Kill Our Way to Heaven (Jikook) ✔

Chapter 47

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 47
"ᴄᴏʟᴅ ʜᴀɴᴅꜱ, ᴄᴏʟᴅᴇʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ"

Jimin had always underestimated breathing. When he was an angel he could breathe without a problem, he didn't tire, always a tad stronger than any human. He didn't need to catch his breath even after flying around half the planet. Now every breath he took was heavy beyond compare. There was a weight at the pit of his lungs that he had never felt before. It put him in a constant state of lightheadedness and made his chest ache.

His entire body was aching, especially his heart and his mind, both feeling as if they were torn apart from the inside out. It was a pain he had never felt before, and it was weighing down on him more than anything he could've ever imagined. It made his stomach twist and his head ache. His legs were no longer strong enough to support him, slowly breaking apart underneath him. At first, he could push through but now he could hardly stand up. Jimin knew that it was only a matter of time before his grief would kill him completely, before the cold in his fingertips would reach his heart and freeze it shut.

The consequences of his actions were starting to catch up with him more and more. After all, he had done this to himself, although he kept questioning where he would've found the strength to let go. There was a reason angels were only supposed to fall in love with God; it was because they couldn't lose him. He was a constant in the existence of the universe and He wouldn't be undone until the world would end. Their loyalty for Him wouldn't end until they would end.

Jungkook, however, was a different story. He wasn't just a figure of loyalty. He had made Jimin feel, he had made Jimin love on his own accord. The angel had loved and he had lost, and it all hurt like hell. It was a dull pain, always present and weighing down on his chest together with the guilt building upon his shoulders. Still, the pain was sharp, stabbing him and making him unable to breathe every time he looked at Jungkook's now pale body.

He didn't have the strength to leave, both mentally and physically. He had done this. He had caused Jungkook's demise and he had made himself vulnerable. Now, he had to pay for it. It was suffering which ended in death, that was his punishment. It was the same punishment Jungkook got.

Another teardrop ran down his cheek. It seemed like an endless river. Ever since he saw Jungkook's lifeless body in that chair he hadn't stopped crying. His cheeks were raw and red from the irritation but he couldn't bring himself to stop. He had never cried this much before, hardly any angel had. He wasn't accustomed to the feeling of the cold against his dull cheeks. Every teardrop seemed to burn him.

In between his shaky breaths, another sound rang through the room; the door creaked. Jimin could feel his neck ache just at the small movement of turning around. In the opening stood both the last person he wanted to meet right now and the only person he wanted to meet right now.

"You?" Jimin asked with a hoarse voice.

The elder walked closer, closing the door behind him. There was no way out. The angel's eyes immediately fell on the weapon he was carrying. Jimin wouldn't fight him. If Yoongi were to attack he would just take it, he deserved it. But his eyes weren't on the younger.

Yoongi just looked at the lifeless boy on the bed. His eyes softened and watered. To say he didn't feel anything whilst looking at the dead boy was a lie. He felt just the same as Jimin, but he had survived it before.

He couldn't help but walk forward and let his fingers drag over the boy's face. His skin was cold and pale, but his expression was peaceful despite what torture was coming down on his soul. Yoongi stroked a hair out of the younger's face, even those were slowly falling apart. Grief and anger welled up inside him at the sight of the broken boy. He could feel his breathing getting rougher. He wasn't aware how harshly he was gripping the knife when he turned around to face Jimin, or how much wrath was showing in his grimace.

"Go ahead. Kill me." Jimin suddenly spoke up. His voice was cracking and soft but due to the immense silence in the room, it was just loud enough to be heard. Tears were welling up in his eyes again, only further illuminating the red in them.

"I killed him. I brought him to Heaven. I thought he would be safe up there but I only made it worse. I brought him to his death... It's all my fault..." Jimin rambled. Even though he had had enough time to rearrange his thoughts all that he was saying was incoherent. They were still loose on a tangent.

"No," Yoongi said, gazing at the broken angel before him.

"Please, t-the demons won't do it. They'll see me suffer and just leave me be, the other angels won't kill me either, I can't do it myself, and humans can't either. You're the only one who can," Jimin explained.

"No," Yoongi simply said. His tone was emotionless. He didn't even look at Jimin. His gaze just travelled around the room.

"Why? I understand I deserve to suffer, but please, let it end," Jimin pleaded, letting some more tears roll down his cheeks. 

"No," Yoongi said in the same emotionless tone.

Jimin put his elbows on his knees and pulled his hair. Sobs wracked his body, his organs crunching with each breath. The man looked nothing like an angel anymore. His carefree, soft aura had made way for grief and despair. There was nothing left anymore of the man he once was. Physically and mentally, he was completely broken. "But it just hurts so much. It physically hurts, Yoongi," he sobbed in between breaths.

Every time he breathed in he could feel the air in his bronchus get contaminated. His lungs were pressed together, only allowing him to get just enough air to stop him from fainting, yet feel breathless and as if he was drowning every single breath, leaving him clawing for oxygen. His heart was no different, constantly beating erratically but at the same time slowing down to a pace just fast enough to keep him alive. That was all his body was doing right now, lengthening his life but slowly worsening until there was no escape left.

Yoongi kneeled down in front of Jimin and put his hands on his arms. The younger looked up and met his gaze. It was almost pity-full. For a moment Jimin wondered how the elder could feel sympathy towards him. He had killed someone so close to him. Jimin knew the relationship he and Jungkook had, he knew what he had ruined. But after all of that, Yoongi still held understanding in his eyes.

"I know it does, but I won't kill you. I won't because I still need you to do something for me," he explained. Jimin looked at him in interest, or more so despair. He longed for death at this point. There was nothing worse that Yoongi could ask of him.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked.

"Those bastards killed someone very dear to me, I won't let them get away with that," Yoongi promised. "I'm going to get Jungkook back, and I want you to go with me. Last time I went alone and I barely made it out alive. Maybe if there's two of us at least one will make it out with Jungkook. I think we can both agree that we value that boy's life above our own."

Jimin met his gaze before nodding. There was only slight fear in his eyes. "You mean..." he started.

"Hell," Yoongi finished. Jimin just nodded. He didn't need to think. Yoongi was right, he valued Jungkook's life far above his own. He would burn in Hell with a resting heart if he knew that would keep his lover safe. This was his only chance at redemption.

"I'll go with you," the younger promised before looking up again. His tears had stopped.

"Thank you," Yoongi said. It seemed as if the words were hard to pronounce for him, they were almost foreign. Jimin looked just as shocked at the tones as the elder.

"Get some sleep, Jimin. You'll need your strength. We leave tomorrow," Yoongi said, standing up.

"Angels don't need sleep," Jimin said. Yoongi simply pulled at his arms, holding the broken angel up.

"Grief-ridden angels do," he stated, helping him out of the room.

Leaving Jungkook behind felt wrong, but they both knew that if they didn't take their distance now, neither of them would have enough strength to pull him back out. They had already accepted that not all three would make it out alive. They just hoped that Jungkook would be the one that would.

──────────────────

I have to travel back to the Netherlands tomorrow because I have a resit on Thursday so I will be studying and driving a whole lot. We'll see about updates but I'm gonna try and keep the schedule because this is a really nail-biting point to leave it on.