Heal Me|JungkookxBTS

,13

Jungkook pov
I glared at the little white pill in my palm, I saw the label on the container, it's for schizophrenia. My hyungs lied to me again, they said they didn't think I was schizophrenic. I'm so tired of being lied too, I'm tired of life.

"Jungkook please take it, the doctors won't let you leave if you don't take it." Jin said, using that motherly tone that annoys me. I looked up and glared at Jin, "these are for schizophrenics."

Jimin flinched after hearing my words and immediately hid the pill bottle behind his back. "S-sorry hyungs." Jimin mumbled shakily, tears already threatening to leave his eyes. He cries more than I do. "Stop crying Jimin." I snapped, Jimin's eyes widened but he nodded. "Okay kookie."

My skin burned when I felt someone's hand suddenly grab my forearm. I was going to yell at them for touching me but I froze once I saw who it was, Yoongi. "Don't talk to Jimin like that, apologize to him." Yoongi demanded, his grip on my arm never loosening. Tears welled up in my eyes when I saw Jimin's pained expression, why did I snap at him, why am I so angry. "I'm sorry Jimin hyung." I whimpered and afterwards bit my lip, thinking it would help stop the tears. Jimin smiled but it didn't reach his eyes, I don't even remember what Jimin's eye smiles look like.

You're the reason why Jimin never smiles, he hates you.

"Good, now take the pill so we can go home." Yoongi said with a harsh tone. How can Yoongi be sweet and caring one minute then harsh and insensitive the next minute. "Yoongi don't be so-" before Jin could finish scolding Yoongi I swallowed the bitter pill. The small capsule traveled down my esophagus before plunging into my stomach, I want to puke. My hyungs smiled despite my sour expression and Yoongi released my arm, I completely forgot he was holding it. "Good job Jungkook ah." Yoongi praised and it caused butterflies in my stomach, or maybe it was just the pill.

You're weak and disgusting Jungkook.

I shrunk behind Hoseok when a doctor suddenly burst into the room, his appearance strikingly similar to Lee's. "Did he take it?" The doctor asked but never moved his eyes from the clipboard in his wrinkled hands. "Yeah he did." Namjoon answered. The doctors eyes suddenly landed on me and his lips curled into a perverted smile. "Wonderful, what a good boy." He praised and the words made my knees weak. Without thinking I grabbed Hoseok's shoulders and buried my face in the soft material of his hoodie. Just breathe, that's not Lee, Lee is locked up somewhere far away.

He's always with you. He's in your mind and he's in every scar and bruise that litters your disgusting body.

"Hey Jungkook are you okay?" Hoseok asked as he turned around. I ignored his question and buried my head in his neck instead. With every deep breath Hoseok's Cologne would flood my senses and it helped, it felt numbing. "Is he okay?" I heard the doctor ask and his voice sounded close. Oh god please don't touch me. My body tensed when arms suddenly wrapped around my thin frame. "He's fine, just tired." Hoseok's words vibrated against my body and for once I felt safe. The doctor hummed, "ah yes that's a side effect of the pill, it should go away after a few minutes."

I wanted to laugh at the doctor for being such an idiot but suddenly my head spun with exhaustion. I rested more of my body weight onto Hoseok, which wasn't much, and he responded by holding me tighter. "Are there any other side effects we should know?" Yoongi asked, his gravely voice comforting me in an odd way. "Yes actually there are. He'll be having strange and very vivid dreams, so I'd keep an eye on him at night. He might sleep walk but that's rare with these pills. It'll take his body awhile to get used to the drugs so for the first couple days he'll probably be very loopy. Also with some patients they had mood swings so I'd watch out for those too." The doctors long list of side effects scared me but I have to trust my hyungs, they said it'll make me feel better. I want to feel better, I want to heal.

"Okay, thanks doc." Jin said, "let's go home guys."

"Come on kookie." Hoseok cooed as he gently pried my suddenly heavy body off of him. I stumbled backwards but was stopped by something, or someone. I turned around and smiled shyly at Yoongi, who surprisingly returned the gesture. "Can we help you to the car?" Yoongi asked, waiting patiently for my consent. I nodded and let Yoongi and Hoseok lead me out of the whitewashed hospital.

"Careful kookie." Jin warned as he helped me into the van. My legs felt like iron as I stumbled into the car. I landed on one of the leather seats and let my eyelids droop closed. My brain felt cloudy, my body felt numb, and the voices were slowly turning into whispers. Maybe these pills aren't so bad.

You'll regret this Jungkook.
---
I cracked open my eyes and furrowed my brows when I saw nothing but darkness. I sat up and tried to make out my surroundings in the dark. It looked like my bedroom, I haven't been in my bedroom in forever. I jumped when a streak of light suddenly poured across my bed, burning my sensitive eyes.

"Sorry Jungkook, I didn't know you were awake." Yoongi apologized as he slid into my room and closed the door behind him. "It's k." I mumbled, my tongue felt like a rock in my mouth. Carefully Yoongi maneuvered around my messy room and sat down on the bed, a glass of water in his hand. "Here." He whispered and lifted the glass to my lips. The cool glass felt like heaven against my dry lips and the equally cold liquid sliding down my throat felt just as good.

"Thanks hyung." I mumbled. Yoongi hummed in response and set the half full glass on my nightstand. "How do you feel kookie ah?" Yoongi asked, the question making my head hurt. Why do people ask me this, I never know how to answer. "Honestly, I don't know." I confessed and my confession made Yoongi laugh. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard, I'd bottle his laugh if I could. "Well that's better than feeling terrible." Yoongi joked, a small smile still lingering on his lips. Those amazingly soft lips.

"Hyung?" I whispered. Yoongi's smile disappeared and was replaced with a worried frown, "yes?"

I tried to find some part of my body that said no but everything felt numb, lifeless, like a corpse. I don't like this feeling, I want to feel something besides pain for once. I want to feel Yoongi's lips. I leaned forward and closed the space between me and Yoongi, smashing my dry lips onto his soft ones. After Yoongi recovered from the shock he jumped back and stared at me with wide eyes.

"Jungkook what are you doing?!" Yoongi whisper yelled. I winced, he didn't like it, I'm too disgusting for him. "S-sorry h-hyung...I..I just..I don't know." I stuttered, now I feel something, but it's the opposite of what I wanted to feel. Tears slipped down my cheeks when Yoongi suddenly grabbed my chin, he's going to hit me. I deserve to be punished, I've been a bad boy. I closed my eyes and waited for the slap but was shocked when those soft lips connected with mine instead. Yoongi's lips moved slowly against mine while I just sat there, in shock. Yoongi parted our lips and rested his forehead on mine, his warm breaths tickling my spit slick lips. "Don't cry kookie and please just kiss me instead." Yoongi whispered before reconnecting our lips and this time I didn't sit there like an idiot.