Pregnant Little Liars

A Life Without Caleb

Two weeks later
*Hanna's POV*

It's been two weeks since Caleb walked out of our lives, or rather jumped.

After the police came, they searched our house, asked a bunch of questions, and left. There was no trace of Caleb anywhere. He vanished, and no one's seen him since.

Once the police left that night, I went to my mom's house. I couldn't stay in Caleb and I's house any longer. I needed to go home, my home. Ashley and I have been living there for the past two weeks, and I have no intentions of ever going back to our house.

"Just a minute baby girl, mommy's coming." I call, dashing out of the bathroom without flushing or washing in order to get to Ashley who is screaming continuously in the living room. I pick my baby up out of her swing and bounce her in my arms. I'm still trying to get used to the whole single mom thing. It's unbelievably hard to be a single teenage mom.

"It's breakfast time, isn't it?" I glance at the clock on the wall. I take Ashley over to the couch and lay her across my lap.

"Alrighty, fresh breast milk straight from the boob, coming right up." I say, unbuttoning my shirt. As soon as Ashley starts sucking the milk, she immediately stops crying. I relax and let out a sigh of relief and exhaustion. I close my eyes and my mind subconsciously wanders back to the events of the last few weeks. I quickly shake them away and focus my eyes back down to my beautiful blonde haired, blue eyed baby doll. I'm not ready to relive those dark days yet. I'm perfectly content just being in the moment with my daughter.

Just then the front door opens, and my mom comes in looking very flustered.

"Oh sorry Hanna, I forgot my work bag." she says, trying to ignore the fact that I am completely shirtless. I smile at her and she quickly looks away.

"Oh please, I've been in way more uncomfortable situations then having my mom stare at my boobs." I say with a stiff chuckle. My mom smiles.

"This wouldn't be the first time, and certainly not the last."

"Eww mom that's gross!" I scrunch up my nose in disapproval. My mom just chuckles.

"You and Ashley have a good day. Take care and call if you need anything, okay." she says, turning her cell phone on. I smile.

"Okay." I reply while repositioning Ashley on my lap. My mom turns to leave, but quickly stops and turns around.

"Hanna,"

"yeah mom?" I ask, looking up.

"I love you." she says. I smile shyly.

"I know mom. I love you too." I listen for the door to click and my mom's car to pull out of the driveway. Then it's back to a silent house. Well, except for the quiet sucking sounds coming from Ashley. This is how it's going to be from now on. Just me and Ashley alone all day every day.

Today I'm hoping to stop at the brew, because momma bear has not had her daily coffee yet thanks to her very crabby baby bear! I take a slow deep breath. It has been almost an entire month since I've had a good night's sleep. Is it even healthy for someone to go without sleep for that long? At this point I could care less. My body is currently running on ninety percent caffeine and ten percent advil, but Ashley makes it all worth it. I'm also hoping to hit the grocery store later, because we literally have nothing even remotely edible in this house, including coffee.

Last night was an especially hard night. Ashley slept all of thirty minutes before waking up and screaming until I finally gave up and rocked her for hours until she fell back asleep. I breastfed her five times throughout the course of the night, and I ended up falling asleep on the rocking chair too. Not the most comfortable way to sleep, but when you have a kid, you need to be willing to make sacrifices.

After Ashley finishes her breakfast, I give her a quick diaper change and dress her in a white onesie with little pink and blue cupcakes.

"Hi Ashley!" I say in a sing song voice. Ashley kicks her feet excitedly.

"How's my baby girl?" I ask, blowing on her tummy. She shakes her hands up and down and kicks her feet some more. I smile proudly at how perfect she is. She's everything I imagined and more. I pick Ashley up and bounce her in my arms. I kiss her temple and place her into her baby seat. I marvel at how tiny she looks all buckled up in her infant seat. Her little hands are smaller than my pinky finger! The more I think about it, the more it amazes me.

Finally, an hour later we are out the door and headed to the store. I had the toughest time trying to fasten Ashley's infant seat to the backseat of the car, because Caleb is usually the one who does it.

Soon enough, we reach the brew. Ashley is already sound asleep in the backseat from the five minute drive. I'm relieved, because she might actually allow me time to relax and catch my breath!

As soon as we get inside, I am excited to see that Emily is working her shift today. She won't be for much longer though, because baby Fields is due in a couple of weeks!

"Hanna, hey! Oh my god Ashley is the cutest little thing ever!" Emily says, wiping her hands on her apron and coming around the counter to give me a hug.

"Isn't she?" I say proudly. Emily looks to me with sympathy in her eyes.

"How are you holding up?" she asks, giving me a hug. I sigh.

"I'm okay I guess. I'm finally getting used to living with my mom again in my old house. It feels so weird to be back! Anyways not much is happening around the Riv- I mean Marin household." I say, smiling sadly. Emily turns towards the backroom.

"One large vanilla soy latte with carmel and add extra whipped cream!" Emily yells. I manage to chuckle.

"Oh Em, you know me so well." Emily smiles micheviously.

"I know when my friend needs extra whipped cream on her latte, and today is definently an extra whipped cream kinda day." She says, winking at me. Suddenly her smile fades and a look of compassion washes over.

"Hanna, I am so sorry about everything." she says, shaking her head and rubbing my arm. Tears start to form in the corners of my eyes. I look up to keep them in and take slow, deep breaths.

"You know what? It's fine. Ashley and I are doing great! We don't need Caleb, or anyone else." I say, trying to smile as best as I can to convince both myself and Emily. Emily steps closer and moves her hand from my arm to my shoulder.

"Han, you don't have to fake it for me." she says, laying her head on my shoulder. I join the embrace for a second, but soon push away once Ashley starts screaming.

"I should go." I say, grabbing my coffee off the counter. "I'm hoping to run some errands but I need to calm her down and feed her first." I motion to my screaming child.

"Sounds good. Don't hesitate to call if you need anything." Emily calls.

"Okay,"I say and turn to leave, but stop and turn back around.

"Em, I promise you, I'm fine. Ashley and I are just fine on our own, so don't worry about us, okay?"

Emily looks sad. "Okay." she agrees. I dash outside, and the second the door closes, I burst into tears.

"I'm so sorry." I sob, while buckling Ashley back into her carseat. "I'm so sorry baby, but I'm doing the best I can." I cry so hard it hurts. I cry so hard that the pain from the past few weeks is less than the pain I feel in my chest. I cry because I've come to accept that this is how it's going to be from now on. From now on it's just Ashley and I. It's funny because ever since my dad left, I made myself a promise that I wouldn't end up like my mom because I know how bad it sucks, but here I am with my daughter and no father. If it was up to me, I wouldn't wish for things to be like this. I would beg for a do-over, but it's not up to me. I'm sorry that it turned out like this, and I'm sorry Ashley's life is going to suck because of it. I lift my fussy daughter out of her car seat and bounce her in my arms until she stops crying. A sense of peace and serenity envelops me.

My life has so many uncertainties but one thing is for sure. Even though things aren't perfect, or going the way I planned, even though Caleb ruined our lives, I swear that I'm going to give Ashley the best life she can imagine. I swear that I will do anything for my baby girl. I will be the best mother I can be, because I love my Ashley so much, and nothing will ever change that.