Three A.M.

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I scared myself a bit with this poem so imma make everyone I'm a bit scared (or give them ideas for something in books) either way pls don't unfollow me I swear I won't come for you
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It's so hard to let go
Of the things I left behind
The happiest days of my life have disappeared

It's so hard to hold on
To the things that keep me sane
I don't know where to go from here

It's so hard to be good
When you accept that you're bad
I can't remember how to be sincere

It's so hard to stay true
To yourself when you're alone
And suicidal thoughts ring in your ear

Yet I have time to live
And I have time to heal
Time to remember
Time to feel

And even though it's all gone
And everything is crumbling
To dust
I must

Do something
Just anything
To keep me well aware
That people are still there
And with every threat,
I can not forget
To stay in control
Don't let my anger unfold

And though it's true
That I'm not perfect
It's not like anyone else is
No matter how flawless they seem
They won't ever be redeemed

It's so hard to stay strong
To repress all the tears
I'm not who you expect at all

It's so hard to keep up
With advanced everything
I'm always the one to take the damn fall

It's so hard to believe
That there is someone above
If there is, just give us some kind of call

It's so hard to live with
People who think they're great
I just want to throw them down the hall

No time to show some feelings
No time to catch up
No time to try to not believe it
No time to give a fuck

And even though I am crazy
And I know it's in my head
The crust
Has bust

And even though it makes me no better than them, I still want to.

I want to grab a knife and stab them
Put a bullet in their brain
Bawl their eyes out, tape their mouth
I swear I'm not insane
Give them ten ounces of gasoline
And even though it's mean
I want to bury them alive
I want to watch them die

Make sure all their food is rotten
Make sure no flaws are forgotten
Slice them in half with a chainsaw
They have pulled on my last straw

Yeah this might sound a bit loco
But sometimes what I say will go
Fuck an alligator sideways
Everyone will die when I say

Fall into a pit of snakes
Choke on a gardening rake
Fly straight into the sun
For you it'll be so much fun

Jump into a damn volcano
I know you'll be the next John Doe
Hug a train that's moving quickly
Or a cactus, it's real prickly

Kill the person in the mirror
Then it would be so much clearer
I think you won't survive if you
Swallow eighty pounds of tissue.

Overdose a bunch over thrice
Put some poison in your rice
Wear a meat suit by some lions
You would know if I was lying

I could try and keep on going
I could think if ways to kill them
But I'll tell you: This's what happens
When you wake me up at three fucking a.m.

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