Harley and joker oneshots

Secrets full of lies

"Oh god no no no no! How will I tell him I'm pregnant?"
"Harley I'm home!" "Coming puddin!"
Harley then ran down stairs almost falling.
"You okay baby doll?" "Yeah just exited to see you." "Hmm we'll give daddy a hug."
Harley then gave him a hug and held on tight.
"You okay?" Asked joker. "Yeah,um so what ya get at the store?" "Why?" "Just want to know." "Mmmm well got a lot of sweets stuff,like ice cream,chocolate,stuff like that." "Really!" "Yup,also got pickles,pop tarts,fruits,stuff for you my dear to cook." "Great,um I'll be right back I don't feel good."
Harley then ran to the toilet and threw up.
"Harley you okay?" "Yeah,just um had something today I guess." "Want me to do anything?" "No."
Harley then came out.
"Puddin I need to tell you something." "Fire away baby." "Well I um don't eat the meat in the fridge it's bad." "Okay baby cakes,well I have to go to my office,if you need anything I'll be in there."
He said while kissing her cheek.

A few hours later
"Where the hell are the pickles!" "There they are."
Harley then grabbed a bowl of ice cream and pickles.
While she was eating that together
"Harley what are you eating?" Asked Juan. "Umm pickles and ice cream,I read on-line and it said it was good so yeah." "Harley I've seen this before are you-" "Don't say it,he might hear you." "You haven't told him!" "Shhhh and no,I'm scared on what he'll do." "Well why don't you tell him and see." "I will tonight." "Okay princess."

A few Months later
"Geez Harley no affiance but I think you should lay off the sweets,I mean,your getting a belly and you boobs are getting bigger." "Heh well um I,your right." "Right well I'm going to bed night baby girl. Aren't you coming?" "I'll be there in a minute."
When he left Harley cried.
"Hey what's wrong?" "Juan remember how I said I would tell him a long time ago?" "Yeah?" "I didn't tell him!" "What! How has he not noticed!?" "He thinks I'm eating to many sweets." "Harley you need to tell him before your water breaks." "I know." Harley cried.
"Harley baby,what's wrong?" "Puddin,I have to tell ya something." "Alright what's up?" "Okay,I'm well I'm pre-pre-" "Pre what come on baby I want to go back to bed." "I'm pregnant!" Harley said then started crying.
"Is that why your getting bigger?" "Yes and I'm sorry puddin!" "It's whatever we will talk about This tomorrow." "Okay." "Now come to bed.

The next morning
"Puddin." "Hm?" Joker said while working on some blue prints.
"Can we talk about this?" "What?" "The face that I'm pregnant with your baby!" "Harley,what do you want me to say? We where going to have one before what's the difference? Sure im a little pissed you didn't tell me before but hey it's whatever now can I work?" "But puddin,I thought you would be mad and-" "Baby I don't care now let daddy work please before you piss daddy off." "Sorry I'll um go then." "You don't have to leave but just keep quiet!" "Okay."
Harley then laid on the floor because why not.
Harley was happy he didn't get mad and glad she could have her baby.

Maybe we can be a happy crazy family. Harley thought