Under the Radar

Don't Think of What Never Was

In the car, I called Katy and Vy to let them know what was going on. Headmaster called me when I got home. He had a lot of questions but that was to be expected. His best agent just quit in the middle of a mission. I would've had a lot of questions too if I were him. The jet was coming to pick me up tomorrow. When I got in the house, Caroline engulfed me in a hug. I figured Benny called her when I was on the road. I was being an emotional wreck and it wasn't helping anyone.

"Oh sweetie, I'm sorry," Caroline said softly. I sniffled and cleared my throat.

"I'm fine," I said pulling away from her. "I'm leaving tomorrow and this will all be over." I sighed and walked up to my room. I started packing my bags immediately. My phone rang a few times. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now, so I just let it ring. When I finished packing, I went downstairs and started flipping through channels mindlessly as I rested my head on my hand on the side of the couch. Caroline came down and sat next to me.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly. I shrugged and continued to flip through the channels. She sighed and turned off the TV. "No one expects you to be perfect Marissa. You're only a teenager; it's not a crime if you like someone. I'm married and still an agent. It's okay to like someone."

"But it's not okay to like a mission subject," I sighed. She chuckled softly.

"My husband was one of my mission subjects. He was actually my first mission subject when I joined UAA, and I've been with him ever since," she smiled. "I know you might think that no one understands, but I do. I was put in this situation... almost exactly. I couldn't find a way to leave Dylan though. I stayed with him as long as I could." She shrugged and sat back down next to me.

"What happened?" I asked curiously. I sat up and leaned forward a bit; engrossed in the conversation. She frowned and looked down at her hands.

"They took me off the mission. They said I was interfering and sent me back to Headquarters," she said sadly. She smiled softly then. "But Dylan wouldn't have it. He was better off with me than without me, and UAA soon saw that. They sent me back for the mission and, long story short, I saved him and he ended up proposing. We've been together ever since." She smiled at me.

I frowned as I thought about my own situation. Matt would be fine without me. There would be no point in me coming back. That would never happen to us. I looked back up to her when she placed her hand on her stomach.

"This is actually my last mission. I'll be having a baby soon, so I'm retiring early and settling down to have a family with Dylan," she smiled down at her stomach and then looked back up to me. "My point is, everything will work out in the end. If you are supposed to be with Matt, you'll be with him. If not, it just wasn't meant to be. Fate has a funny way of putting people together." She smiled as she stood. She squeezed my arm gently before she turned and left me to my thoughts.

I knew she was right; I would be with Matt if I was supposed to be. I grunted, frustrated, and went upstairs to double check everything. I didn't know how the future was going to look. The future was uncertain, and that's something I did not like. After I checked all of my things for the third time, I went to sleep. My day had been exhausting, and I was just ready to get this all over with.

~

The next morning, Caroline helped me pack the car and drove me to the runway where the jet was waiting for me. I thanked Caroline quickly with a hug and reluctantly boarded the jet. Without my roommates to keep me company this time, I took a quick nap. I was landing at Headquarters in no time. Headmaster met me when I landed. He gave me a sympathetic smile and took my bags himself.

"Nobody can do everything, Marissa," he said encouragingly. I sighed as I walked back into the building with him.

"But I should've been able to do this," I muttered. He sighed, giving up on trying to cheer me up.

"There's always another mission, and you show so much potential," Headmaster said anyway. We reached my room and he set my bags in a corner. He cleared his throat and I looked up to him from my seat in a chair. "Would you like to teach today's Kuk Sol Won class? The kids love your instruction." He smiled warmly. I smiled back half-heartedly and nodded.

"I'll be down in a second. I'll just change first," I smiled. When he left, I sighed and took the fake smile off of my face. I got dressed in my uniform quickly and headed downstairs to the Kuk Sol Won Mat room. The class was filled with younger students; most of them ranging in age from six to eleven. I smiled as the kids enjoyed their lesson. I even gave them stickers for breaking the boards. A few moved up a belt, but most were still a blue belt.

Afterwards, I went back up to my room and changed into casual clothes before I went down to the lounge area. I popped popcorn into my mouth as I watched TV. The class really had cheered me up. One of my friends, Derrick, came and sat down next to me. Taking some of my popcorn, he watched TV with me. The fun of the class was starting to wear off of me, and sadness swept over me again. I was sad and frustrated and a bit angry at myself.  He looked over to me and knew something was up. Derrick's power was that he could sense a person's mood.

"What happened?" he asked turning all of his attention to me. I put some more popcorn in my mouth and my heart broke thinking about Matt. I sighed and closed my eyes as I waited for the ache to leave my chest. Derrick held his chest a little.

"Oh," Derrick said knowingly. "You fell in love on that mission, didn't you?" Derrick asked. With my eyes still closed, I nodded hesitantly.

"But I'm fine. I'll... be okay. What's done is done and I have to keep moving," I said opening my eyes. He looked at me carefully and shook his head.

"I've known you long enough to know that you don't mean that. This is tearing you up, huh?" Derrick said. Sighing, I gave up denying it and nodded. I closed my eyes and tears streamed down my face against my will. He pulled me in and hugged me. "It'll ease up and everything will work out. You'll see." He comforted me. I sighed and kept my eyes closed as I hugged him back.

Derrick was right, it did ease up. After two weeks, it was a smaller ache. I checked in with Katy and Vy every day. Vy would give me the tactics and facts of the mission, while Katy would tell me how Matt was. From what she told me, he missed me just as much as I missed him, if not more.

Headmaster kept me busy whenever he could by assigning me small missions. More often than not, he would ask me to teach martial arts and special abilities classes. The students apparently took a liking to me teaching them. I was always too busy now to really have time to think about anything else.

You can imagine my surprise when I came back to my room from teaching and Vy and Katy were unpacking their bags. Katy immediately squealed and squeezed me in a hug.

"Marissa!" she squealed. I hugged her back a bit surprised. I looked over to see Vy smirking at us.

"What happened? Why are you guys back?" I asked happily confused. Vy chuckled.

"We nabbed the guy when he tried to take Matt from the guys' restroom at school. We turned him in and completed the mission, so now we're back... naturally," she smiled. Vy looked happy with herself. I sighed a bit contently and brokenly at the same time. I certainly wouldn't see Matt again, but I was happy that he was safe now. I kind of wished that they would need me again, but it was over now.