summer boy ~ tal fishman ✓

~38~

I am walking outside. I'm wearing headphones, I need some music right now. And it'll make me seem less stupid if he decides he won't show up. Which he probably won't. I messed up.

After a few minutes, I'm already at the park. I head to our bench. A new song starts to play. I close my eyes and concentrate on the music, trying to conceal my nervousness. Halfway through the song, I feel someone tapping on my shoulder. I open my eyes and see Tal. He looks just as bad as I do. Bags under his eyes and not-perfect hair. Well, he doesn't look that bad. Still looking cute. I think I look worse than him.

I take out my earphones. I don't know what to say. I sigh. 'I can't seem to find the right words. I just... I'm sorry. I was mad yesterday and it was just a really bad day.' Tal didn't seem to expect that. He looks surprised. 

'You're sorry? For what?' Tal seems genuinely confused. 'Overreacting.' My voice sounds weak. I feel weak. Tal can crush me with the tip of his finger if he'd like to. I hate that. I want to be strong. But I made a mistake and I'll have to pay for that. 

Tal grins. 'I have to apologize. I'm sorry for not telling you. I was going to, but I... I don't know. I wanted to protect you, I guess. I can't really explain, more like a feeling.' I smile at him. I wrap my arms around him. He seems taken aback for a second, but then relaxes and hugs me back. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. 'I can't explain either why I was being such an annoying person yesterday', I whisper back.

After a few minutes, he lets me go. I look into his beautiful sea-colored eyes. I need to tell him about Adi. Does he already know? I hate to have things hidden from me, why would I do the exact same thing? 

I look down, breaking the eye contact we had. I open my mouth to say something but don't know where to start. Probably I should just do.

I look back at him and he looks confused mixed with curiosity. 'What is it?' he asks me. He is speaking very quietly as if I'm fragile. I feel fragile right now. It isn't helping wiht him treating me like that.

'Well, um... You heard about Adi's break-up, right?' I start. He nods. 'Well, after that he...'I sigh. I don't want to tell him. I could break their brothership or whatever you want to call it. 'No, it's not important', I decide. 'Well, yes it is. You can tell me anything. Don't be dumb and do the same thing I did.'

I bite my lip. He looks at my lips. 'I don't want to break your strong bond. You'll maybe hate him, even.  And you'll probably hate me and I don't want that.' I look into his eyes again. They are so pretty. They seem to hypnotize me in some way.

'Why would I hate you?' 'Because of what you want me to tell you about what happened.' That didn't sound as logical out loud as it did in my head. 

'Please tell me.' I looked into his pleading eyes and bit my lip again. 'Promise me you won't hate Adi. Please?' He scrunched his brows for a second. 'Why are you so worried about him if he did something stupid?' 'He's probably going through a lot.' Heartbreak, a break-up -even if it wasn't real according to him, so he can't use a brother that's hating him on top of that. 

'Well, he came to my house yesterday and he wanted to talk to me. So I went with him to our bench, right here. Then he told me that his relationship with Mer was fake and that he did it to impress me and that he wanted me to be his girlfriend and he kissed me and I ran away and I can't talk properly right now', I ramble. I notice I am talking faster and faster. At the end, I don't want to look at Tal. I'm scared.

I bring up the courage after a few seconds and look up. He didn't know. I can tell by his expression, he's just staring in front of him. Adi didn't tell him. I didn't expect Adi to. Now comes the question, what will his reaction be?

That would have been comical if it wasn't for this situation.

He opens his mouth and closes it again. 'I can't get mad at you', he nearly whispers. 'But why would Adi do that? He knows I like you. He didn't once bring it up, he didn't once let me know, how could he do that? How can I not get mad at him if this is true?' He raises his voice and he is using more and more arm gestures.

I place my hand on his arm and he stops the wild gestures. He stops talking as well. He just looks into my eyes. I look back into his. Then I look at the ground.

'Please don't be mad at him.' 'Give me one valid reason why.' He still sounds angry but he is talking softer than he just was. 'Do it for me. I don't want to be the reason your brotherly bond is ruined.' 'It's not your fault, it's his. He's stupid and shouldn't have done that. It's his fault', he repeats. 'Who did he want to be his girlfriend? Me. So please, you have got no reason to be mad at him. Just slightly disappointed.'

Tal doesn't answer. 'You are not going to be fighting because of me. Talk it out. I don't know what you two do. Just don't fight. Not over me.' 'But you're worth fighting for.'

I look back up from the ground I was previously staring at. I'm speechless. I send a weak smile and I wrap my arms around him again. He hugs me tightly. I missed him. We fought for about a day and even that was too long. 

After a long hug, he lets me go again. 'Will you please be my girlfriend again?' I smile and nod. Then I stand up. He does so as well. 'I'm heading home, I've had way too little sleep. I'll see you later.' I stand on my toes to give him a kiss on his cheek. He hugs me once more and I smile. I can't get enough of his hugs. They're perfect. 

He lets me go and I smile at him before turning around and walking away. I only look back once, to see him still standing on the same spot, with his hands in his pockets, staring at me. I turn back around and put my headphones back in.

Back home, the first thing I see is a note on the table. It was written by Mer and she wrote that she was upstairs in my bed watching Netflix. She knew how to use my tv, so I wasn't surprised. 

I walk upstairs and can hear my tv pretty clearly. I open the door to my room and Meredith doesn't even notice me. Until I turn down the volume. She sits up straighter. 

'How did it go?' 'I guess well? We're back together. Well, we're starting slow now but I'm his girlfriend again!' We both squeal. Then she scoots over a bit and I immediately lie down next to her on my bed. I place the warm blanket over my legs and I rest my head on her shoulder. I feel safe and like I can finally relax again, as if the drama is sort of over now. 

But well, I am wrong.