Harley and joker oneshots

One thing he hates more than batman is.... shopping

It was a late morning in Gotham, but joker getting ready to go some where.

"Puddin, where ya goin?"
The joker looked at her, but soon turned back to the mirror fixing his tie.
"Pud-"
He let out a loud sigh, "I'm going to a car dealership."
"What's a car dealership?" She asked giving him a confused look.
Joker looked back at her and laughed.
"You don't know what a car dealership is!?" He said in-between his laughs.
"No, I don't.."
"Oh baby, sometimes I wonder if you have a Brain in that little head of yours... but a car dealership, oh let's see how can I put this in words you understand, it a place where I get stuff for my car."
"Oh, and I have a brain! I just didn't know what a car place was, also I can understand most words you say!"
"Don't yell at me little girl, or I'll be saying a whole bunch of words you won't like!"
The joker said while leaning over Harley.
"I'm sorry sir...."
He then walked away from her and went back to do his tie.

"Ya know puddin, maybe instead of going to a car place we could do something else..."
"What could 'we' do?"
Joker asked, already knowing what she wanted to do....
"Well I was hoping we could to the.... mall..."
"Ugh fine! But I'm only taking you if you behave! Got it!?"
"I promise I'll behave..."
Joker rolled his eyes but agreed and said, "alright, let's go..."
"Yay!" Thank ya puddin!"
Harley then ran down stairs out the door.
"Oh I'm going to regret this, so much!" Joker said to himself as he walked down the stairs.

Once they got to the mall, Harley's face lit up like a child on Christmas morning seeing all the presents.
"Let's go to forever 21 first!" Harley said while grabbing on to the jokers arm, dragging him into the store.

Once they entered, joker wanted to leave, he couldn't stand the music, he didn't understand way the damn store was called forever 21, and he didn't know why there was glitter on the damn floor.

"Puddin, would this look good on me?" Harley asked holding up a top that looked it would hug her body and squeeze he breast up, showing them off the everyone, which mad joker mad.
"The only one that need to see your taters is me, got it!?"
"But puddin! It's so cute, and I think it would look good on me, doncha think?"
Joker didn't say anything just rolled his eyes at her.
"Can you please get a better attitude?"
"I'm fine, just keep looking..." he demanded.
"Huh..." Harley sighed putting the top back.
Harley then got an idea...
"Why don't we go to victory secrets next..."
Jokers eyes widen, and he had a huge grin on his face.
"Now your talking baby!"

At victory secrets, joker thought the store itself looked dumb, all that girly shit, but when he looked at the underwear, he just pictured all of it on Harley.
"Holy crap! They're having a sale!" Harley yelled.
Joker smile, he liked seeing her baby girl happy well most of the time, but this was perfect for him, Harley will pick out sexy underwear, and he'll get to see it on her.
So he pulled out his credit card and handed it to her.
"Knock your self out kiddo..."
"Really!?" "Yes now go, before I take it away from you!"
Harley smiled and skipped over to where all the bras are.
"Hey puddin, what about this red one?" Harley asked while holding it up to her breast.
"Sexy baby!"
Harley giggled, she knew what would make him happy, also she liked shopping at victory secrets because she could tease her puddin with her new underwear.

After an hour or so, Thur left victory secrets, carrying multiple bags.
"I think that's enough shopping for one day puddin..."
"Alright baby girl... oh and Harley, we are never going shopping to the mall again!"
Harley giggled and nodded, "okay puddin, but I know you had fun.
"Oh yeah spending over a $100 on bras and panties is what I call fun!"
"You know you liked seeing me in those!"
Joker rolled his eyes, and kept walking to the car.....

A/N
Yay I told y'all I would update..
I know it sucks but all well all my story's do 😁
So I hoe everyone enjoyed
~xoxo