I'm Not that Cruel Pt.2 *Showki

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Kihyun sits on the bed as he scans the room with hawk eyes. He's nervous. Everything feels so surreal to him. One minute he's having sex with his boss and the next, he is pregnant. He doesn't even know how it happen. What led to all of this? Most importantly, how is he even pregnant. In the pit of his stomach, there is queasiness. He feels like he might throw up, but not because of the pregnancy symptoms. But because he is disgusted with himself. How can he be a man when he has female body parts inside of him.

There is a particular poster that catches his attention. He eyes it with pure curiosity. He wonders how far along he is and what development stage his baby is at. His eyes follow along the timeline of the poster, where every little dot on the line represents each stage of the baby, each dot, the baby growing bigger and bigger.

He must be so tiny, he thought as he lied down on the bed in slow motion as if he's in a movie, the slowness giving the situation a dramatic effect. His hand went behind his head as he turned around to look at his friends so that he didn't have to keep staring at the poster.

Besides him there was an empty chair carrying his clothes and shoes. Next to the chair, both of his best friends were seated. Hyungwon is wearing his work clothes and is slouched on the chair, his thumb, index and middle finger positioned on his temple, clearly annoyed. To the far left, two inches away from Hyungwon's chair, is Kihyun's other best friend, Minhyuk. Rather than wearing his work clothes, Minhyuk is wearing a plaid shirt under a black, light sweater, jeans and black toms. His hands move around his body as he works on his apology.

Ever since Kihyun's argument with Minhyuk which caused him to push Minhyuk to the floor, Hyungwon has been angry. Hyungwon did not spoke to them for about a week. He would eat with them at their favorite spot in the cafeteria, hang out with them when it was their break but he would not say anything.

At first, Kihyun understood why he didn't speak to them. He was angry at them for fighting. As the week progressed, the silence annoyed him.

It was their first mini fight in a long time and it really wasn't that big of a deal. They just had some disagreements on whether he was really pregnant.

At first, he did not want to believe he was pregnant. At that time, it was more believable that he could have a tumor rather than be pregnant. He had never of a guy getting pregnant. Ever. Hearing such news was a taboo topic. And he feels like it still a taboo topic. No one wants to talk about a guy getting pregnant. That is too delusional and crazy. What such person exits with female body parts and still be a man?

It wasn't because he thinks carrying a child is a horrendous thing? He doesn't think like that at all. He didn't want to be pregnant because his child is going to be shunned and ridiculed by its peers for being born from a guy. The world will not want to accept his child. And he doesn't want that to happen to his child. To not feel loved by the world.

Kihyun did not want to hear or even think that he was pregnant. The topic was forbidden for that first week after he found out. Minhyuk in the other hand, wasn't. He thought it was wonderful and that made Kihyun disagree. Perhaps, that could have been a reason why Hyungwon did not want to speak to them because he could feel the tension between them.

When Minhyuk announced that he had booked an appointment for Kihyun's ultrasound with an OBY-GN, the silence was broken. Hyungwon agreed to come along, making Minhyuk smile. The news didn't make Kihyun smile, however, it made him nervous. Booking an appointment made his pregnancy real. No more hiding, no more pretending that he wasn't pregnant.

And now here he was: lying down on the bed, the vinyl fabric pressed on his exposed back, hearing his two friends bicker. His doctor might come any minute and he feared that all she's going to see is chaos. Kihyun is so nervous that he cant even stop them from arguing with each other.

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