summer boy ~ tal fishman ✓

~36~

So I let him in to explain. Dumb decision. He had no idea what to say. It was pretty cute- if you ignore the fact that he lied to me about who he was. And I, the dumb person I am, trusted him. Guess I won't do that again. 

I know he was hurt because I was acting so cold. I don't know why I was. I shouldn't be in a relationship. I'm too unstable now. A stupid crush lets me forget that fact for a while and look where that got me. I slammed the door in his face a few minutes ago, but I'm still sitting on the ground with my back against the door. Just thinking. Nearly crying, maybe. I don't even know. Is it my fault we fought? Is it my fault he didn't trust me? It probably is. He would've told me if he trusted me enough. 

After I don't know how long, my thoughts are abruptly stopped by the doorbell. And there is my headache again. Great. I stand up and pull my fingers through my hair to make it look somewhat presentable. I pat some imaginary dust off my pants before I open the door and Meredith is standing there. Crying. I scrunch my eyebrows and drop my own I'm-doing-completely-fine persona. Me worrying about looking somewhat presentable and then Meredith, the girl who always looks good, looking like a panda. In a bad way. This is new.

I don't say anything, just step outside the door and give her a hug. She holds me very tightly. After a few minutes or so, I let her go. 'Wouldn't want anyone from school to see you like this', I just say. She nods. Doesn't even understand I was being my usual sarcastic self. Okay, something is really wrong.

When she's finally sitting on the couch with a glass of water and she's somewhat calm, I ask her what happened. 'I broke up with him.' 'Wait what?' Okay. I wasn't expecting that.

'Well, we got into this fight and he was really annoying and then he said that he- never mind and then I broke up with him.' Her voice is higher than usual. She's speaking way faster as well. 'Well, is it Friday the thirteenth yet?' I asked. She looked a bit confused. Then she grabs her phone and turns it on so she can check the date.

'No, why did you ask?' 'Well, me and Tal maybe sorta got into a fight as well?' 'No you didn't! You are my couple goals, you need to get together as soon as possible! This is a drama!' Great. I made her even more upset. Good job, Julia. 'You are staying here and I am getting ice cream. You are explaining me everything when I come back. Bye!' I run away from the subject as fast as I can. 

Meredith obeys. She snuggles into the blankets and turns on the tv. I smile. I love her so much. As a friend. Sister. I don't know. I grab an oversized hoodie. I like oversized stuff. This one was light pink. I put on sneakers and head to the supermarket. It's walking distance from my house. I am wearing shorts, so it looks like I am just wearing this sweater. I'd find it funny. If it would have been any other day. One that isn't as miserable as this one.

I finally arrive. I walk to the chocolate section. White for Mer and milk chocolate for me. I turn around and start heading to the ice cream section. I open the freezer and grab two big packets of ice cream. My head is down and looking at the ground. I know I look like a mess. No need for the entire world to see that. I bump into someone. Great, now I have to socialize and say I'm sorry a million times. I mentally prepare myself for that in the millisecond I have.

'I'm so sorry! I wasn't paying attention and- Adi?' I recognize Tal's brother. He blushes a bit. I look at him confused. What is he doing here? Probably buying stuff. We're in a supermarket. I'm so smart. 'I'm sorry, I'm just going to go.' I smile a fake smile at him and I walk away. 

I feel him grab my arm. His grip is nearly identical to Tal's. I don't know how I can recognize a grip, but it feels familiar. I sigh and turn around with a fake smile on my face. 'What is it?' I ask, slightly annoyed. 'I wanted to talk to you.' 'So you literally bump into me? Let me pay first. And it has to be quick.' 'Um, is it ok if you first drop those off at your house? Otherwise they'll melt.' 'Okay.' 

That doesn't sound like quick to me, but just show your smile and it'll be believable, like you actually want to talk to him right now. The ex of your best friend. Meredith will be thrilled to hear that. Well there is somewhat good news; until today I didn't know how much I could fake-smile in five minutes. Nice to know my cheek muscles work.

After I paid for the ice-cream we walked to my house. I let him wait outside, so he wouldn't see Meredith in the state she's in. I put the ice-cream in the freezer and I see Meredith sound asleep on the couch. I turn the volume of the tv show she was watching down and place a blanket over her. Then I write a note saying I'm out for a walk. 

I come back out. I notice now that Adi looks tired and nervous. Why would he be? Is he heartbroken about Meredith? Meredith won't want him back, she's too stubborn for that. We walk to the park in complete silence. Nearly nobody is there. I head to the little bench Tal and I always sit. It brings back memories. I sigh.

'What did you want to tell me? You know I know about your breakup with Mer and you probably heard about my breakup with Tal. If that's what you call it. I don't know.' 'Yeah I know, today has been a hectic day. I just wanted to get something off my chest. Well, two things. The first is, you remember on vacation, right? Well, you fell and Tal saved you in that little store, remember?' I nod. 

'Well, it was all a setup so Tal could get your number.' I laugh. Nice memories. The laugh was really short-lived, since my brain immediately jumps to the present; we had a pretty big fight. 'I kind of figured it was weird Tal was right then and there at that moment. Now it makes sense.' He smiles a weak smile. 'What is the second thing that you wanted to say?' If the other thing is just as light as this was, I'll be alright. I think. 

'Well the second thing is that ever since that day on vacation I saw you... well... I kind of had this huge crush on you.' Waaaiit what?! That wasn't what I was expecting! That's not light! How am I supposed to be sleeping now for the next weeks? I'll be blaming myself for Mer and Adi's break-up. I sigh, shake my head and put my head in my hands. 

'Maybe because Tal wanted you, you were something I couldn't have. You are just so kind and beautiful and the best person I ever met. Your smile is like a small light in the darkness of the world and so pretty. I just wanted to be honest with you.' 

This is crazy. I look into his eyes really confused and he looks at me hopefully. 'I won't treat you like Tal did.' 'Tal treated me fine.' Why am I defending Tal? I don't even know. I am so stuck in my head that I don't notice Adi leaning in until his lips were on mine. It felt unnatural. I pulled away.

'No, I'm sorry. I don't like you like that.' 'Just give me one chance, I won't screw this up like Tal did. I'll treat you like you are supposed to be treated; special. You are special. Please', Adi was practically begging now. 

Tal only screwed up half. I did the other half. I can see that now. 'Adi, you're really nice and all, but I don't feel that way for you. I'm really sorry. You're the best, but I see you as a friend. And it's too fresh, I've only had this fight with Tal this morning. Please, let me be. I'm sorry again.' He looks disappointed. I feel bad for him but I'm mad at the same time. How could he do this? It's obvious I'm a mess right now, it's like he's rubbing salt in my very fresh wounds.

'What about Meredith?' I nearly whisper, afraid for the answer. 'I never cared about her, I wanted to get closer to you.' 'She'll love to hear that', I said and I stood up. Why did I go to an understanding friend to a female dog in .2 seconds? I don't understand myself. I felt so gross right now. Why does Adi say he likes me? He probably wants to get back at his brother for something. I don't know. 

'Jul, please don't go.' He stands up as well. 'Please, I need to think. I'm sorry.' I walk away. What just happened? Why? Why am I apologizing this much? What is wrong with me? Did Mer discover this? Did Adi tell her? I... I don't know what to feel. I do know I feel like crying, though. I am really needing that ice-cream from the freezer.

~*~

Hey guys! I just wanted to let you know I changed my title and description. It's not a big deal, the story will stay the same. Btw, I'm really bad at writing descriptions, so if you have any tips, please let me know! ❤️😂