My First & Last

chapter 22

Rose "pov"

Jack just dropped me infront of my apartment building after eating early lunch with him, it's Wednesday evening, last week jack was the most distraction I could think of, each hour he calls for me saying it's urgent and we ended up making out, I tried not to give in but failed, I couldn't stay away from him either

Ross called the other day asking about my aunt who I still didn't talk to yet, I don't know part of me wants to but the other part says no, I mean she left her niece, a child niece a lone, she's a cold heart woman, I don't know If I could act normal with her, but I guess I should give her a chance it's not like am running to her arms calling her mom, just a quick meeting with her won't harm anyone right?
i just went out of the elevator in my apartment building "what are you doing here?" I asked Sam surprised to find him standing infront of my apartment door looking down at his phone, he jerked up almost dropping his phone on the floor
"you scared me!" Sam says  with narrowed eyebrows placing a hand on his chest, I knew he was just being playful but i did really surprised him too
"how long have you been waiting?" I asked unlocking the door and got in, sam followed me
"for about two hours" he said jumping on the couch
"what ! Two hours, why didn't you call me?" I asked giving him a glass of cold apple juice that he loves, I sat beside him on the couch
"well I wanted to see you, you know like the old days, I didn't call you because I knew you were out with jack and didn't want to disturb you, hell you were with him for four hours just eating lunch" Sam said with a mocking smile and I knew it was a fake one, there must be something bothering him, and by the way how did he knew I was with jack!
"How did.." I was interrupted by him "I called you earlier and jack answered your phone saying you left your phone on your desk" Sam replied like it's not something big, but I got a bit annoyed of jack answering my phone, he did say nothing about it ...
"hungry?" I asked about to stand up to make something for him to eat. He held my wrist  I looked at him confused by his sudden action, what's wrong with him? I knew there must be something bothering him..
"am not hungry, lets just watch some movie or something" sam said bulling me making me sit back on the couch next to him, he placed his hand around my shoulder and I leaned my head on his chest, it feels so warm to be this close to him, we were watching the avatar movie and strangely he said nothing for thirty minutes

"sami" it came out like a whisper, well it's been half an hour since I used my voice
"yeah" he replied with husky deep voice looking down at me, his look is intense he looked like he was in his own world, like a million thing is running through his head, his eyes showed how lost he was
"aren't you going to tell me what's wrong?" I asked shifting away from him to make some space between us, I want to see his face when I talk to him
"you never miss anything don't you" he said with a troubled smile
"so.." I said waiting for him to talk "nothing important, come back here" sam said stretching his arms for me to sit back the way we were before
I crossed my arms over my chest and gave him SPILL IT OUT look and he sighed
He leaned back on the couch and looked at me
"do you remember when we talked about me finding the love of my life" sam said to me and I was confused I never saw sam getting upset about a girl, she must be someone really special
I nodded my head at him remembering that day at the restaurant, well I skipped the late part of me being almost shoot at by a crazy woman
"i.." sam said with a sigh looking down like he was feeling guilty for saying anything
"sam it's okay just tell me maybe I could help" I say holding one of his hands, he looked at me with a small smile on his lips
"well I lied" he said and I narrowed my eyes trying to understand him
"I've been in love with a girl for the last five years" sam said and he took me there.. am really surprised ... why he never said anything about it until now?
"okay am going to ask for a long explanation why didn't you tell me but now it's not the right time, what happened? Did you break up?" I asked needing to understand the story, he chuckled softly like I said the craziest thing ever
"what?" I asked lifting one of my eyebrows at him
"she was never mine to break up" he said removing his gaze from mine to look at our hands, I waited for him to continue
"I never had the courage to confront her, I was a coward and when I did gather my courage to do it ... I realized I already lost her" he said placing his other hand on top of mine
"maybe you still have a chance, why didn't you try?" I asked him, I knew he meant she was with someone else but I mean he never tried how could he be so sure that it's over?
"I can't rose, when I see her smiling like she never did when she's with him, nothing else matters, I know he will take good care of her" he said locking my gaze with his
"it's just so hard, you know" he said removing both of his hand to his lap like he wasn't feeling comfortable anymore, he looked really in pain and it kills me
It breaks my heart to see him like this, and I would give everything to have a man like him, rescuing his own happiness for the girl he loves, he chose to stay away and let her be happy, I don't know if I could do that
"well I don't know the girl but she's missing a lot" I say and he smiled a bit
"sam any girl would be damn lucky to have you, I mean it" I say making him look back at me
"I've never met a girl who's not only after money and looks" he said like he was saying something bitter
I knew I was going to regret saying my next words but maybe it could encourage him a little
"I did.." I say looking down shyly "you did what?" he asked confused narrowing his eyes questioningly
"I had a crush on you for a long time" I said and he's eyes were wide open, okay maybe It was really wrong saying this
"don't freak out" I say embarrassed and a little freaked out 
"I .. I didn't expect that" he mutter to himself
"don't worry about it sam, I moved on with my feelings when I realized you will never feel the same way I did, and then I met jack and you know the rest" I say smiling at him remembering jack
He looked down I heard him mutter under his breath "told you I was late" more like a whisper to himself but I guess I miss heard him or it's my imaginary