this took too long to write i am sorry also wow i'm gay for aster k have fun reading btw smut warning
Josh
"And you just left her there?" Jenna practically yelled at me.
"I just needed to breathe Jenna." I tried to defend myself.
"So you step away from the conversation for a second and breathe you don't just walk out! Josh she's recovering from not just a car accident but also her past. She's trying her best to love again and it's hard because she's got this ingrained fear that you'll leave so she's trying to make it happen faster so that she can just deal with it and wallow again. You're letting her push you away and you just walked out on her. Not to mention she's still blind!"
"Well when you put it that way you make me sound like an asshole." I frowned.
"Because you are an asshole!" She sighed exasperatedly. "Aster loves you and you love her but she's going through a lot of shit. Love isn't easy, you gotta work for it."
"Well what am I supposed to do?" I questioned, honestly confused. "I came here to talk about this with Tyler and now I'm getting a psych eval from his wife."
"You know Tyler would say the same thing you idiot. He's probably just add 'dude' and 'bro' in it a couple times." I groaned in frustration knowing that Jenna was right. I fucked up.
"How many more times do I have to tell you. Go home and apologize and talk it out. There's a lot you need to sort out and help her through." Jenna explained for the millionth time.
"Okay," I said with a huff as I stood from the couch, "I'm gonna go work this out."
"You better, and I'll know if you don't. Aster tells me everything."
"Everything?"
"Everything." She nodded with a knowing look. "Now go!" She demanded practically shoving me out of the front door.
The ride home was terrifying. I didn't know what would happen when I got there. The situation could go anywhere and that scared me, the uncertainty.
When I got home it was completely silent except for the clang of my keys on the counter and my shoes thumping on the floor as I kicked them off.
"Aster?" I called into the house but got no reply. When I realized she wasn't sitting on the couch like we were earlier I started to panic.
"Aster?" I called again louder this time as I searched through the apartment only to find her in our room yawning and rubbing at her eyes as she sat in bed.
"Josh?" She asked sleepily, somehow still looking gorgeous after she woke up. "Wait no, I'm supposed to be upset go away." She said slightly more awake as she threw a pillow blindly towards where she thought I was.
"Did you walk in here all by yourself, you could have hurt yourself."
"Josh I'm blind, not an old lady on a life alert commercial." She rolled her eyes and played with the comforter that was bunched up around her legs.
"Just be careful, I don't want you do get hurt." I said as I sat down on the bed.
"Why should you care if you don't even care enough to finish a conversation." She shot back crossing her arms.
"Okay what I did was completely wrong and childish. I was just upset and frustrated and didn't know what I was doing."
"Well you should have thought about your actions before you just walked out on me."
"Aster the whole argument just popped up so fast and I wasn't thinking." She stayed quiet and chewed on her lip and I could see tears starting to well up in her eyes. "Aw, baby don't cry." I went to go hug her but she pushed me away.
"I just love you so fucking much Josh! And I'm so scared that I'm gonna fuck things up like I did with Daniel and lose you! I mean I'm already blind, I don't know how that hasn't changed your mind yet!" She spilled as the tears began to run down her cheeks.
"Aster what happened between you and Daniel wasn't your fault and neither is any of this." I reassured. "I'm never leaving you don't you see that."
"Well obviously I don't."
"God dammit Aster this isn't the time for jokes I'm in love with you. I'm so madly and deeply in love with you and nothing is going to change that. No conflict or injury or criticism will change that." I spoke as I held her face and wiped away her tears.
She sighed, "That's what you say now."
"Aster I'm not Daniel, god dammit."
"I know you're not!" She yelled squeezing her eyes shut. "You're in every way better than him and I love you in a whole better way than I ever thought I loved him and I'm just so scared to lose you because you don't love me the same."
I was biting harshly at the insides of my cheeks and felt my jaw clench. For some reason my words weren't getting through to her. I took her face into my hands again and crashed my lips against her in a frustrated frenzy.
She gripped onto my shoulders in shock as I pulled away. "What was that?"
"I love you god dammit," I muttered pressing another passionate kiss to her lips that she responded to. "I love you so much." I clarified in between kisses that slowly traveled down her jaw.
