Alive

Eighteen

Tris's POV

My eyes open and I immediately realise that Tobias is no longer in the room. But my parents are. They are sitting on the bed, on either side of me, holding my hands, smiling sadly at me.

"Where's Tobias?" I ask, kinda scared.

"Oh, he was called into work. He didn't want to go but it was an emergency. He called us, told us what happened last night and we came straight away. But he didn't leave until we were here. He said you were allowed out today after Hana does another ultrasound. We'll take you home and he said he'd come home at lunch and have the afternoon off." I just nod at what my mum tells me.

"You feeling okay, honey?" Dad questions me with a worried smile on his face.

"Yeah. When's Hana coming?"

"She said she'd come back in an hour and that was like twenty minutes ago."

That is when I start feeling sick. I look around and see a bowl on the table next to the bed. I point to it and dad grabs it for me just in time for me to puke into it. They rub my back as I puke.

When I'm done dad puts the bowl back on the side and I collapse back into the bed.

"Do you want something to eat? I can go and ask a nurse to make you some toast or something." Mum says as she tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"Toast please."

She nods and leaves.

I start thinking about last night and I can't help but cry. Dad envelopes me in his arms and I cry into his chest.

"I was so scared, daddy. Last night."

"Hey, I know. But it's part of parenthood, being scared. I'm scared all the time that you and Caleb are going to get hurt. Have been since the days you were born. And when your mum was pregnant I was constantly scared that something was going to happen to you and your brother. I remember all those times you were running around as a kid, following the Dauntless or just because you wanted to, I was terrified you were going to fall over and hurt yourself. And sometimes you did, then I was scared, and kinda blamed myself even though I knew it wasn't my fault and you were just being the curious child you were. You still are curious, even if you're no longer a child. But you'll always be my baby and I will always be scared of something happening to you. When we were with David, before you came and we were forced to watch everything that went on with you and Caleb, we were terrified whenever you got hurt or when you nearly died. Then when you and Uriah arrived, I was terrified of David hurting you, and even Uriah. But he kept hurting you in ways that he didn't with any of the rest of us, and I was scared I was going to lose you. And every time you got pregnant I was scared I was going to lose them as well, because I am their grandfather, I don't want anything happening to them. And I know you were scared as well, that's why you tried everything you could to make David not know you were pregnant. But that's part of being a parent. Being scared. And that feeling starts as soon as you know about the child. I know you've been scared this entire pregnancy and you won't stop being scared about the wellbeing of this child and any other child you may have until the day you die, maybe even after that. Because that's parenthood. And it's also what shows you're going to be a good parent. If you're scared then you're going to do whatever you can to protect and love your child, you'll do anything to make sure they don't get hurt. And they will get hurt sometimes but it's part of life. But it is still scary. I love you, Beatrice." He kisses the top of my head.

"I love you, too, daddy."

I hear the door open and I wipe my tears as my mum comes over to me with a plate of toast in her hands. She gives it to me and sits in her original position.

"You two okay?" She asks and we nod as I take a bite of my toast. "Hana said she'd come by in about ten minutes to do the ultrasound. Then you should be able to go." I nod again and keep eating the toast.

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As soon as I get home I plop onto the sofa and my parents go to the kitchen to make enough lunch for me, them and Tobias who should be home soon. I am wearing some shorts and a t-shirt that my parents brought to the infirmary for me.

I place my hands on my small bump and rub it lightly.

"Mummy loves you, baby." I whisper to my belly.

That is when Tobias comes into the door in a hurry. He shuts the door and rushes over to me, wrapping me in his arms.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there this morning. But I don't have to go back to work until the day after tomorrow. Are you okay? Is the baby okay?" He's going to be an amazing dad.

"Yeah, we're both fine, stop worrying."

He pulls back and looks at me with a serious, but love filled, face. "I won't ever stop worrying."

"I know. I won't ever stop worrying either."

And I kiss him with one full of love.

"I'm so glad you're okay. Both of you." He tells me as he places his hands on my belly. He also leans down and plants a gentle kiss on it. "I love you both so much."

"We love you, too, Tobias." I kiss him again, gently this time.

"Where's your parents?"

"In the kitchen making us lunch."

He nods and we snuggle together on the sofa. And I know now that we won't ever stop worrying, because we're parents now and it's part of parenthood.

A/N: Hope you like it! Will be finishing this book shortly so keep reading!

Word Count: 1048