Heal Me|JungkookxBTS

,5

Jungkook pov

My eyes darted nervously between Namjoon and Jin as they undid the white straps, their nimble fingers careful to not touch my pasty skin.

They're going to take you back, throw you back in that room.

I winced at the cynical voice, I didn't want to believe it, I can trust my hyungs. Right?

They didn't even try to stop Lee when he took you. They were probably relieved when he took you.

I nodded and felt myself slowly submit to the mind numbing words. It was to much work to disagree with the voices, it's easier to submit, I had to find that out the hard way.

"Jungkook can you walk or do you need the wheel chair?" Namjoon's voice was a dull echo in my head, another useless voice added to the choir that is my mind. "Jungkook." Namjoon said, this time louder. I turned to face Namjoon and glared coldly at the man. Namjoon held my gaze and offered a weak smile, the action made me feel sick. "How about you walk?" Namjoon asked, more like stated, because his patience was wearing thin. I could tell. I noticed my hyungs tense posture and immediately felt guilt swallow me. I'm the reason Yoongi punched the wall, I'm the reason Jimin left crying, and I'm the reason Namjoon is tense.

They should've let you die at Lee's house.

For once I agreed with the voice.

I flinched when Hoseok suddenly tossed a folded pile of clothes onto the bed. I recognized the clothes, a plain white t-shirt, black sweatpants, and my timberlands. There was also a snapback, face mask, and sunglasses. I didn't want to shock people with my gross appearance so these accessories were definitely appreciated.

"Do you need help getting dressed?" Hoseok asked, using a tone of voice someone would use if they were speaking with a toddler. I glared at my hyung, I couldn't help it. I wanted to go off on Hoseok and yell at him for treating me like a child. But at the same time that cynical voice reminded me that I am useless and pathetic, just like a child.

"I-I...dress." The broken words that I vomited reminded me of how truly broken I am. Hoseok's eyes filled with sadness and a smile spread across his cheeks that didn't light up the room, actually it did the opposite.

"Okay kookie, we'll be in the hallway. Yell if you need us." Jin said before leaving the room, Namjoon and Hoseok shuffling behind him. I looked around the whitewashed room and realized someone was missing, Taehyung.

I vaguely remembered the burn of Taehyung's long fingers on my body or the wetness of his lips. I could still hear his deep voice in my ear. A shiver crawled up my spine as I savored the memory of Taehyung.....and Yoongi, pleasuring me.

"Jungkook are you okay?" That voice.

I looked up and was met with red rimmed puppy eyes, Taehyung. Of course the one person I don't want to see would magically show up. The world just loves to torture me. Watch me squirm like a worm on a hook. That's all I am, a pathetic worm that can't do anything to protect itself.

"Jungkook?" Taehyung mumbled, his face suddenly close to mine, to close. When did he even walk over here? I backed up and glared at him, can't he tell I'm not in the mood to talk. Taehyung didn't heed my warnings and proceeded to crawl onto the small bed, his lanky arms bending awkwardly as he pulled his body onto the mattress. My heart started to race and my body shook with nerves, I stared into Taehyung's eyes and saw someone else in those cold brown orbs. Lee.

"T-Tae." I whimpered as the creature continued to awkwardly crawl up the bed, it's long fingers skimming my feet.

"Yes kookie, what's wrong?"

I blinked and looked towards the direction of the honey voice. Taehyung was standing in the doorway, his eyes were still red rimmed and pouty, and he looked concerned. I blinked and stared at the spot where that thing was, except there was nothing there. My head ached as I tried to grasp what was happening. That thing looked so real, I even felt it touch my toes, it had to be real. I'm not crazy, I'm not seeing things.

You are crazy Jungkook. You're sick and you're going to force your exhausted hyungs to take care of you. How pathetic. You worthless worm, kill yourself Jungkook. Do the entire world a favor and rid itself of your existence.

I wiped at the warm wetness that was dripping down my cheeks, I wanted to disagree with that cruel voice but I couldn't, because I knew it was right. I am sick, I've always been sick, ever since the first incident. I should've killed myself before all of this happened, I could've saved myself from a world of hurt.

"I...s-should." I whispered and watched as my bitter tears darkened the white bandages around my hands and arms.

"You should what?" Taehyung asked, I completely forgot he was still here, what is he waiting around for? Does he think I'm going to magically heal just because he's here, that's not how it works, life is a tormentor and I'm it's slave. Forever trapped in an endless cycle of pain.

"I-I should...kill me." I stuttered, I knew the words were wrong but I didn't care anymore. I looked up and was met with a glassy eyed Taehyung, fresh tears already slipping down his puffy cheeks. He looks gross, he needs to stop crying over me.

"Please get dressed Jungkook." Was all Taehyung said before shutting the white door. I knew he didn't care, those were probably tears of joy. Joy that I'm going to be gone soon and I won't burden them with my sickness anymore.

Let me help you think of the cruelest way to die, you deserve it.

Aye, so I need you guys to vote again. Which ship do you guys really want to see happen? I just need your opinions, because I'm torn between certain ships. I love you guys💙

Please vote!

Jinkook

Sugakookie

Junghope

Namkook

Jikook

Taekook