A Second Chance

31

Baby, cut off the lights,
let our hands talk tonight.

Harry is back in his room, his last exam finished and he can't wait to go home for Christmas. See his mum, Robin, his friends from Mullingar and sees Niall again on Christmas eve.

He decided to stay in Cork two more days catch up with all the work he had been missing the last three weeks, his room is all over the gaff, needs vacuuming, dusting and tidying, mounds of laundry all over the floor.

He's glad that his mum has been busy enough with Christmas preparations the didn't show up for a spontaneous visit.

Although for a jar of his mum's ginger biscuits he even might have put up with her complaints about his messy room.
All too easily he can imagine her scolding like she could write messages in the dust of the shelves.

In his vivid imagination he clearly hears her giving him a piece of her mind about mountains of dirty dishes in the sink and the horrendous state of the bathroom, he sees her wading into clearing the obvious chaos at the drop of a hat.

Flashback

Tom, Adrian and Harry had worked out a cleaning schedule but who should be blamed for ignoring their plan when the last three weeks have been like hell for the three of them and cleaning seemed just a waste of time.

So Harry decided days ago not to leave Cork before the flat is mostly decent.
He volunteered to do the cleaning and told Tom and Adrian he didn't need their help das he sensed that both haven't been doing well the last two weeks.

After everything they did to support him it was his turn to give them something in return..

Even with all the work lying ahead of him he had noticed that something was off with his friends.
He knows it already days before Tom eventually told him in confidence that his girlfriend's parents wanted a divorce and she was hurting about the situation at home. She had been crying on the phone for days so Tom was anxious to get back home and give her all the comfort and support she needed so badly.

Yet he wouldn't find out what was going on in Adrian's mind, he got only vague and meaningless answers lately when he asked him about his well-being.
At first Harry was sad and kinda disappointed that Adrian wouldn't trust him enough to open up.
Friends are supposed to be there for each other and not to be doomed to watch their close mates suffer and struggle.

So he had to look on helplessly as his friend wavered and stumbled on a race to the bottom, watched how his lively friend was avoiding any closeness, noticed how he hid behind a wall of silence and dissociation, watched him slowly weakening, fading away. And Harry got sad and frustrated as he obviously had been so preoccupied with all the homework and papers, had been so caught up in thinking about Niall that he had missed out on Adrian's silent cries for help.

He talked with David who was worried to death but they were still speaking at least, they tried to feel out why he cut off all his other friends but only Niall opened his eyes for the unalterable. His words made him see a different point of view, soothed his agitated mind that was filled with self- reproaches and self-doubts.

It's almost eerie how Niall can read others, can understand what's going on in their minds, how clearly he sees even nebulous train of thoughts.

There ain't no thoughts that are alien
to him.
" Harry, there are people you can't save, even can't help as much as you try. That isn't your fault, it's in these people.
They need something, something that you can't give them.
No matter how much you'll try it won't be enough because you aren't what they actually need.
Look at your friend, I believe that his heart is crying and it won't stop until it'll be at home.