13 Reasons Why Imagines

Tony (6)

  In this the person requested that Tony wasn't gay so bear with that for a second, okay awesome sauce    .

-Lils

******

          It was all my fault. I knew it was. I was Hannah's little sister, I was the shoulder she needed to cry on, but instead she was crying in the bathroom tub that was filling with a mixture of blood and water rapidly. It was all my fault. I think people thought I'd explode too, like it was hereditary or something, and sure I've thought about it, seeing your sister dead does things to you, but satisfaction do I get from dying. She's still dead. 

She's still dead. 

"Hey," I heard from beside me and I saw Tony. He had been one of Hannah's friends. 

"Hi," I mumbled. 

"I want to show you something," He stated. 

             Although I wasn't anticipating having a guy showing me something his car and then kidnapping me and killing me, I also couldn't care less. That wasn't because of Hannah, I just generally didn't care about things that I should, Hannah's death just intensified it. 

"Yeah, sure whatever," I replied coolly and he lead me to his car. 

                       Of course, I'm not a car expert but I could tell it was an old car, didn't even have a radio. I stared at the sky, waiting for him to pull whatever out his car he needed to show me. 

"Are you gonna get in or not?" He asked. 

"Oh-um- yeah yeah I'm getting in," I mumbled, getting into the passenger side as he chuckled carelessly. 

                          He slid a tape into the cassette player and began driving. In a few favorable seconds, everything was quiet. I was just taking a ride with an upperclassman, cutting class and letting the air from the open window brush through my hair. 

 Hey, it's Hannah. Hannah Baker. That's right. Don't adjust your...whatever device you're hearing this on. It's me, live and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore, and this time, absolutely no requests

                           My world started spinning, like maybe I would fall, but I was sitting down. It was Hannah. Part of me wanted to claw at his cassette player, as if she was stuck in there, somewhere and part of me never wanted to hear that voice again, to forgive and forget. But now, I couldn't not listen. I had heard her voice for the first time in what seemed like a life time. I needed to hear what she had to say. 

                           So it became a routine, one I'm sure my parents didn't enjoy, but the less they know the better. Everyday I'd get in Tony's car and listen to one side of one tape. Everyday I'd try to hold back tears, but all I could think about was that voice laughing or reassuring me. But this was different; these were her last words. 

"This one's tough to listen to," Tony muttered, putting another tape in the cassette. We had already listened to one today, but he seemed insistent. "But you need to listen."

                         So I did. I listened all the way until I knew what was gonna happen next, because everyone knows the star athlete isn't innocent. The one that brags about every girl he's had in bed or the one who shows off how high he gets. He isn't innocent. Slowly, I found myself curling into a little ball on top of the slide, my hands covering my ears and tears pounding down my face. 

"It's okay," Tony reassured. 

"No it's not!" I screamed, my voice cutting out and squeaking. "She's dead because of him! She's dead because of all of us and we never did bullshit! W-" I was cut off. 

                         I was cut off by a pair of lips on mine. Soon I understood what was happening and kissed back. Not because an upperclassman was kissing me and I needed to kiss back so I could be cool, but because the person who told me why Hannah did what she did and helped me had his lips locked on mine. He pushed away. 

"It's okay, because we can stop it from happening again. It's okay," He pleaded. 

"It's okay," I heard myself say. 

It's okay.