My abusive alpha mate

Wait

Issacs pov...

I looked down to see what I've done. I killed channel. My mate. My love. My.. my... oh no. What have I done.

Everyone around me was howling. The howls were in sync and painful to hear. They carried so much pain and love.

I was running. I don't know where but I was just running.

I ran for a good 3 hours and landed at a waterfall. I swam behind the waterfall and let the water mask my scent.

I didn't mean to let it get this far. I just wanted to be loved but I'm not lovable. I push me people away and it's because it was of my parents.

My mom never loved me. She abused me since the day I could talk. And my father. He sexually abused me. I tried to always make my mother happy and stay out her way but no matter what I did I would always get beaten. I would try my best to stay away from my father and try not to be alone with him.

I would go to the cops and tell them but they wouldn't believe me. My parents knew everyone and everyone loved them. So if I tried to get them in trouble nobody would believe me.

I would cry myself to sleep. I still has the burn marks from my moms cigarettes, still have the scratches from her claws. I still have the bite marks. I have everything.

I gave up and tried to kill myself. I overdosed on pills my mom had. But somehow I was still alive.

I still have nightmares that they would come back for me even though there dead.

They got killed. By me. They was sleeping and I had enough and so I killed them.

I never knew how to love or be loved. I was wanted and not needed. I was lusted for and not loved. I was a man but not a real man.

I cried. I wanted channel but I couldn't love her and she wouldn't love me. My anger and conscious would go after her. I'm sorry.