The Honeymooners

Twenty-two. Enzo and Goodbyes

Unedited 💓

It's back to reality.

I try to ignore the rain as it sprinkles down on my skin as we wheel our suitcases down the stretch of the carpark at Dover. Mum hurries along telling me she'll grab the car while I hop along with my crutches. I keep my head down, not wanting the rain to smudge my mascara.

"Am, sweetheart."

I swear my heart stops beating at the sound of his voice. I must be hearing things. My eyes gaze around the carpark only seeing families rush to their cars and taxi drivers hurling luggage into the boot of their cars.

"Over here, baby," his voice speaks again and I follow the noise, seeing no other than Enzo.

Goodness - does he look rough.

I stare into his lifeless eyes that are surrounded by purple rings, leading down to jet black stubble that tries to disguise his hallow cheekbones. If he hadn't have spoken, I would have barely recognised him.

"Enzo?" I say, noticing how his clothes hang off his body. "What are you doing here?"

He takes a step or two towards me, his fingers shaking. "I wanted to be here when you got back. Am, we need to talk."

It's true. We do need to talk, but right now? I just want to get home to bed. "You're right we do, but not here in a carpark. I'll call you tomorrow."

"No," he rushes, panic taking over his features. "I don't want to wait until tomorrow. Please...I just need to be around you. I've missed you so terribly."

I missed you too. I want to say, but then the betrayal and heartbreak comes crashing over me like a ton of bricks. I need to be strong. I need to do what's best for me.

I hold my own, staring him right in the eye. "I said we'll talk tomorrow. I'm tired and constantly nauseous."

Enzo's eyes sparkle for a moment. "Is it the baby? Is -ah- is everything good?"

I nod flattening my hand over my t-shirt. "Yeah, can you see the bump?"

"No," he laughs stepping forward with his eyes wide open. "I can't see it. Is it at the bottom of your belly?"

"Yeah, maybe I'm imagining it being there," I reply, pulling my top forward to hide my stomach, starting to hop further away from him.

"Wait, Am," he says, speed-walking after me. "I'll drive you back if you like? We can chat then?"

The closer he is to me, the harder it becomes to keep up my emotional barriers. I close my eyes. The independent version of me I found on holiday seems to be disappearing already. "Don't push me on this, Enzo. I said that we will talk tomorrow."

"I'm going to fight for you. I won't ever stop loving you. I'm an idiot who's made more than one mistake, but I want to put things right. I need you, Am, I need you so damn much it hurts. Im dead without you in my life. A shell of a man."

I keep walking, letting the slow flow of tears escape down my cheeks. Where's mum and the sodding car? Enzo keeps following after me, his sniffles ringing in my ear. Men crying is a weakness of mine...a heavy, never able to say no weakness.

And then I'm saved by the sound of an engine, mum's concerned face appearing through the windscreen. I stop moving, waiting for her to park up next to us, making sure she's not blocking anyone from getting their cars out.

"Enzo," says mum, climbing out of the car. "You've got some balls to be here."

I widen my eyes, not used to the language coming from her mouth.