sue me!

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me: slendy i refuse to go back to school after what the principle said to me

slendy: what did he say?

me: your expelled like how dare he?

slendy: *long sigh* it's okay slenderman you knew that someday this would have happened

me: well gotta zayn!! *runs to room*

breaking the news was hard!

police officer: ma'am what's that bottle next to you

elena: it's water officer

police officer: it's not water it's wine

elena: LISTEN HERE JESUS! I SAID IT'S WATER!! *smacks bottle on ground*

police officer: 0_0

im singing in the rain!

kira: ALL I WANNA DO IS SEE YOU TURNING TWO!! A GIANT WOMAN *high pitched voice* A GIANT WO-

me: *barges in* KIRA IT'S 5 IN THE FUCKING MORNING I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!! *storms out and slams door*

kira: *whispers* a giant woman

i like meh sleep!!

me: *rumaging through fridge* i love food food love's me were one big happy family with a great big hug and a snack from me to you won't you say food love's me to!

jeff: no food does not love you

me: *whips head out of fridge and glares at him* what you say justin bieber lover

jeff: oh nothing just that food does not love you maggie you should know that

me: i'm four five seconds to murdering yo ass

jeff: try me bitch *put's fruit and vegetables in my face*

me: boi get that out my face! *starts slapping jeffs hands to get the fruit out of my face* you know i'm allergic you want me see jesus?

jeff: your not allergic maggie you need to learn how to eat healthy

jane: JEFF I KNOW YOUR PALE ASS DIDN'T JUST SAY *jeff voice* "healthy" LIKE BITCH WHAT THE FUCK! *storms into kitchen*

jeff: oh but i did and i'm just telling maggie she should just you know start eating her greens

me: *paralyzed*

jane: look what you did! you know she don't like being healthy *pulls me into chest* it scares her

jeff: *rolls eyes* so? i'm just saying-

jane: ENOUGH!! havn't you scarred the girl enough *looks down at my paralyzed body* she's just a food lover! now calm yo titties before i knock yo ass out

jeff: fine fine but hey if you ever wanna eat healthy just come to me *walks out*

me and jane: NEVER!!

i don't eat healthy

me: *sleeping on the couch*

jane elena and kira: *starts walking up towards me with markers in hands*

me: *pulls out gun and is awake* *staring at them with gun raised*

kira jane and elena: 0_0 *start backing away*

were all in this together!

me: *walks into kitchen* ohh! a box of donuts! *looks around stuffs box up shirt and runs upstairs*

jeff: *come's out from under the table with a camera* *snickers and points camera toward face* this is gonna be good

jane: *walks in* oh my god jeff!

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