Mentors - A Joshler Fic

Chapter 33

It felt as though I lived inside of a time warp because time seemed to move so slowly but also it seemed to move insanely fast. The fastness was exhilarating like a roller coaster but also scary like a roller coaster. School was nearing it’s end and then the summer stretched before us like the beacon of sunshine and fun that it was, but looming on the other side of that beacon of light was the fall. When fall came Josh would go off to college and I’d go back to high school all alone. I was terrified, but I think I hid it well. I tried not to think of it too much because when I did I would work myself up into a panic attack. I mean it difficult to reconcile at the time because besides this looming reality my life was going so well. I was happier than I’d ever been, my meds were finally straightened out and therapy was going really great. I felt like I actually had friends, all of Josh’s friends had adopted me and at first I was afraid they were just hanging out with me as a favor to Josh. But Josh assured me and everyone of them went out of their way to assure me and it meant a lot to me. It meant a lot to me that they weren’t annoyed by my constant need for validation.
I hadn’t cut in two months, there were a few slip ups after my brother’s death and Josh was so caring and understanding and didn’t even get mad at me. I think I was the hardest on myself because I had so much self hatred for what I did but my mind still made me do it. I cried a lot. It brought out a lot of the same feelings I had felt when my mother died. It took a few sessions with April to feel better again but I was in a good spot once again and I was truly grateful for that. One day when the weather was nice Josh dragged me outside to play soccer with him. Now I hated sports with a burning passion, I’d been made fun of for being so bad all throughout elementary school and middle school. Resulting in one time a kid threatening to knock me over because I missed the ball once when we were playing volleyball. This had long since instilled in me not only a hatred of sports but also a lot of anxiety and fear for gym class. But Josh begged me to play with him and he assaulted me with the puppy dog eyes and who am I kidding I was weak against those eyes. So I begrudgingly followed him out to the backyard making no effort to hide my disdain.
“Aw come on Tyler it won’t be so bad. Besides I’ve watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show like five times with you, and I’m sorry but I don’t really care for the movie.” “Not even the Time Warp? Or Rocky’s abs?” “Time Warp is alright and frankly Rocky does nothing for me.” I looked mildly offended at his opinion on one of my favorite films of all time. “Come on babe, no need to pout even though you look really sexy when you’re mad.” “Then I must be pretty hot right now.” “You’re always hot.” “Shut up.” “Never.” He stopped in the middle of the yard and faced me. He held up the soccer ball up in the air and spoke to me. “So this is what we call a soccer ball,” he said talking very slowly to tease me.” I glared at him. “Fuck you,”
I said unamused. He laughed. “Okay okay. Let's get serious and play some football as the rest of the world would say.” Josh tossed the ball in the air and kept hitting it up in the air with his knees before gently kicking it in my direction. I kicked it with all my might and to my surprise it went flying past him and he looked surprised. “Damn great kick. Maybe there’s hope for you yet.” He made me do all sorts of drills and by the time he said we were finished I swore I was melting by the amount of sweat that poured from my body. I collapsed on the ground and groaned. “I think I’m gonna die.” “That’s the feeling of a workout,” Josh said laughing a little as he stood before me barely a drop of sweat on him and his breathing steady unlike my shallow gasps for air. “Come one babe, you need a nice cold shower,” Josh told me as he offered his hand to help me up.
I grabbed his hand and he pulled me up from the ground and he basically held me up as we walked up to the bathroom. Josh began making me practice with him once or twice a week and after the first time I dare say I even began to enjoy myself, but I didn’t tell Josh. Josh was really supportive and helpful and I felt my own confidence begin to increase and believe it or not that was half of my struggle. Once I gained some confidence I saw a big improvement in the way I played. Between school, homework, therapy, and our new soccer practice schedule Josh and I were busy. We were so busy that it surprised me when one Saturday night Josh came bounding into our bedroom at seven o’clock that night saying he had a surprise for me. I looked up from my notebook where I had been writing some poetry and stared at him. “What?” “I have a surprise for you babe. Get dressed.” He was referring to the fact that I only wore a pair of boxers since I’d showered a little earlier and hadn’t felt like dressing. “Okay…”
I said standing up. “But could you tell me where we’re going?” “If I told then it wouldn’t be a surprise silly.” “You and you’re technicalities.” “But you love me.” “Oh that I do, but sometimes you’re an annoying asshole.” “But lucky for me you love assholes.” “Fuck you.” “Okay.” I just gave him a look and scrambled to find a pair of pants and shirt to wear. Once I was dressed we headed out the door waving goodbye to his parents. Once we were on the road I began asking him questions about our destination but he was mum on the subject. Finally when we turned on this one road I knew where we were going because there was only one place on this road. “The beach!” “Yup, you guessed right. Ten points for Tyler Joseph.”
We pulled into the parking lot and Josh went and grabbed something from the back of the car. It was a basket, we held hands as we walked the short distance down the hill to the waterfront. Josh opened the basket and spread out a blanket on the sand for us to sit on. I sat down and Josh pulled me to sit in between his legs so I could lean against him. “I realized it had been a while since we’d taken some time to go on a proper date and I felt as though that needed to happen soon. So I figured since the weather is warming up we should take advantage of that and come watch the sunset.”
“This is amazing Josh. You seem to always outdo yourself, and spoil me to death.” “I’m your boyfriend that my job to spoil you.” “I love you Josh.” “I Love you more.” “No I love you more.” “Um that’s impossible because I love you more.” “No I love --” He interrupted me by trailing a line of kisses down the back of my neck making me stop mid sentence. “You don’t play fair,” I said breathlessly. “Nope. I’m a very naughty boy.” “So naughty.” “What are you gonna do about that?” “I have some ideas…,” I said gulping as I felt his hand trailing down my thigh. “Show me then.” “Okay.” he didn’t have to tell me twice. And so we completely missed the romantic sunset because we fucked on the beach.