"Josh," She gasped as I reached her neck and began to harshly suck a bruise into her skin. "God dammit Josh we were h-having a conversation." She stuttered as she ran her fingers through my hair and slightly tugged.
"Almost 3 months you were in a coma," i mumbled against her skin, "and I was forced to go travel the world, to play music, knowing that my girlfriend was in the hospital and could die at any moment or wake up and I wouldn't be there. There wasn't a moment I wasn't thinking about you."
"And then when you woke up and you didn't remember me I couldn't kiss you. And I was there everyday helping you walk and just waiting for you to remember and when you did I still couldn't kiss you the way I wanted to. I couldn't hold you, I couldn't cuddle you, I couldn't touch you the way I wanted to cause you were stuck on that damn hospital; but I waited till I could bring you home. I waited because I love you and now," I paused noticing her staggered breathing and flushed cheeks, "Now you're all mine."
"I'm always your's." She sighed pulling me up to meet her lips.
She kicked the sheets down the bed and out of the way. "Where are your pants?"
She shrugged, "I kicked them off somewhere when I went to take a nap."
"You could have tripped on them, you gotta be careful." I scolded.
"Are you actually about to lecture me about not wearing pants, cause I'm pretty sure you prefer me without." She teased laid back on the bed pulling me to hover over her.
"Mm," I hummed against her skin, "Maybe you're right about that."
She wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled me forward to press our hips together. "Well how about you confirm my assumptions." She whispered and leaned up to kiss just under my jaw.
"I thought we were having a conversation." I teased.
"Shut up or I'm calling Jenna and going out." She threatened and tugged at my shirt.
"You're not going anywhere." I growled pulling the shirt over my head and going to remove her sweater.
She reached to unbutton my jeans but I swatted her hand away. "What?" She asked confused.
"This is about you," I spoke before pressing kisses down her chest and stomach. "I'll show you how much I love you."
"Let me show you how much I love you!" She complained and reached for my pants again.
"Nope!" I refused and pinned her hands above her so that she couldn't try again. "All. About. You." I said between sucking bruises into her skin.
She threw her head back in defeat and let out a high pitched sigh while squirming underneath me. "You're a fucking tease, you know?" She complained wriggling her wrists.
"Oh really?" I smirked and went to snap the waistband of her panties earning a loud gasp.
She pulled her wrists from my grip and tugged me down into a kiss and pulled my jeans down. She moaned as I ground my hips down to hers and looped her legs around my waist to bring me closer.
"God Josh, I just want you, please." She begged.
"Oh," I kissed down her neck, chest and stomach t just above her panties before hooking my fingers into them and pushing them down her legs. Her breath hitched as I traced my fingers along her inner thigh before pushing them into her and watching her back arch up off the bed.
"Josh please," She and fisted the sheets beneath her.
"I kind of like it when you beg," I teased and pressed a kiss to her lips.
She moaned into the kiss causing me to smirk and pull my fingers from her as she whined from the loss of contact. She hurriedly pushed down my boxers and flipped us so that she was straddling me.
"I'm done with your teasing," She smirked as she lined herself up with me before easing herself down.
I groaned at the feeling before she started to grind against me. I thrusted up to her to meet her causing her to gasp and place her hands on my chest for support.
"Fuck," I groaned, not being able to think of any coherent words past the sounds of Aster's moans. Soon after she released a loud moan as her body tensed and spasmed, me following close behind before she collapsed on my chest.
We laid there for a while catching our breaths before she rolled off of my chest to my side. I wrapped my arms around her and ran my fingers through her hair, admiring her glow from our previous actions.
"You know we still have to talk." She sighed as she traced shapes blindly on my chest.
"After some rest, I promise. We're both worn out." I chuckled tiredly. She let out a breathy giggle and shut her eyes, slowing her breathing. "You know I love you right?" I interrupted the silence.
She nodded. "I know," she sighed, "I love you too, a lot."
I pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose which she scrunched up and stuck her tongue out at me. "Go to sleep dork." She yawned snuggling closer to me.
"Sleep tight nerd." I retorted.
"That was a lame comeback."
"I'm tired I can't think right now." I complained.
She giggled once more before hushing me, "Sleep."
"I love you." I pestered her once more."
She squeezed her arms that were wrapped around me once more, "I love you too."
