My First & Last

chapter 14

Jack "pov"

I walked inside the house to answer my phone, it was from the investigator I hired to look for the person after rosie
He found out about something important and he needs to talk to me about it tomorrow,
After ending the call I sat on the couch thinking of what he could possibly found out, would it be useful, I was lost in my thoughts and I didn't notice mari sitting beside me
"what do you want mari?" I asked really annoyed and not in the mood for her right now
"are you feeling lonely?" she asked with seductive tone trying to seduce me
"no am not" I say closing my eyes taking a deep breath, I was really tired and I can't stop thinking about rosie and the kiss, I just hope the investigator got some good news, i don't know if i could handle this torture any longer
I felt something heavy in my lap and I opened my eyes to see mari sitting on it
"mari what are you doing?" I asked getting angry and at the edge of losing my temper with her if only she wasn't my friend's sister I would have showed her her place long time ago
"I know you want me" she said kissing me. I didn't kiss her back, i was pushing her away from me, this wasn't right I felt guilty for kissing her

Damn damn damn damn I say to myself once I heard chris calling rosie from behind me, I stood up to see rosie staring at me with hurt look in her hazel eyes I could tell she was about to cry, I hate this I hate hurting her
I tried to talk to her but she didn't give me a chance, she tried to cover her hurt and play dump, I knew we couldn't talk here, so decided to drive her home and talk.

Chris was obviously pissed off at me, he hugged her and said something in her ear, I know chris only loves her like his little sister but I couldn't help but to feel jealous
He turned his back at me and I knew he would give me a long painful lecture later about kissing mari and hurting rosie, chris is really protective of her, he cares a lot about her, I knew he was going to protect her from everything even me if that is the case

Once we reached her apartment she was trying to avoid talking to me but I didn't let her i wanted to clear myself but i guess there is no use anymore, she wont let me or Liston to me

I didn't believe she thought I didn't want to be with her because I have a girlfriend or she's not my type
She didn't even let me explain, I did want her more than anything else I would give everything to be with her
But with everything's going on I can't, I just can't be with her, no one should know I have any connection with her at least not until I find a clue who is the person after her and I couldn't tell her that

She was about to cry when I tried to touch her, that moment I felt like I was burning alive, I hurt her so much, she hated my touch she even was about to cry. i so messed up , i fucking messed up everything
I was lost I didn't know what to say I was angry at myself for being this weak for not being able to confront her or run after her, for not being able to tell the world that she belongs to me because am afraid someone would hurt her, for not capturing the person who's after her yet and for being this pathetic, I just watched her walk away from me

Once I reached my house I went straight to my office to drink myself to sleep, I wanted to forget about everything, the way she looked at me at least for this night

I only slept for two hours top, I woke up with killing headache, I took a cold bath to wake me up and drank some hot coffee and of course I didn't forget about the aspirin tablets

I called my driver to drive me to work, I felt better but not much to drive
Once I saw her at her desk looking beautiful as ever I hated myself more for doing this to her, to us, maybe I should tell her everything at least she wouldn't hate me like now

At the moment she called me sir, I knew she was trying to keep her distance from me and i wanted that right? i wanted her to stay away from me right? god help me