A Second Chance

40

They are all there, standing around the lonely grave under the weeping willow. All their friends and family members have arrived to remember what happened 10 years ago.
Harry sits on the greenish wooden bench a guitar in his lap and starts playing the initial chords of the song he wrote for his sister.
It still hurts to think of her, but he has learned  to live with the hurt, has learned to accept the empty space in his heart.
While his fingers slide gently over the strings he slowly lifts his head just that much that he is able to watch the people standing in a circle around the grave.

They are all here to remember and to support each other, they all have survived somehow, have learned to live with the empty space in their hearts, have learned to accept what had happened five years ago.
They have learned that moving on somehow doesn't mean to forget, they have learned and realised that everyone deserves a second chance and that life offers chances deliberately and completely unexpected.

Losing a loved person often opens eyes, makes people realise that they take for granted what is meant to be a treasure.
Love and friendship, loyalty and persistence, trust and understanding, all was a given, his family showered him with love and while he grew up it became more and more natural, nothing worthy to think about.

His therapist told him not to be too  harsh on himself but it has been easier to forgive everyone but himself .
He couldn't forgive himself that he missed too many chances to stay in contact, spend time with loved ones while he was much too preoccupied trying to figure life, who he was and who he wants to be and above all his own sexuality.

While gently picking the strings he lets his eyes move from person to person, his mum and Robin, standing next to Maura and Jay, then Liam holding hands with Zayn, his husband for almost eight years, his eyes linger for a couple of seconds on the familiar shapes of the two most important persons in his life, Niall and Ava before they move on to Louis and then El.
He further notices a couple of neighbours, various friends and mates with their significant others, the amount of people who came is overwhelming, after all these years so many people who care.

And it's only because of the people who are with him that his voice wouldn't break when he sings the song for them, that song he wrote for her ten years ago in remembrance of their childhood.
A song that so perfectly describes their relationship, a late love song for his sister.
After all the time, he can still see her sparkling brown eyes when she talked about things which were important and she was passionate about.
He can still see her frown, her narrowed brows when she vehemently disagreed with him.
Although three years younger she hardly budged when she thought she was right, they both used to be so stubborn, inherited the same traits.

He wished she had trusted him with her secret, wished she wouldn't have to die fearing to face the wrath of her family.
It would be an easy, too easy assumption that everyone had supported her and Louis and her decision to carry the baby.
People on the countryside weren't known to be overly open-minded, prenuptial sexual intercourse still frowned upon by strict Catholic people, children born out of wedlock a scandal.
Yet what happened years ago was a chance for something new, a new beginning of sorts, it started subtly. A bit more understanding, less judgement and people started to listen more closely to what others were saying or what they were not saying.
It's still not ideal but they are trying.
They can't change the way that people still have to face injustice, have to face consequences when their faces are more coloured, they don't attend Sunday mass or they choose to love someone of the same gender.
While Harry softly sings the last lines of the song his eyes are on his husband and their adopted baby daughter and there is only love and peace in his heart.

Notes:

Thank you to everyone who has read this story, whether you found it when I posted the last chapter or were here since the beginning, or came in somewhere along the way. It means the world to me that you read. To the people who were here for a while and waited for months or even years, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know what it's like to wait for a fic to be updated and to wonder if it ever will be—to even lose hope—and I can't express how grateful I am that you came back to read this last chapter. There were times when I thought I'd given up on this story, times I even thought I'd given up on writing, so thank you for sticking with me, for returning.
I never wanted to be one of this authors who didn't finish what they had started and for a long time it seemed like I couldn't find myself writing anything ever again.