It's Just That - Jungkook & SinB

Author's Note #5

hey guys! yes, it's another author's note. i need to straighten things up a bit- well, more like straighten up my mind.

a lot of things has been going on for this past few days.

me and jungkook had a little conflict for this past couple of days. we're okay now, we just had a misunderstanding tho. i won't tell you much but the point is that jungkook reread this one chapter and then he kinda defended this one friend of mine since i wrote something about her. obviously, it's something that you can say negative about her, and jungkook refused to accept the truth.

but that's what i assumed.

this evening, i told him to call me and so he did. i felt like i need to straight things up. i told him that i didn't mean to portray my own friend as a bad person, but i just want to point out the experience that i had and how valuable the lesson is for me. that's all. speaking for myself, i'm not that kind of person that likes to talk the bad about people. like it's pointless to pin other people down when i'm also imperfect. so yeah.

and he also straightened his opinion, well more like a statement or understanding. he thought that my friend- okay you know what? since y'all already know my story, i'll just tell you the problem. so it was about when umji talked about my cancer behind my back with her best friend who's in a different school now (they were doing a video call using my laptop). i was so upset when i found out, because she either didn't think i would find out, or she purposely wanted to let me know. but whatever she was trying to do, i won't mind about that anymore.

back to him when he explained his understanding. he thought that umji told everyone about my illness. but that's not what i said. i said "umji talked behind my back and SHE SAID everyone at school already knew about it". i did not write that caps locked words, but i thought he'd understand immediately. idk if y'all are with him tho. you may also thought that umji was the one who told everyone. but nah. in fact, she was the one who warned me that everyone already knew about it, right when i confront her.

so that's why, i'm trying to tell y'all to be careful when choosing someone that you can trust. you still can trust someone but make sure that you're choosing the right one. how? well you need to examine people first. like choosing what food you want to eat on a restaurant, you gotta read the whole menu to make sure that when you found what you want, you won't regret it. and when the food comes, just take a small bite first, you gotta be able to identify the taste. and when it comes to people, you gotta talk about something general first, don't get personal immediately. and when the food tastes good, you start to dig em in. same to people, if you feel like you connect with them, start to get personal. but just a bit. you gotta be careful when you open up, just layer by layer. you gotta take it slow just like when you're chewing your food and swallow it in. if you chew em furiously, you'll choke. and when you get too personal and that person disappoints you, you could die of heartbreak.

enough of the "interpretation". y'all get my point right? good.

oh, i also cried when i was calling him hehe. my heart ached when i remember the past, what happened between me and umji. but i felt like i need to let it all out so that i don't hold back any tears and pains, just like the ones that i felt. i'm kinda glad to talk about it with jungkook tho. he just sat down and listened to me. even tho he tends to gave too much advice and opinion that were too much sometimes, i'm still grateful for having him around. i never had a friend like him before. if you ask me to say two words that describes him, i'd say "roller coaster". he's legit a roller coaster. when you know him, it's just full of ups and downs. or maybe it's because i'm the one who's being too much and make everything feels like a roller coaster ride lmao.

and we spoke about umji before. one more thing that i need to mention is that umji seemed different today. i didn't talk to her today, at all. well i tried to but she gave me a sign that she was pissed, either because of me or something else. but she still talked with other people, even my friends, but not me. i knew that she was pissed because before we left our first class, she forgot her worksheet and i called her and gave it to her. but she snatched it from my hand and put on the "i-don't-want-to-talk-to-you-right-now". she didn't even say "thanks" or anything, which is rude for me tbh. but again, i'm not trying to make her look bad (so don't judge her please) and i've known her for 4 years. she's always like that when she's mad at someone. thinking about it again, i think she's pissed at me. idk anymore guys.

my life couldn't get any more complicated isn't it? well yeah maybe it's my fault at first to start all the drama that has been going on now. but... looks like God loves to see me handle them. it's cool tho, i mean, i love to challenge myself and i consider those experience as valuable lessons for me to face the reality (real world, they said) when i grow up. positive thinking! :)

okay, i'm done pouring out all my heart here. so i hope y'all minds are straightened up too. thank you so much to those who made it to this last paragraph. thanks a lot and LOVE U GUYS!!! <3<3<3