedroom, his body sitting down on the couch and grabbing a book. I walk to the kitchen and make him some soup, placing it in a bowl and walking over to him. Handing it to him, Harry's hands grip it tightly and he begins to eat it. My fingers grab the remote and I turn on the TV, turning on Silver Linings Playbook.

As we watch, I notice Harry crunching his eyebrows, watching as Pat and Tiff get together, but Pat constantly trying to get back his wife. When Harry watches Pat have a breakdown, he places his bowl on the table and looks genuinely frustrated.

"I don't get it," he states, looking at the screen while they dance. "He clearly is being forced to be away from someone he loves. Why are they doing that?"

"He has to learn to be away from her. He needs to realize that his true love is Tiffany."

He continues to watch the movie, his eyes turning to slits while they dance.

"God dammit!" He yells. "This movie is fucked up."

I watch as Harry get way too involved in the movie, unsure of how to react.

"Harry, it's just a movie. This type of stuff doesn't usually happen."

"It sure as hell happened to me!"

I stop talking and he stands, running a hand through his hair. He actually seems upset.

"Harry is there something you're not telling me?" His eyes close and I watch him closely, his cheeks being sucked between his teeth.

"Harry?"

I stand and I walk towards him, grabbing his cheeks in my hands.

"I-I'm sorry," he whispers, his eyes hesitantly roaming my face.

"Shh, it's okay. You trust me right?" He nods, making the gesture clear.

"Since... that night, I have always been scared of bad things. That's why I got involved with bad people, so I didn't have to experience it. And I was diagnosed at 16 with post traumatic stress disorder."

My eyes soften, watching him come completely undone. He has a mental disorder; that's why he was upset with the movie. Everything seems to make sense now, knowing his issues with nightmares, me leaving at the deal, his extreme possessiveness over me. I never gave a thought about it, but I know he's not lying.

"I have to take medicine every morning, but I don't. I can't stand it because it makes me feel like I'm controlled. I took it once and I was angry with everyone."

I nod and he pulls me close, hugging me as if I'd leave. His arms tighten and his head buries into my neck. I hold him close to me, never wanting to let him go. We don't need anyone else but each other and that's all I could ask for.

My lips kiss his ear and his body noticeably relaxes. "Nothing will get to you Harry. You can do this and I am here for you; whatever you need."

My arms wrap around his waist and his head remains buried in my neck, his frustration clear in this. I feel him grab onto the ends of my hair, pulling my head back, pressing his lips to mine. The kiss barely lasted, Harry's body slumping on mine in absolute fear.

"I-I know I am fucked up, but please. You make everything go a-away and are like my own medication. You take it away; stay with me."

"Was this why you never got involved with girls?"

His nodding head indicates his answer, his eyes puffy and lips dry. "Since the time I started feeling something towards you, you were the first girl I even remotely wanted to have a relationship with. I have had dates before but nothing lasted because I knew if those girls found out about my disorder, they'd leave. You are the first."

I nod and he leans his forehead down on mine, breathing on my lips. Having him so close to me makes me feel safe, so protected, knowing he will only care for me. I know it's him. Harry is the one I want to give myself to, absolutely and completely.

"Make love to me," I whisper, my arms wrapping around him tightly. His arms tighten and our noses brush.

"Are you sure?" he whispers, concern threaded into his words. I breathe out a yes and I open my eyes, meeting Harry's soft green ones. I grip his waist and pull his body to me, his hands on the nape of my neck.

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispers, kissing my forehead.

"I know you won't. I know the first time will hurt but it's not you. I want it to be you Harry."

His eyes follow mine and he nods, grabbing onto one of my hands, leading me to the bedroom and shutting it behind him.

______

I am sorry it's so short but I will promise the next chapter will be good. WARNING: it will have sex in it so if you don't not appreciate reading sex scenes, don't read the next chapter, but it will not be raunchy. It is going to be romantic.

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