Heal Me|JungkookxBTS

,18

Jungkook pov
I sighed when a pair of velvet soft lips pressed against my neck, sucking gently before moving to another expanse of my skin. Yoongi's name slipped past my lips as he continued to mark me as his own. All I ever wanted was to be marked by someone I love and who loves me back. "I love you Yoongi." Those words were easy to say, they felt natural. As if Yoongi's name was meant to follow the word love.

Yoongi smiled against my skin and even though I couldn't see it, I could feel it's beauty. Yoongi had the most beautiful smile, all gums and pearly white teeth that made stars look dim in comparison. Yoongi is perfect...then there's me. Compared to Yoongi I'm nothing but a sick boy who claims to be sane, but everyone knows that's a lie. Even I know that's a lie. Deep down I know I'm sick, why else would I take those pills? Sure I could make up some bullshit excuse and say I take the pills to make my hyungs happy. But that's a lie too, because I don't care if they're happy anymore. I want to be happy and these pills are my last chance to be anything other than sick, depressed, or dead. These meds are my happy little pills and I absolutely hate them.

A sharp pain in my neck forced my eyes open and I strained my neck to look at Yoongi. Except it didn't look like Yoongi. The man had hair darker than black and broad shoulders, nothing like Yoongi. I tried to move or even scream but the only thing that was working were my eyes. My body was paralyzed underneath my worst nightmare, Lee.

As if he heard his name in my thoughts Lee lifted his head and smiled, his chapped lips curling over those sharp teeth that have left countless scars on my body. Tears ran down into my hairline as I lied there, completely motionless, but it felt like I was running a mile. Lee leaned forward, his snake like tongue darting out before licking at my salty tears. His tongue was sharp, like a knife, and I knew it was going to leave another scar. Lee pulled back and narrowed his inky black eyes at me. "Those pills can't heal you, they're only prolonging your suffering." Lee's words stung more than his tongue. But I knew he was right.

"I can end your suffering right now baby boy. Just blink and all the pain will go away." Lee sneered and his chapped lips curled into another terrifying grin. Psychically it's impossible for me to stop blinking, which means he's going to kill me no matter what I want. That seems like a popular theme in my life, I never get a choice. I don't get to choose what happens to my body, people choose for me. My life has been nothing but unfair and maybe I am ready to end the pain.

I didn't even realize I had blinked until I felt a pair of strong hands wrap around my neck, squeezing so hard that I thought my eyes would pop out of my skull. Lee was smiling the entire time he strangled the life out of me, while I wanted scream. The burning sensation in my lungs and the throbbing in my head started to get worse. And Lee's disgusting face was quickly becoming blurry. Maybe this is for the best. Relying on pills for feelings and forcing my love onto Yoongi is no way to live. I'll be doing the world a favor by ridding it of my scarred body. Because in a world of beautiful people, nobody wants to be burdened by an ugly one.

My lungs and throat burned as a sudden rush of oxygen filled my body. I sat up quickly and gripped my chest as each shaky breath entered then left my lungs. My heart was pounding and I was covered in a thin layer of sweat. I was so focused on my breathing that I didn't notice Yoongi, who had tears cascading down his flushed cheeks. Yoongi looked paler than usual and his glassy eyes were trained on me as if he was staring at a ghost and waiting for it to vanish.

"S-stop....st-aring at me." I managed to say between heavy breaths. Yoongi didn't heed my words, instead he crawled over to me and pulled me into a hug. At any other time I would've cherished Yoongi's hug but his arms only added to the suffocating feeling consuming me. "Ge-t off," I breathed before shoving his petite body off of me. Yoongi remained silent and simply lied on the bed waiting for me to compose myself.

After a few minutes my heart rate finally slowed and breathing was finally a luxury I had. "I'm sorry," I whispered. My nightmare kept replaying in my mind and Lee's smile was permanently burned into my brain. Yoongi shrugged, he fucking shrugged. "I'm going to take a shower, make sure to take your pill." Yoongi's words were so cold that I thought I was still asleep. Trapped in a nightmare where Yoongi hates me, we never fooled around, and he never kissed me with those velvet soft lips.

"Y-Yoongi hyung," I mumbled. He paused, already halfway off the bed with no intention in coming back. I couldn't think of anything to say so I blurted out the first words that came to mind, "I love you."

"Sure Jungkook." Yoongi pushed off the bed and sauntered out of my bedroom as if he didn't just break what little piece of heart I had left. What did I do? What did I say in my sleep that would cause Yoongi to hate me? Lee should've killed me and Taehyung should've let me jump.

"Morning Jungkook. Here's your breakfast-" Hoseok didn't finish his obviously rehearsed sentence when he saw me. I wish he did because I didn't want to talk about my feelings. I didn't want to see his eyes fill with pity as he listened to my sob story.

I looked up at Hoseok and let the tears flow, "just give me the fucking pill."

(Jungkook's getting pretty reliant on those pills ;) also I love reading the theories you guys come up with😂they're great but y'all are gonna be shocked by the ending...hopefully. I don't want to dissapoint you guys 😂😢💙💙)