Bad Blood (h.s.)

Part Ninety-Nine

Part Ninety-Nine

January 3

What has gotten into me? This Beth girl is driving me insane. Am I supposed to feel good when I am with girls?

She’s on my mind all the time; it’s annoying. I’ve never felt like a girl should be on my mind, but she is. As hard as I try and as much as I want her to leave the deep recesses of my brain, she’s still there. I’ve never, in my whole, experienced the feelings I have with her. She makes me alive in a weird way, like it was her reason for coming into my life. But it shouldn’t be this way. I shouldn’t be feeling this type of feeling because I need to break up with her.

But I don’t want to.

Beth is so…relaxed. She’s not afraid to speak her mind or yell at me. She stands her ground and holds her own. It’s a breath of fresh air compared to the girls I used to know.

The only thing I fear is she’ll find out my secret. I don’t want her to know about my post-traumatic stress disorder. If I tell her, she’ll think I’m fucked up and even more scary. I want to make her like me, not hate me.

Fearing my feelings for Beth are already too deep, I need to take her out again. She may have hated me after the movies, but I only wanted to annoy her into thinking I was making a move on her. All I wanted to see was her cheeks blush again. She’s beautiful.

Of course I ran after her, I was angry she thought so low of me. I guess I don’t know how to act around a girl I’m developing feelings for, even when I know I shouldn’t be. And damn she’s fast for a girl her size. She’s only like 5’4 and her tiny little legs run super quick. But not quick enough because I was able to wrap my arms around her. We fell and I didn’t think before kissing her, her body frozen under mine.

She obviously didn’t react to my moves but I felt the sudden need to protect her, make sure no one touches those lips. Ever since I laid eyes on her, she’s someone I don’t want anyone else to even think about. No one can have her but me because I need this girl for my job. She won’t leave me until I get what I need from her.

January 5

Shit.

That’s all I need to say because that girl makes my heart race. She willingly kissed me but she left me that night. Her body is so warm and holding her in my arms, it made me relaxed. The thunderstorm didn’t even bother me because she was there. What the hell?

But here I sit alone, knowing she’s out with fucking Jake. So shit. She means much more to me than my job because she stands up to me and makes me realize I’m not alone. She’s there and she probably won’t leave, but seeing as though she’s not with me right now and with that fucker instead, she left. Why do I feel this weird feeling knowing she’s with him? I’m not jealous am I?

January 6

Her cheek. It’s…It’s bruised so badly. The beautiful girl I held in my arms all night lies next to me, sound asleep. It pains me to think I let that shithead even go out with her. I knew he’s had a past of hurting women, and I did nothing to protect her.

Last night, I told her she has my heart. I don’t know why I said it but I saw the belief in her eyes. She had hope and honestly believed me. I wish she could give me hers, just so I could have her in a way I know she’s mine. But I don’t want the satisfaction of breaking up with her anymore. She’s too innocent and considerate for that.

Her skin is so soft and one touch, she could break. I felt the ultimate sense of protection take over me, her body so small in my arms. She was shaking and cold; I had nothing to give her but myself. Her body curled into mine as if she was…meant to be there. My head spins thinking I am actually getting close to someone. But I somehow feel comfortable with Beth. I like her. A lot.

January 15

I haven’t talked to her in a week. Her mother is keeping her locked away from me. But I want her back. I want her to be my girlfriend. I need to make her mine before people fill her mind. Especially Ruth Long because she’s a fucking snob who’s always trying to get into everyone’s business.

Beth Jones is the only thing on my mind.

January 20

Her face is so small. I love holding her face in my hands. It makes me feel like I’m holding something important. She’s so important to me; I honestly want more of her. Fuck the deal with Jonah, this girl is mine and I love the feeling I have with her.

I ran my fingers though her long brown locks, but the thing that I have come to realize is that it’s her eyes. Her big blue eyes are my lifelong achievement of finding what’s right in my life. Looking into her blue orbs, I see my life flash before my eyes. Her hair flowing in the wind as she walks down a fucking aisle. I mean, seriously, marriage? Hell no. What the fuck is my deal and wanting everything with Beth Jones. Why Beth Jones?

February 7

She’s fucking amazing that’s why. She is everything I could have ever asked for. I may not have realized it, but she has the ability to take everything in my fucked up life away. She’s amazing and the girl I think...I love?

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BOOK ONE IS FINISHED!!!

Please look for the new book either tomorrow or Tuesday! I really hope you enjoyed this book so keep an eye out for Bad Blood 2! Please follow me if you want updates and if you have any questions, just post on my board or send me a message and I'll try to respond! I love you guys so much so please vote, comment, and share the book! Much love forever and always! <3