A Second Chance

4

Listen to the song above while reading

Harry sits up abruptly. He is startled and wide awake all of a sudden. He isn't sure how long he dozed off. However, it definitely was not long enough because he is still stressed out from this whole ordeal.

He immediately feels nauseous. His heart is racing from a forced awakening.His eyes need a moment to adjust to the darkness as he makes out the emergency ambulance that is in the middle of the road with it's flashing lights illuminating the scene. What's this all about ? Why did they stop in the middle of nowhere ?

It takes a moment until Harry suddenly realises with the power of a freight train. The only reason that the physicians jumped out of the car and rushed to the ambulance was because of an emergency. At least this is what Harry suspects is happening. Something unexpected must have happened to Niall.

Harry sees the outline of people as their shadows move around the ambulance. He feels anguish flooding through his system like poison which is making his limbs immobile and his breathing laborious. His mind is dizzy. Words are rotating through his mind and they are making no sense . All synapses might as well lose their connections. Only one thought is dominating his mind. Niall !

Memories are coming and going .Niall as a toddler building castles in the sandpit together with Gemma. His first sleep over at his parents' house and Niall's first footie match that Gemma forced her whole family to attend. He is thinking about Niall's crooked smile and his fits of laughter when Harry was making one of his silly jokes. He is thinking about Gemma and Niall getting ready for the prom. All of these thoughts of Niall are entangled with the painful memories of Gemma.

His eyes are watering again when he imagines his sweet little sister .Harry slowly feels his body functioning in a more normal manner. He thinks that as long as there is still hustle and bustle in that ambulance there is hope.

Harry also finds himself praying again. He is pleading with God to save the one he still loves. The love he tried to rip out of his heart. He thought that he would be over him . Apparently his feelings survived in a hidden corner of his heart.

Harry is ready to break free now that everything has changed . . Now that his world has turned upside down. When Niall survives his suicide, I won't beat around the bush any longer Harry swears. Life can end at any time. Why should I continue to wast time? Harry isn't willing to consider the hypocritical rules of society, church, or family any longer. He needs to man up. He needs to fight for the one who has been in his heart all these years. He won't let him go when Harry finally reveals his feelings that have been bottled up for so long. He will make a move, open up, and tell Niall everything. There is the possibility that Niall might turn his back on him because he may be grossed out by Harry's confession. However, it's better to feel grossed out then to never find out what is going on inside of Niall's heart. Heaven is willing to give him a second chance and so he will take it. No, he won't hide in the corner of his room pining over Niall anymore. He won't let him go because he is too gutless .

He isn't sure. He hasn't ever noticed that Niall might be into guys.

He's been cheerful, open -minded, spontaneous, selfless, and caring but also very responsible. Harry can safely tell that Niall has never been afraid of physical contact. He has always been a bit touchy-feely. To consider Niall to be bi or gay is far- fetched in Harry's view.

Nothing is wrong with his behavior. All of the Styles love to cuddle and show their affection. This is normal behavior in their eyes.

Harry can't stop his thoughts from going haywire. In his mind, he is jumping from one topic to another.

Harry doesn't understand an has never understood how his hospitable caring and helpful family can be so strict and have such close minded thinking when it comes to relationships between Catholic and Protestant Christians. He never understood what the problem was. They are all Christians for crying out loud. Can't people just respect that for some people the Lord's Supper is a sacrament and for other's only a remembrance of what happened more than two thousandthousands years ago? Is requiring help from Mother Mary or the Saints making people better Christians? Harry doesn't see the point.