I remember when I was in kindergarten.
I wasn't the popular girl who grew up to be a bitch.
I wasn't the teachers pet, I wasnt the happiest child, and I wasnt a snitch.
I was the kid who just blended in into the crowd but things get loud and one mistake was all it took to go from okay to terrible.
Of course, no one else remembered that.
I remember in 3rd grade when I was just a slave to my heart that never broke apart. I was more friendly when I had my first crush: a twin. And it was only him I wanted to win because switching from one to the other was just a disrespectful move; a sin.
And later on, I did end up winning him as a friend and nothing more and the moment I realized that my heart didnt break was the moment I realized I wasnt even in love with him in the first place. But we were 8 years old, no one remembers that.
Fifth grade became a loner. I didn't talk because I didn't know the words but I didn't know the words because I didn't talk. Either I was crying but pretending to be sleep or dying to pretend to not be weak. And while the bitches talked about old shit that used to be related to me but now ive just moved on and erased it from my conversations but not my memories. Yet that was a whole two schools ago, so no one remembers that.
Seventh grade I had me two best friends and they both moved away, leaving me behind like a empty and broken toy doll in a playhouse. I don't really talk to them anymore. I mean I want to talk to them and hug them and see their faces and it won't be through a screen so I can see their smiles and mess up their hair and laugh with them and have fun. That's all just a memory now, no one remembers it.
And no one ever will.
People just repress the bad memories they want to go away and leave the good memories and lies to stay.
But deep down they know if never fades, it only decays and so each time you remember it it's a bit more swayed. But those are just bad memories, no one remembers them, okay?!
