The Honeymooners

Ten. Face masks and hotels

Enzo surprised me this morning with a couples spa day at Glowing Beauty Baths & Spa, who are a new beauty salon in the area, close by to his parent's house. It's a real pamper day. I'm having a facial, massage and nail treatments. Enzo is going for a decongesting facial because he's been suffering from a few stress spots from work. Next is a deep tissue massage which I know he'll love. I always make sure to treat him to a back and leg massage on a Friday, but I'm not skilled enough to get into every nook and cranny.

"Enzo, you really should get a manicure. Your cuticles are all dry and always bleed when you knock them on something," I say, turning my head to the side to look at him while Ronnie pushes her elbow into his back.

We are both laid on beds with tiny holes at the end where our faces can rest. It's romantic with the scent of the jasmine oils and whale music. The perfect honeymoon activity.

Enzo doesn't lift his head, but I hear the annoyance in his voice. "Am, can you keep quiet for two minutes? I'm supposed to be enjoying the massage and all the while I've had you bickering down my ear."

I scrunch up my nose and kick my legs up, quickly apologising to the therapist who was kneading oil into my feet. "You don't have to be so grumpy."

"You don't have to be so loud," Enzo replies.

"Fine," I roll my eyes. "I'll shut up."

Enzo laughs. "Good, that's all I want."

I keep my eyes closed and listen to the echoing sounds of whale calls, while my body relaxes into a pool of mush. Enzo lets out a loud groan which causes my eyes to spring open and then another comes out of him. Geesh. Looks like he's enjoying himself. Sex noises are what it sounds like to me.

I turn my head to see what Ronnie is doing to my husband and find her halfway leant across his back, her knee digging into his side. I doubt I'm flexible enough to do that to him, but I could give it a go.

"Yes, right there," Enzo says, his breath hitching into a long satisfied groan.

Ronnie hums at the back of her throat. "Hmm, you are very tense here. Do you lift weights?"

"Um-hm. Three times a week," Enzo nods.

Ronnie begins to lift his arm in the air to massage his shoulder. "You should be getting a massage at least once a month. We can book you in if you like?"

"Okay," Enzo sighs.

"Erm, we don't live here," I reply, my cheeks flaming when Enzo purposely ignores me.

We don't blooming live here!

Ronnie moves away from him to oil her hands. "Do you see a chiropractor?"

"Yes, both Ambrosia and I see them every three months," Enzo says, then lifts his head to smile at me, but I quickly put my face back down in the comfortable circle and keep it there until the end.

Enzo pulls his wallet out to find some notes to pay and I lean over the counter to gain Ronnie's attention as she rings our bill up.

I get out my card. "Excuse me. We'll be paying separately."

"No," Enzo puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes in reassurance. "It's my treat, sweetheart."

I ignore him because I'm feeling childish, secretly wanting him to know how it feels. "How much is mine, please?"

Ronnie taps away on her calculator and then scribbles it down on a notepad. "Seventy-six pounds and fifty-two pence."

I give her the card. "I'll use this to pay, please."