WARNING: Awful Attempt At Humor, it's so bad that you needed a head's up.
After the incident with an s, Yoongi had concluded that he'd avoid Jimin as best as he could. He'd hang out with Taehyung and Jungkook's owner Jung Hoseok, clinging to the man like a lifeline.
Sure, he's thankful that the younger had apologized repeatedly and made sure to pamper the whimpering kitten as much as he could but that still didn't remove the fact that Yoongi had called Jimin fucking daddy and maybe oppa at one point.
He grimaced at just the thought of it.
"Oh! You're here again Yoongi! Not that I mind seeing my favorite hybrid, don't tell Jungkook and Taehyung that though. I'm not one to pry but why are you here exactly? Not judging or shaming on you for being attracted to the rays of my sunshine," Hoseok rambled on, excited to see his friend again. He went inside his house, not looking back.
He glared at the younger for the briefest of moments and when the latter looked back, to see if the cat hybrid was following him, the older morphed his face into a forced smile that looked more like a constipated cat than anything.
Hoseok snorted at his hyung before marching off to lounge in the living room, the activity he and his friend usually did when the two were together.
Yoongi quickly grew tired of the awkward silence but didn't try to break it, in fact he basked in its eerie glow.
"So..." Hoseok trailed off.
"Did it hurt," He asked with a more brave tone in his voice.
"For fuck's sake are you going to pull the 'Did it hurt when you fell from heaven' shtick. My answer is no it didn't fucking hurt because the moment I saw your dank ass. I flew all the way back to heaven and made sure to barricade the goddamn gates. I didn't even have my fucking badass wings!" Yoongi scoffed in disbelief. Did he really think that crappy pickup line would work on the great Min Yoongi?!
"For your information, my ass is pretty damn fine and no I'm not using that pickup line. I'm asking if it hurts when you had your ass fucked," Hoseok looked so done, a resting bitch face firmly planted on his features.
"Who ever said I bottomed or even got laid at all?!" Yoongi made frantic hand gestures, blocking the bullshit with his veiny hands.
"Bitch, please are you seriously asking J-hoe over here?" Hoseok pointed at himself, incredulous. "Besides, the hickies fucking invading your awfully pale skin like the goddamn rabbids is a dead give away. The awkward walking was a big hint too. My list of Yoongi-bottomed-for-a-dog can go on for ages," Hoseok had a smug smile on his lips, proud of his discovery.
"I refuse to say I bottomed but maybe we fucked, but just a little more than half-way," Yoongi rambled, he fucking refused to meet the younger's gaze. He'd die, Hoseok could sense these things with his hoedar and he could probably taste the bullshit hanging in the air.
"Bullshit, you know what let me slap this lying hoe for a second," Hoseok stood up and left the room, leaving Yoongi to awkwardly playing with his fingers and fidgeting in his seat.
Hoseok came back with a fish in hand. It looked suspiciously like Yoongi's old hair once upon a time.
"What's the fish fo-" Yoongi wasn't given the chance to finish his sentence before he was being repeatedly smacked across the face by the said fish.
"This" Slap!
"Is" Wham!
"For" Strike!
"Lying" Hit!
"To" Smack!
"Your" Another word for hitting someone with a fish.
"Hope!" Ultimate Fucking Unnecessary Bitch Smack!
Yoongi passed out somewhere between all the nonsensical and egotistical talk Hoseok was spewing atop his unconscious and thoroughly fish abused body.
A few hours had passed, really Yoongi had been awake long ago, he was just too lazy to move. Yeah, that's it. Definitely too lazy. It wasn't the fact that he was handcuffed to what he presumed was a bed, and had a blindfold over his eyes that rendered him unaware of his surroundings.
He heard talking outside the door, but the voices were muffled so he couldn't make out what they were saying but that seriously wasn't the issue at hand.
He struggled against the binds, which was useless since it was just getting him hurt. He could feel the skin get irritated and felt it grind uncomfortably against the cuffs but he refused to submit, he already did enough to last him a lifetime.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Yoongi," Oh hell no.
"You know it really hurt my feelings when you rode my dick with earnest and then threw me in the furnace," Did that bitch really, techically, not really just rhyme.
