Harley and joker oneshots

Sisters

Harley's pov
Shit!!!! No no no! Please no.... shit! Oh my puddin finds out I'm screwed!!!!!
Mistah J doesn't want kids... what to do what to do......
*ring ring*
Who's could be calling me!?
"Hello?" I Said harshly
"Hey sis! We haven't talked in forever! How are you?" Harley's sister asked. "Not good! I'm pregnant and if Mistah J finds out he's goin to kill me!" "Okay Okay calm down! Wait wait! Okay this might be crazy, but we do kind of look alike, so why don't I go as you for a few months?"
"Mistah J night notice..." "and if he does we will then have to tell him the truth!" Her sister said.
"Okay..."

"Damn Lilly! You almost look as good at me hah!" Harley said the her sister.
"Whatever, but this blonde will come our right?" Her sister asked.
"Yes...." Harley said looking at the box.
"Totally..."
"Okay Mistah J will be home soon, I'm off and just remember please him.. or he will hurt you. Bye!" Harley said leaving.

Lilly's pov
Okay Lilly, for Harley.
"Harley baby! Daddy's home!" I heard the joker say.
Okay what does she call him?
"Harley!"
"Coming puddin!" I yell trying to do my sisters accent.
I then run down stairs, so this is what the famous joker looks like up close.
"Come here baby." The joker said.
I then run to him, hugging him.
How does Harley do this? He's a murder!
"Uh how was your day puddin?"
The joker then looked at her funny, "fine, are you alright? You sound sick."
Hey! I'm trying here!
"No mistah J I'm A-okay!" I said letting go of him, and heading to the kitchen.
"Ya want anything? To eat?" I asked.
"You." The joker said, scooping me, and taking us to his bedroom.
"Uhh J What are you doing?" I ask out of fear.
"I'm going to make love to you, daddy has had a long day."
"Uhh how about we talk about your day... I'm really tired.... and I would preform better if I was not tired...." god does this guy just want sex with Harley, I then feel a hard slap on my cheek.
"Ow!"
"You will do as you're told. Harley, are you sure you're okay, usually you want sex."
"I'm sorry puddin..."
"Hmm, come here Pooh."
I then crawl, over to his lap.
"Harley, baby?"
"Hm?"
"How stupid do you think I am!?" He then throws me to the ground.
"What do ya mean puddin?" "Oh don't call me that! Where is Harley!?" He yells in my face.
"Puddin.."
He then slaps me again.
How the hell does Harley live with this!?
"I'm going to ask once more, where is Harley!"
I then start crying, "she's at my house... she's safe don't worry..."
The joker raised his eye brow, "give me you're phone!"
I then take out my phone, and give it to the clown.
"Hey Lilly, how's it goin?"
"Harley."
"Shit..."
"Shit is right, where are you? I'll get Juan to pick you up."
"At my sisters house."
"This Bitch is your sister?"
"Yes Mistah J.. puddin I'm sorry... I can explain.."
"Shut it Harley!"
"Yes sir.."
"I'll see you soon baby."
"Love you..."
"I know."

"Harley what the hell!? Why is your sister here! And do you think I'm stupid!?"
"No puddin... but how did you tell us apart? No one can."
"Because I know you, plus she had brown eyes."
He then squished Harley's cheeks together, "not your beautiful blue eyes."
Harley blushed.
"Now answer my question!"
"Because... because..."
Harley then started crying.
"Because I'm pregnant! And I know you don't want children. So me and Lilly came up with this..."
"Juan take Lilly home!"

Joker then carried Harley to their bedroom.

"Harley why the hell didn't you tell me!?"
"Because I thought you would get mad.."
"And what am I now!?"
"Mad.."
"Harley, you don't lie to daddy, do you understand!?"
"Yes sir..."

"Now, What are we going to name this little guy?"
"Wait what?" Harley asked with a laugh, making the joker laugh too