Harley and joker oneshots

I want one

"Come on puddin,please I really want one!" "And I said no!now get over all this okay,I don't want one of those things to run around the house." "Please puddin,I won't ask for anything ever again if you give me this." "Now we know that's not true." "Please puddin I want a baby!" "And I said no!now drop it!" "Please puddin,I really want one,and this is what family's do right?" "No,now leave me alone about this shit!"
Joker then pushed her out of the room.
"Ugh!why can't we!it just means more sex for us!" "No!and just so you don't try anything tonight I am going to wear a condom!" "But how am I going to suck your yummy dick?" "Sucks kiddo."
Harley then started to tear up a little.
Joker could hear her holding back the tears but just stayed in his office. But soon came out.
"Harley,why do you want a baby so bad?" "Because I always thought I would have one and I love children." "Well I hate children end of story." "Please puddin just think about it." "Fine."
Joker then left to get a vasectomy
A few hours later
"Harley!" "Yeah?" "I've thought about it and I will give you a baby." "Really!" "Yes now let's have sex until we can't move." "Okay."
In the bedroom
"Oh god puddin!" "Geez Harley,how long can you go?" "All night puddin.ohhh!!!"
After 5 hours of sex.
"Oh if I'm not pregnant after that there must be something wrong with me." "Go check baby doll."

Negative
"What!thats impossible!" "What is baby?" "I'm not pregnant." Harley cried.
"Oh baby,we will just have to keep trying till you are." "Okay." "Well you my dear need to go to bed." "Okay daddy." "Night princess." "Night puddin."
Joker then left Harley so she could sleep.
"Damn boss you two whet louder that my uncles party's and let me tell you they are loud." Said Juan. "Sorry,Harley wants a baby so I'm acting like I want one." "Wait what?" "I got a vasectomy,and Harley doesn't know so I get to have a lot of sex and no baby." "Good plan,but what if she finds out,because of you guys are having a lot of sex got a while and no baby,she might find something weird." "Good point,I'll make up something." "Okay boss,man I should've thought of this when I was dating this girl named Jenny she wanted a kid and I wanted just sex that's it,so she dumped me." "Well this plan is full proof."
But what the joker didn't know was that Harley heard everything.
"That sneaky son of a bitch!"
Later that night joker was in his office and Harley knocked on the door.
"What do you want?!" "Puddin?" "Oh sorry baby,what's up?" "Harley came in crying.
"What's wrong baby?" "What's wrong!ill tell you,you little bastard!" "Excuse me?!" "You heard me! I know you got a vasectomy so you couldn't have kids with me and just the sex!" "Baby-" "Don't baby me,I'm going to get a baby,I don't care who's it is!" "Yes you do baby,you talk about it all the time,you always tell Juan I want a baby with mistah J and no one else." "Well that can change quickly!" "Come here." "No! Now I'm going in the guest bedroom,and don't bother coming in with me." "Harley-" "Just leave me alone!"
Harley then left crying up a storm.
"Hey princess,what's wrong?" Asked Juan. "Mistah J got a vasectomy." "Oh wow that's low,but hey let this blow over and maybe he will agree to adopting a kid." "I guess." "Great now how about you go into the guest room before tue boss comes,because I heard you call him a bastard." "Oh shit your right."
Harley then ran to the guest bedroom and locked the door.
"Harley open this damn door!" "No!" "Are you forgetting who's in charge!?" "Are you forgetting you have other people that care about you and maybe talk things out before you do them!" "Harley,I can run my own life!" "Yeah but at least you could have told me why you didn't want one or say Harley let's talk about it!" Harley screamed while in tears.
"Come on baby open this door." "No!" "Ugh!"
Joker then unlocked the door with the key that was in his pocket.
"Harley!"
Joker then saw her crying on the bed.
"Hey baby,look I'm sorry but I don't want a baby okay." "It's whatever now." "But your right I should've talked to you." "Really?" "Yup,but you really think you can get away with calling me a bastard?" "No but I'm sorry puddin I was mad and wasn't thinking.your right I'm an idiot." "Yes you can be,but your sometimes smart." "When?" "Oh Harley,never doubt me on what I'm saying okay?" "Okay daddy." "Now,would you like to join me in bed or sleep here baby?" "With you puddin." "Okay,let's go then."