Aster
"Josh, what the fuck!" I shouted into the apartment as I stubbed my toe on another foreign object that was definitely not there yesterday.
"What?" He shouted back scrambling to find me.
"Are you moving the furniture around? Cause I'll actually fall every second of the day if you don't tell me." I said as I latched onto his arm, letting him weave me through the obstacles I couldn't dodge on my own.
"I just got a couple of things," He dodged the question.
"Things?" I asked again as he carefully helped me sit at what I recognized to be the kitchen table.
"It's a surprise." He brushed off and set something in front of me and took my hands to wrap them around the object. I recognized the mug and took a sip of the coffee, settling back into my seat.
"We need to talk," I spoke hesitantly, playing with the handle on the mug.
"I know." He reached across the table to hold onto one on my hands. "Whenever you're ready."
I focused on the feeling of his hand in mine and let out a sigh. "I'm just really scared."
"Of what?" He questioned and squeezed my hand lightly.
"I don't know, everything?" I frowned and rested my head on my other hand.
"Start with one thing at a time," he suggested.
I nodded and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to piece together all the thoughts bouncing through my mind. "What if I don't see ever again?"
"Well, I hope that doesn't happen but if it does I won't abandon you. I'll help you through it in any way I can."
"I don't want to be your crippled girlfriend that's holding you back from living your life, that's just not fair to you at all."
"You aren't holding me back Aster. There is literally nothing I would rather be doing than sitting here with you." He reassured.
"Josh there has to be something that bothers you!" I groaned in frustration.
"The only thing that bothers me is that you think there is something that is going to make me leave you." He explained while leaving his fingers with mine.
"Josh I'm-" I choked on my words. "I'm just not perfect. I'm a second hand soulmate, I lost a baby, my only family left hates me, there's just so many things that are wrong with me that you shouldn't have to deal with."
"I'm not 'dealing' with it Aster. I'm loving you and every part of you, even your past or your imperfections. Nothing will make me leave. Anyone will have to pry you from my cold, dead hands." He spoke before pressing a kiss to my knuckles. I sniffled and wiped away a few stray tears that fell from my eyes. "If you want, we could go talk to someone professionally."
I shook my head, "No I'm okay." I composed myself and focused on the feeling of the warmth from Josh's hand once again. "I'm okay, I know what I need to work through. I'll be okay."
"You know I'm always here for you, right?" He questioned.
"Yeah, I know; and I'll definitely need you." I nodded.
"Good, we'll get through it together." I nodded again as his words as he squeezed my hand again.
"I love you." I smiled, finally calming down from my small breakdown.
"I love you too." He stood up and placed a lingering kiss on my forehead that I giggled at.
"My coffee is cold, reheat it for me in the microwave?" I pleaded holding out the now lukewarm drink.
"Anything for my princess." He replied in a posh accent and took the cup from me to set it in the microwave for a zapping of radiation.
"You're cheesy." I teased.
"Yeah, but you like it." He teased back and placed the warm mug back in front of me. "Do you have anything else you wanna talk through?"
"Do you?" I questioned back.
"I mean, yeah kinda."
"What is it?" I asked feeling a bubble of anxiety rise in my chest.
"The fact that you brought up having kids." He spoke quickly and I could hear his rapid tapping on the table.
"Oh." I felt heat rising to my cheeks, completely forgetting that I brought that up. "W-what about it?"
"Like," he sighed, "I don't know like why so suddenly? Is that something you're thinking about soon or-"
"Maybe? I don't know I was just thinking about it. I didn't want to like hold you back from touring and stuff." I blurted.
"Well-" Josh's finger tapping got faster and I could tell he was nervous so I reached over and held one of his hands. He squeezed in response before speaking again, "I mean, we only have a few hometown shows and festivals to play before we go on a break to work on music and take a break from touring."
"What are you saying?" I questioned.
"I don't know, that maybe-"
I shook my head, "Josh, trust me I want a family with you, but let's not rush it. It'll come when we're ready."
"You're right," he chuckled softly.
"I mean we aren't even engaged yet." I shrugged sipping my coffee.
"Yet." He laughed and got up.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing! Just moving some things." He answered vaguely.
"Things?"
"A surprise!"
