Talking To The Moon [z.m.]

18: Maybe You're Right

Faith's POV

I stayed silent after Zayn finished his rant. He took a breath afterwards and waited for me to reply to him.

I didn't know what to say. I was too affected by his words that I couldn't think of a response. All I could say was that the tears were stinging my eyes.

"You might think I'm crazy," I spoke after moments of silence. "And I'm lost and foolish for leaving you behind and maybe you're right, but this is me. I'm the one to blame for putting us into this, all of this. I don't regret Alex, I never will. And I'll always love you, Zayn." I whispered.

His expression was hard, not affected by my words. I was so close to letting it all out, letting out all the tears but as soon as I saw the emotion in his eyes I knew that he believed me.

"You can blame me for who I am." I said. "This is all my fault and I'm sorry for leading you on." I cried.

"I'm really sorry."

I watched as his mouth opened in shock and despair. I could see him wanting to hug me but he stood back, not wanting to make this any harder for either of us.

"But just remember I meant everything that I said. Everything I've ever told you came straight from my heart and I want you to remember that. Nothing I've said to you was a lie."

Lie.

"Are you sure about that?" He asked harshly, his face stone cold.

I gulped, knowing that he could see through me more than I could see through myself.

Zayn shook his head, rubbing his face with both hands and he shocked me when he stopped rubbing his face and I could see tears in his eyes.

How could I? I thought. I should have never met him. I should have never fallen for him. I shouldn't have pushed him in the first place. None of this would've been happening if it weren't for you.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." I cried.

"Well you did. You are." His voice cracked as he let the tears fall out of his eyes.

My heart shredded into pieces. I was a monster. A monster who hurt everyone around them and didn't deserve anyone.

"I don't even know what I did wrong." He cried, placing his hands on his face again. "I mean, I know what I did wrong but how could you leave me when I've given you every part of me? How could you throw everything away?"

Because what I did was wrong!! I wanted to scream. Because I risked something important to both of us and I can't let you know because I know you'll want to kill me as soon as you find out what I've been hiding..

"I just want to what I did wrong. I want to know why you let me go."

He stepped closer to me, his eyes begging. "Please, Faith. Tell me what I did to make you lose your love for me."

My heart clenched at his words. I haven't lost any love for him.

Instead it grew, and right now all I wanted to do was hug him and assure him that everything between us would be okay.

But it wasn't going to be okay.. And I couldn't add another lie I've told him anymore. I had to be honest with him and sometimes being honest hurts but at least he knows the truth, even though it's not all of it.

"Please Faith," he begged, and my eyes opened in shock and he got down to his knees, still crying. "Tell me and I won't do the same mistake again. I'll make you fall in love with me again, just please don't leave me."