Usually, I'm a pretty straight-forward and talkative person if I know you.
If you know me, you'd know I'm suicidal, too.
Suffocating didn't work
And I just lie to everyone else.
Even more to myself.
My feelings don't work
Don't be sad. Can't you see
That the void would be filled if you don't have me.
My mind never works
I go to roofs because I'm not scared of heights.
But then, I don't jump because it gives me a fright.
Jumping didn't work.
The ones by me try to cheer me up
I just fake a smile thinking "what the fuck"
Lying doesn't work
My family should know about how depressed I am.
But then they'd pull up all that bullshit like "I understand"
My life doesn't work
I hate being social for a reason.
Mostly I'll struggle to not kill them all season.
Killing didn't work
I love to just close the door and snap into tears.
Ironically, that's when my sadness disappears.
Ice cream doesn't work
They say there's a difference between living and existing
It depends on who's talking
Understanding didn't work
I wish my life wasn't full of shit.
Now all the time I want to quit.
Self-hatred didn't work
I tried to tell them without saying a word
But my hand went up and flipped the bird
Gestures didn't work
Someone has to know how I feel
Being forced to eat every single meal
Avoiding doesn't work
I'll be snapping and snapping all day and never stop
Now I need more because they all popped
Rubber bands don't work
I just want to be happy and laugh.
Yet my bullshitty life has its own wrath.
Happiness.
Doesn't.
Work.
...
...
My apologies, my friends, I've been absent lately
My bad for being a maniac
I'll try to come on more greatly
(That is, if life doesn't stab me in the back)
